It is difficult to be a good person; Many times, not only do you have to leave room for others, but you also need to pave the way for yourself. If you don't have a little "scheming", you will fall into a dead end as a person. There is no retreat or way out. You can only stand on the dead road and lament the dead end.
When you are prosperous, you often think about your decline. When you are on stage, you should think about your end.
As the saying goes, "Things must turn upside down when they are extremely prosperous, and they must decline when they are extremely prosperous." Liu Yuxi's sentence "In the old days, the king Xietang Qianyan flew into the common people." "Home" tells the story of the ups and downs, honors and disgrace, and the changing of dynasties. When people are in their prime, they are like boiling water. If the temperature is not cooled down quickly, it will evaporate without a trace in a short time. Only those who know how to "stop the boiling cauldron by drawing fuel from the bottom" can avoid the upcoming fatal disaster, and are truly outstanding among outstanding people.
Zeng Guofan, the famous prime minister in the late Qing Dynasty, when he reached the peak of his career by annihilating the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom movement, he knew very well that high power will shake the master, and prosperity will inevitably lead to decline. Therefore, he quickly and decisively took the step of showing weakness to avoid an imminent crisis. The coming power struggle, which may even lead to death, is actually a wise move. This kind of "scheming" and foresight is worthy of study and imitation by future generations.
The capture of Tianjing was the greatest victory since Zeng Guofan led the Hunan Army in the war. The reputation of brothers Zeng Guofan and Zeng Guoquan reached its peak. The Qing government rewarded these heroes who "were weathered by wind and rain, and prepared for hardships." Zeng Guofan was awarded the title of Prince Taibao, a first-class marquis, a hereditary succession, and was awarded with double-eye flower feathers; Zeng Guoquan was awarded the title of Prince Shaobao, a first-class earl, and was awarded with double-eye flower feathers. For such a grand reward, Zeng Guofan was very grateful: "This is the most generous reward for mediocrity in our dynasty. I am ashamed and trembling, how can I repay it."
However, all this is just for Zeng Guofan brothers. The apparent glory of the two. Secretly, what the Zeng Guofan brothers faced were countless turbulent "whirlpools". The energy generated by these whirlpools was enough to drag them into the abyss of eternal destruction.
After Tianjing was captured, Zeng Guofan was no longer the Minister of War without a single soldier in the capital. His disciples and former officials had spread all over the southeast, from the governor to the admiral. At the same time, Zeng Guoquan also had 50,000 "strong" Hunan troops in his hands, which undoubtedly posed a great threat to the rule of the Qing government. After the fall of Tianjing, the Qing government's biggest worry was no longer the remnants of the Taiping Rebellion, but the political and military power of Zeng Guofan, the governor of Liangjiang who was gaining increasing military power, and the Han landlord class centered on the Hunan Army. This required the Qing government to proceed from the overall strategy of centralization and localization, centralization and decentralization. This special political demand determined that Zeng Guofan could not escape the fate of being seized of power after his success.
After the fall of Tianjing, the Qing government began to limit the expansion of Zeng Guofan's power. The Qing government took advantage of the inherent contradictions within the Hunan Army to quickly promote and support Zeng Guofan's generals. Their status rapidly increased to the point where they were on par with Zeng Guofan. When Zuo Zongtang's Zuo Hunan Army formed an alliance with Shen Baozhen, broke away from Zeng Guofan, and challenged him, the Qing government took full advantage of it, secretly supporting Zuo and Shen to fight against Zeng Guofan, and disintegrating Zeng Guofan's power from within. As for Zeng Guoquan, they tried their best to suppress him and prevent him from having a chance to rise up. Although he had been promoted to governor of Zhejiang, he was not allowed to make a single announcement on the pretext that he had not yet taken office.
Faced with the situation of Zeng Guofan, who was facing the situation of "the cunning rabbit dies, the running dogs are cooked, the birds are gone, the good bows are hidden, the enemy country is destroyed, and the advisers are destroyed", how to get out of the current predicament is indeed an urgent problem. In fact, in the period before the fall of Tianjing, Zeng Guofan had already thought about how to end the war after it was completed. After the fall of Tianjing, Zeng Guofan had already seen clearly and was mentally prepared to face the court's suspicion and all the difficulties that followed. If you want to get better at your end, you must cut your own wings.
Zeng Guofan often reminded himself to pay attention to the cruel historical lesson that "wealth and wealth are always in danger". He knew very well that "the cunning rabbit dies, the lackeys are cooked, the birds are gone, the good bow is hidden, the enemy's country is destroyed, and the adviser is destroyed." It is a feudal governance technique, so only by promoting beauty and giving up merit can we maintain profits and maintain peace. When Zeng Guofan rushed to Jiangning from Anqing, the "package" solution was fully mature.
After Zeng Guofan arrived in Nanjing, he "decided to abolish the Xiangyong Army" on the fourth day of July. In the memorial on the seventh day of July, he told the Qing court that "there are too many troops under the command, and it is planned to abolish 30,000 to 40,000 troops." , to save waste."
While dismantling the Hunan Army, Zeng Guoquan was also asked to open a vacancy due to illness and return to his hometown for recuperation. Zeng Guoquan's actions in capturing Tianjing immediately became the target of public criticism. At the same time, the Qing government was most worried about him, fearing that his followers would gather if he ascended to a high place and shouted, so it wanted him to leave the military camp early but not allow him to go to the post of governor of Zhejiang. Reluctantly, Zeng Guofan had no choice but to leave Zhejiang as governor due to his serious condition and return to his hometown for recuperation. Soon the Qing government approved Zeng Guofan's proposal and rewarded Zeng Guoquan with six taels of ginseng as a token of comfort. Zeng Guoquan was puzzled by this, but Zeng Guofan knew the stakes and tried his best to persuade him.
Later, Zeng Guoquan returned to his hometown, but his resentment could not be eliminated, and he became seriously ill. From then on, he resigned from all posts. It was not until the spring of the fifth year of Tongzhi that the Qing government appointed him as governor of Hubei, and he took office. Later generations could not help but admire Zeng's strategy of using retreat as advancement and retreating as protectors to become officials.
The abolition of the Hunan Army was a typical event in which Zeng Guofan planned things first and "always thought about things in times of prosperity".
Zeng Guofan has always advocated that "always think about prosperity and decline, and think about the end when you are on the field. Rich people must keep these two words in mind."
The higher a person's position and fame, the easier it is to boss around and get carried away, and the more resentment and jealousy he encounters. The reason why Zeng Guofan has been worshiped by many great people and celebrities for more than a century and became the last spiritual idol in the feudal era has a lot to do with his good evening performance.
Zeng Guofan once comforted and warned his younger brother: We are now in an excellent time, and I am the only one responsible for the family affairs. You should wholeheartedly be an upright person, and obey the gods. Once your reputation is established and your trustworthiness is established, even if you answer casually, nothing will be accomplished. So there is no need to be greedy for money or take advantage.
It can be seen that Zeng Guofan connected reputation with greed. A greedy person will have a bad reputation; a generous person will have a good reputation. Once your reputation spreads, you can take things a step further. Zeng Guofan's knowledge can be described as advanced, and can even be said to be a bit cunning. He regarded a good reputation as the foundation of a person's life. It should be upright and the source should be clear, and one should not put the cart before the horse.
Zeng Guofan attaches great importance to the family's reputation and reputation. In order to maintain the family's reputation and reputation, he can be said to have worked hard and dedicated himself.
As the saying goes, a big tree attracts the wind. Due to the great success of the family, several brothers were high-ranking officials in the court, so there were many rumors about their brothers.
Zeng Guofan heard the accusations against his brothers' evil deeds more than once. After hearing this, he did not want to keep it secret, but told the brothers one by one; he either directly blamed them or tactfully advised them, hoping that they would do something wrong. Then change it, if not, then encourage it.
It was precisely because of Zeng Guofan's foresight and painstaking efforts that the great honor and political assets gained by the Zeng family were preserved. After Zeng Guofan conquered Tianjing, his personal reputation and military strength reached their peak. Many of his subordinates hinted that Zeng Guofan would raise troops to restore the Han nationality. Zeng Guofan declined politely and wrote a picture of "Looking up to the sky and shining on the sea." Countless couplets are used to express one's thoughts, such as "flowing water and high mountains, the heart knows itself".
Zeng Guofan knew how to be an official and conduct himself in society all his life. Especially after he reached his peak, he knew how a big tree attracts the wind. He cut his own wings to help him pass through the "challenge of life and death", and achieved the "holy appearance" at the end of the feudal period. Its reputation has always been praised by future generations.
Leave room for everything, and there is no harm in taking a step back
In the world, the most unpredictable thing is the human heart. Some people look at gentlemen and always smile playfully, but when His hands are crueler and darker than anyone else's. For this kind of villain who stabs in the back, the worst strategy is to hide, and the thirty-six strategies of "hiding" are the best strategy; the middle strategy is to control, using your hands to subdue others; the best strategy is to eliminate, conspiracy, and getting rid of them is the best strategy.
The last tactic in "Thirty-Six Strategies" is "Go to the top." The original stratagem said: "The whole army avoids the enemy, and there is no blame for the left move. It is not abnormal." Today's translation is, the whole army retreats, Avoiding the enemy, retreating in order to advance, and waiting to defeat the enemy does not violate the normal laws of military use.
Walking, on the surface, means retreating, but in fact it is the highest tactic. It has real practicality and makes people feel that "it is better to retreat than to show off your cleverness."
The strategy of walking, when it comes to life and doing things, is "advance as you retreat". To advance as you retreat is not a sign of cowardice, but a sign of "scheming". Su Dongpo said in "A Letter to Cheng Xiucai": "I surrendered my whole being to God, let it run, go with the flow, and stop when I encounter a low point. In this way, whether I am walking or stopping, there is no problem." That’s it.” Su Dongpo advocated that people should obey God’s will and not force their advance or retreat. This is just like nature has clouds and sunny days, the moon waxes and wanes, the seasons are winter and summer, and the weather is hot and cold. Everything goes well is just people's best wishes, life is rarely smooth sailing.
Zhuangzi once said that everyone who is poor will be happy; Su Shi said that one can advance and retreat freely. Whether it's Zhuangzi's Qingtong or Dongpo's advance and retreat, they both refer to a strategy for doing things. Poor communication refers to people's actual situation and experience, while advancement and retreat refers to people's subjective attitudes and actions. Zhuangzi believes that only by following nature and not forcing things can you live a free and happy life. Su Shi believed that only by being content with the trend of the times and applying the laws of nature can people advance and retreat freely, and be happy even if they are rich or poor. From this point of view, advancing and retreating is the great principle and great wisdom of life.
We often say: "Don't do the absolute best when you are a man, and don't say the absolute best when speaking." Lian Po was once stubborn and despised Lin Xiangru. Duke Zhuang of Zheng was too exhausted to talk, so he had no choice but to dig out the ground and spring, and then he met his mother. Therefore, as the saying goes: "Leave a thin line in everything so that we can meet again in the future." Only by leaving room for everything can we avoid going to extremes. Especially when weighing the gains and losses of advance and retreat, be sure to stop when it's good and try to stop when it's good.
Although spring is good, it will eventually come to an end. The same is true in life, everyone has highs and lows. People are not as good as a thousand days, and flowers are not as beautiful as a hundred days. Just like rubbing cards, one cannot always succeed. A good deck of cards is often followed by the beginning of bad cards. Therefore, the biggest winner is to give up as soon as possible. This is the true meaning of being a human being. When interacting with others, whether they are same-sex confidants or opposite-sex friends, one must have a moderate attitude.
The friendship between gentlemen is as light as water, which can avoid the ending of losing all the power and benefiting people. At the same time, true friendship can only be seen in the ordinary. The more inseparable friends are, the easier it is for them to turn against each other. Therefore, the ancients warned: "It is better to retreat first when you are deeply favored, and then break up when you are very proud." Even if a loving couple spends a long time together, their love for the elderly will fade one day. The poet Qin Shaoyou of the Northern Song Dynasty said, "If love lasts for a long time, how can it last day and night?" This is not only a psychological comfort for the separated couples in the two places, but also a way of making friends.
Don’t take advantage of yourself
Don’t do everything by yourself, and get all the benefits. In this case, although you can achieve the first grade of junior high when you gain power, when you lose power, others will If you can achieve fifteen, you may end up with a tragic end in the end, so when there are benefits, you must share the pie with others. This is called "it is convenient for others, and it is convenient for yourself."
Hu Xueyan, the famous "red-top businessman" in the Qing Dynasty, spent his life in officialdom and shopping malls, working in both black and white, both at the upper and lower levels. He truly lived up to the point of being a "good man". This is a very important principle for him in life. It means "all benefits are shared and resources are shared among all". This made him an "immortal" legend.
When Hu Xueyan does business, he will always put popularity first. "Popularity" internally refers to employees' loyalty and single-mindedness to the company; externally it refers to the mutual support and consideration of colleagues.
Hu Xueyan has his own unique views on money. Among them, a very important point is to share a piece of the pie with others and share the benefits.
Once, Hu Xueyan heard news that a batch of advanced and sophisticated arms had been shipped in from outside. The news was immediately confirmed, and Hu Xueyan knew that this was another good deal, and it would definitely be very profitable. He immediately contacted foreign businessmen. With his experienced experience, clever skills, and his credibility and reputation in the arms industry, Hu Xueyan quickly settled this arms business.
Just when he was feeling proud, he heard from friends in the business community that someone was accusing him of being unkind in business. It turned out that the foreign businessman was planning to sell this batch of arms to another colleague in the arms industry at a price lower than what Hu Xueyan paid. However, before that colleague paid for the goods, they were bought by Hu Xueyan at a higher price. , causing that colleague to lose a good opportunity to make money.
After hearing about this, Hu Xueyan felt ashamed of his rash actions. He immediately found his colleague to discuss how to handle the matter. That colleague knew Hu Xueyan's influence in the arms industry and was afraid that Hu Xueyan would embarrass him in future business, so he couldn't set out the conditions. He had to say that since the business was done by Boss Hu, forget it and just hope to keep it in the future. Give them food.
The matter seemed to be solved so easily, but Hu Xueyan was not. He took the initiative to ask his colleague to "sell" this batch of arms to him at the same price as the foreign merchant, so that the colleague would suffer. There is no need to pay any money, let alone take risks. As soon as the matter was settled, Hu Xueyan immediately gave the price difference subsidy to the colleague. That colleague admired Hu Xueyan's business ethics very much.
By achieving three birds with one stone through such negotiation, Hu Xueyan still made a good deal; he did not offend the colleague; he won the heartfelt favor of the colleague, and his reputation among his peers became even higher. This mastery of skills and superb "scheming" in life have increasingly consolidated his position in the business world and become a magic weapon for him to gallop in the business world.
Not taking advantage of others' dangers to steal their jobs is a concrete manifestation of Hu Xueyan's harmonious way of doing things. He has always adhered to this principle and has gained an excellent reputation in business circles.
Hu Xueyan had been doing business abroad for a long time. Although he did not want to be an official, he had no fame when interacting with the people in the scene, which made him appear to be of low status, so he bought a top hat. Later, Wang Youling held three major positions and could not take care of Hangzhou. In the city's Maritime Transportation Bureau, Hu Xueyan succeeded in donating his position, so Wang Youling said that he would appoint Hu Xueyan as a member of the Maritime Transportation Bureau, which would be Wang Youling's agent in the Maritime Transportation Bureau.
Hu Xueyan thought it was impossible. His reason is also very simple, but most people just can't do it. The key is that Hu Xueyan will take a step back and consider others. Hu Xueyan told Wang Youling directly that there was a member of the Maritime Bureau, Commissar Zhou, who was senior and senior. If Wang Youling resigned, he should be replaced by Commissar Zhou. If Hu Xueyan were to take the position rashly, it would be equivalent to robbing Commissar Zhou of the benefits he deserved. Anyway, Commissioner Zhou has been subdued by him. If Zhou is acting as the head, he will still discuss everything with Hu Xueyan, which means that he is still Hu Xueyan's agent behind the scenes. In this case, the acting position should be awarded to Committee Member Zhou.
In this way, Hu Xueyan avoided taking away Comrade Zhou’s benefits and creating a potential enemy for himself in the future. Therefore, his "equity" is indeed very visionary and far-sighted.
Using the same concept, Hu Xueyan also helped Wang Youling once. Wang Youling was very proud of his officialdom. He held the three positions of Huzhou Prefecture, Wucheng County Magistrate, and Maritime Transport Bureau. Wang Youling received the appointment order in late April, and everyone around him persuaded him to hurry up and take over on May 1. See things. The reason for such suggestions is simple: take office as early as possible and celebrate the Dragon Boat Festival as early as possible.
The official system of the Qing Dynasty was dim, and kickbacks with red envelopes and filial bribes were openly practiced and became a common practice.
As far as the custom is concerned, there is "charcoal respect" in winter, "ice respect" in summer, and there are additional incomes during three festivals a year, which are called "jiejing". Zhejiang Province was originally the most blessed place in the south of the Yangtze River, and Huzhou Prefecture was the most blessed place among the most blessed. Naturally, there were many filial piety. Wang Youling was appointed as the prefect of Huzhou in late April. All the smart and talented people under his command advised him to go on his way as soon as possible. Handover on May 1st. In this way, he will be able to show his "honesty" as soon as he takes office.
Wang Youling asked Hu Xueyan's opinion on this, but Hu Xueyan said: "Money will run out one day, but friendship cannot be saved if you offend!" He advised Wang Youling to wait until after the Dragon Boat Festival before taking office.
The reason why Hu Xueyan made this suggestion was based on many considerations. Wang Youling was not the first prefect of Huzhou. There were predecessors before him. Others had been in the prefecture of Huzhou for so long, and they were counting on the Dragon Boat Festival. Respect, of course Wang Youling can take the lead and take over the affairs, and seize the honor of his predecessor. Of course, it is justified. However, in this way, you will invisibly create a conflict with your ex. Of course it is fine now, but there is no guarantee that it will break out in the future. If it happens in the future at a critical moment, and everyone pushes down the wall, or falls into a well, it will not be worth it.
Hu Xueyan deeply understands that you cannot take all the benefits, and you cannot take everything for granted. You must think about the other party and give the other party a piece of the pie when there are benefits, so as to avoid any grudges. When you lose power, others will add insult to injury. Hu Xueyan is proficient in the "scheming" of life and has avoided possible traps several times. He is indeed a generation of business wizards and worthy of emulation by those who are interested.
Be generous and treat trivial matters
Be merciful and merciful. When people live together as equals and live together in this world, there is no major conflict of interest. Being "unforgiving" can turn small things into big things, which will add a lot of unnecessary trouble and is not good for anyone. Therefore, we must learn to be tolerant and kind.
There is no doubt that being tolerant is a sign of noble character. But when you see someone else doing something bad, you have to hide it for them. This seems to conflict with people's usual principles of life. Lu Kun, a man of the Ming Dynasty, also believed that treating others kindly like this would make him broad-minded. Some people naturally suspect that Lu Kun is not wrong at all. This is a great wisdom in life, and the ancients have used it many times.
In ancient Southern Song Dynasty, there was a man named Shen Daoqian. His family had a vegetable garden and planted radishes. On this day, Shen Daoqian came home from outside and found a man stealing his radishes. He quickly moved away and waited until the man had finished stealing and left before he came out. Another time, someone pulled out the bamboo shoots behind his house. Shen Daoqian sent someone to tell the person who pulled the bamboo shoots: "Keep these bamboo shoots and they can grow into a bamboo forest. You don't need to pull them out. I will give you better ones." Someone bought big bamboo shoots and gave them to the man, but the man was too embarrassed to accept them. Shen Daoqian had the bamboo shoots delivered directly to that person's home. Shen Daoqian came from a poor family and often took his children to the fields to glean wheat. Occasionally, when he encountered other people gleaning ears of wheat competing with each other, he would give all he had picked up to the other people, who was very ashamed.
Cao Cao's great-grandfather Cao Jie was known in his hometown for his kindness. Once, a neighbor's pig got lost, and the pig looked exactly like Cao Jie's pig. The neighbor found the Cao family and said that it was his pig. Cao Jie didn't fight with him, so he gave the pig to his neighbor. Later, the neighbor's pig was found, and he realized that there was a mistake, so he sent Cao Jie's pig back and apologized repeatedly. Cao Jie just smiled and did not blame the neighbor.
The ancients in these two stories both hid themselves a little for "other people's misfortunes". On the surface, Shen Daoqian and Cao Jie appear to be nothing but cowards. But in fact, it shows that they are generous and kind-hearted. Stealing radishes and plucking bamboo shoots to compete for wheat is a bad behavior, but it is also the helplessness of poor people and poor families. Why should we be deeply blamed? Hiding a little bit for him will actually make him feel ashamed and change his ways. Although the neighbor mistakenly identified the pig, although there is a selfish side, the loss of the pig is still a big loss to the average person. It is understandable that the neighbor misidentified the pig in a hurry. The ancients thought of others wholeheartedly and would rather suffer losses for themselves, which is a reflection of their broad-mindedness and kindness to others.
What needs to be made clear is that what Lu Kun said about "hiding others is not good" is to hide the general mistakes of "others" - our neighbors, colleagues, and friends, especially those committed by ourselves. The fault lies in "contradictions among the people." It is definitely not something like covering up crimes, which cannot be confused.
Don’t use rude methods to publicly expose and attack the common “bad things” about gays, but treat them kindly. This is to make them feel ashamed and reflect on themselves. Otherwise, it may hurt the self-esteem of gays and even make things worse. deterioration. There are lessons to be learned in this regard. During the "Cultural Revolution", "taking class struggle as the key link" was vigorously pursued. The common mistakes of many comrades, some of which were not even mistakes at all, were unlimitedly criticized, exposed and severely criticized. As a result, how many human tragedies were caused! Relationships between people became very tense, and it’s painful to think about. The "Cultural Revolution" destroyed people's virtues and still has sequelae. It also combined with some of the ills of the market economy and society, making many people become indifferent, selfish, acrimonious and intolerant. There is a lack of trust and friendliness between each other, and only interests are left. relation.
If we casually suspect other people's bad qualities without any basis, doesn't this mean that we lack the most basic trust in others, and that we lack the broad-mindedness to be kind and kind to others?
Being a human being is originally a very simple matter. Mutual suspicion and jealousy make the originally simple and clear problems complicated. However, a little kindness can ease the conflicts between people, so what? Are you happy?
It is better to resolve enemies than to make them
There may be irresponsible hatred between people, but please remember: hostility increases little by little. , can also be weakened bit by bit. There is an old saying in China: It is better to resolve grievances than to end them. Under the same roof, we can never see each other without looking up. It is better to make fewer enemies to become a mature person.
It is inevitable that there will be disputes between people. People with "scheming" will make big problems into trivial matters, but resolving hostility also requires skills.
"How to turn enemies into friends" is a profound knowledge in the office battlefield.
Your colleague once had a head-to-head fight with you over the same position. However, today you two are heads of different departments. Although you have no direct contact, who knows the future situation? So you should pave the way for the future.
If you invite the other person or give him a gift for no reason, it is too abrupt and too derogatory. You should wait for the opportunity. For example, find out his date of birth from the human resources department, organize a small birthday party in the company, take the initiative to raise funds to send him gifts... Remember, no one can resist a good intention.
If the other person is promoted to a new position, this is the best time. Write a greeting card and send your sincere blessings. If other colleagues hold a celebration party for him, no matter how busy you are, you must take the time. Participate, otherwise treat the other person to lunch privately. After congratulating each other, you might as well talk more about the happiness and happiness at work, and never mention the unpleasant events in the past to bring the two parties closer together.
Remember, you must seize the opportunity to do these goodwill work in advance, otherwise it will be too late to act when you have direct trouble with him, and it will only give people a "philistine" feeling.
You work in accordance with the principle of working quietly and being loyal to your duties, but your colleagues in the company have changed. Old colleagues have found other jobs, and there are more and more new colleagues, and you actually feel out of place with them. . It's because you haven't paid much attention to the changes in people around you and haven't deliberately gotten to know them.
The remedy is not difficult. Pick a special day (the purpose is just to make a name for yourself), such as the successful completion of a project or your birthday, and treat your colleagues to a meal. This meal is of great significance, so don’t forget the following tasks: take the opportunity to learn more about the background of each colleague, including public and private. This will be of great benefit to you and will facilitate your future work.
Based on your familiarity, join their lunch circle. Of course, you don’t have to do it every day. This is too abrupt and may not be suitable for you. Just arrange two days a week. The purpose is to maintain a certain Contact us to obtain certain information about the company. In addition to lunch, it is also a good idea to go for some entertainment after get off work. Being away from the office will make everyone more relaxed, conversation becomes much more casual, and it is easier to get acquainted with each other.
In addition, in terms of official affairs, no matter how familiar you are, you should still handle official matters. But when you have time, you might as well lend a helping hand to your colleagues. Taking the initiative is a must!
People are emotional animals. Working in a pleasant atmosphere can get twice the result with half the effort. You might as well care more about others, be considerate of others, increase intimacy, and get things done more easily. Starting today, try to be a popular colleague! If you succeed, your chances of getting promoted in the future will also greatly increase!
Smile is the sharpest weapon. When you ask a colleague to finish the document, say "Excuse me" and add a smile, he will be infected by your kindness and work extra hard; or when your colleague hands you the prepared plan, don't forget to thank him and smile. , this is not only polite, but also an expression of gratitude. Everyone loves to receive compliments. If you say something that others like to hear, as long as it is not a lie, it does not count as burying your conscience. Don't yell at your colleagues. Not only is this rude and unkind, it also shows a lack of confidence.
Even if you encounter a difficult problem and feel extremely depressed, you need to smile, put aside your worries, and talk and laugh with your colleagues to dilute your bad mood and focus on your work.
Don’t brush yourself aside. If a colleague needs your help, don’t be stingy and do your best. Even if you don’t get an immediate return, your investment will not be in vain. At least he will. I think you are a good person.
If you do something wrong and it affects others, apologize quickly! Not many people are brave enough to admit their mistakes. Doing so will naturally leave a deep impression on the other party. Also, if you put yourself in other people's shoes and offer support, no one will dislike you.
You and a colleague have different opinions on something, and they refuse to give in to each other, resulting in a verbal conflict. You think you are being overly candid and tiring. Your biggest failure was that you listed all the wrong things this colleague had done in the past three months. Now, you feel regretful, hope to reverse the bad situation, and are willing to apologize to the other party. However, your colleague still seems to be extremely disappointed and distressed, making you feel even more guilty for apologizing.
In fact, the best and most effective strategy is to simply apologize to him: "I'm sorry, I went a little too far. I promise there won't be a next time."
If you Bringing up old matters again and trying to make excuses will only cause another conflict. At the same time, it will appear that you lack sincerity and people will never trust you again in the future. Remember, your goal is to soften things up and turn enemies into friends with your colleagues. Therefore, it is best to wait until the other person is in a better or calmer mood before formally apologizing.
The so-called enemy road is narrow, your mortal enemy, or someone who has had a grudge before, is assigned to your department and has a close working relationship with you. Now that the facts are before you, you must deal with them well.
It is impossible for you to forget your resentment. But there are several principles that need to be followed.
First of all, no matter when there is a grudge or who is right or wrong, do not get involved in the discussion at work and never mention it from now on, so as not to distinguish between public and private matters. If the other person touches the scar first, please calm down, look at him closely and say: "I will not remember the unpleasant things in the past, especially during working hours, so as not to affect my emotions."
Pretend to be selfless state. Maybe you worked with your partner in the past and everything was based on tacit understanding and trust, but with this new colleague, you must explain everything clearly to avoid misunderstandings, which may lead to unpleasant incidents or worsening heart problems. For example, when handing over a task, you must clearly indicate the goal of the task, the completion date, the plan for the report, etc. Do not take it for granted.
In short, you should treat all people and things with the principle that it is better to resolve enemies than to make enemies. No one will refuse to be sincere thousands of miles away.
End