Article丨Kung Fu Mommy
A few days ago, a video of a little boy crying became popular on the Internet.
The incident happened on December 28. The little boy was getting a haircut in a barber shop in Langfang, Hebei Province. Because the haircut given by the clerk was different from what he wanted, the little boy cried in grievance.
While crying, he also said excitedly: "What I want is lightning, this is a 2!"
For this lightning hairstyle, the boy specially grew his hair for a year. This shows that he attaches great importance to this hairstyle.
After many explanations, he even took it upon himself to draw the hairstyle he wanted.
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"I have to deal with it even to death!"
Many netizens were amused by this "stubborn" little boy, but my first reaction was:
Children are going through a very important stage in their growth - the aesthetically sensitive period.
At this stage, children’s aesthetic consciousness begins to sprout, and they are very concerned about their self-image and are very independent.
Parenting expert Sun Ruixue pointed out:
"The temperament of adults is caused by the aesthetics of childhood. The aesthetics of childhood establishes a person's lifelong aesthetic tendency and quality of life."
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During the aesthetically sensitive period, if children who love beauty cannot be well guided, it will have a negative impact on their physical and mental development.
It is human nature to love beauty, and it is also a necessary growth experience for every child.
However, many parents habitually suppress and suppress their children's budding pursuit of beauty, which is actually not conducive to the healthy development of their children's physical and mental health.
CCTV host Dong Qing grew up under severe pressure from his father.
When he was very young, his father made many very trivial and specific requests to Dong Qing. He did not allow Dong Qing, who had just learned to love beauty, to look in the mirror, nor did he allow his wife to make Dong Qing new clothes.
Dong Qing’s father has a famous saying: “No matter how dressed up a potato is, it’s still a potato.” In his opinion, girls who put too much thought on dressing up are “not doing their job properly” and might as well spend their time looking in the mirror. Used to read books.
Dong Qing’s father’s strict requirements taught her to persevere, which laid the foundation for her to later grow into a CCTV host, but at the same time, it also became a shadow that Dong Qing could not avoid.
She became insecure and once suspected that she was not her father’s biological child;
She became extremely inferior, “I became unconfident and wondered if I was not doing well. Am I inferior to others?"
When she talked about this childhood experience again many years later, she had tears in her eyes several times.
It wasn’t until one day that her father raised his glass of wine to apologize to her that she was able to let go.
Deliberately suppressing children’s pursuit of beauty will not only cause children to lose their judgment and grasp of beauty, affecting their future image and temperament, but will also cause psychological trauma and cast a shadow on children’s childhood. , thus affecting their life-long development.
Children who do not understand beauty are destined to miss more excitement and happiness.
The pursuit of beauty can not only make children feel happy, but also build strong self-confidence from an early age.
I once saw a very popular public service announcement.
A 6-year-old girl wore different clothes and went to the same place to test people's attitudes towards her.
When she dressed herself up neatly and elegantly and stood alone on the street, people passing by were attracted to her and asked her with concern if she needed help.
But when she stood in the same place in dirty clothes, no one came forward to talk to her.
Subsequently, the location of the test was changed to a restaurant.
The neatly dressed little girl sat at someone else's table. Everyone cared about her tenderly and even touched her.
When she put on dirty clothes and walked into the restaurant again, as long as she approached other people's tables, their eyes would be filled with disgust and they would even drive her away.
Although this was an experiment to test the reactions of passers-by, the little girl’s reaction was also intriguing.
When she was wearing dirty clothes, her whole person was depressed and her eyes were dull.
When she puts on beautiful clothes and combs her beautiful hair, she looks like a different person, with bright eyes and confidence.
Being close to and possessing beauty is an important way for children to establish connections with the surrounding society.
Parents who allow their children to love beauty can raise confident and beautiful children.
Educator Suhomlinsky once said:
"The perception and understanding of beauty is the core of aesthetic education and the key point of aesthetic cultivation. Without this cultivation, people will Their feelings will be indifferent to all the beautiful and noble things in life."
When children begin to have their own perception of "beauty", how should parents guide their children to develop a positive aesthetic?
(1) Respect children's aesthetics
There is one "cutest designer" in the United States, Mayhem. She became popular in the fashion circle when she was 4 years old and attracted 500,000 followers.
At a young age, she has been able to complete product design independently, including design sketches, material and pattern selection, cutting, splicing, sewing, etc.
Behind the achievements, there stands a mother who knows how to respect and appreciate her aesthetics.
Mayhem often wraps scarves and pieces of paper from home around her body and uses them as skirts.
Instead of stopping her, her mother encouraged her to "make a skirt out of paper."
Together they tried various kinds of paper such as poster paper, wrapping paper, toilet paper, silk scarves, etc., and made beautiful clothes.
My mother also took photos of the clothes designed by Mayhem and put them online, and they were favored by the famous brand J.Crew. Mayhem was invited to become a children's clothing designer.
No one is born with everything, and the same goes for aesthetic ability. It needs to sum up experience through continuous exploration in order to improve it bit by bit.
For a child who is in a sensitive period of aesthetics, the attitude of parents is particularly important.
If parents know how to respect their children's feelings, do not ridicule or suppress their children's aesthetics, and give them respect and care, they will lay a good foundation for the cultivation of their children's aesthetic ability.
(2) Help children establish a comprehensive and diverse aesthetic outlook
Huang Lei once said:
"True acceptance is not blind pampering. When we discover When the children's needs are met, we can help them establish a comprehensive and diverse aesthetic view and provide them with a stage to bloom beautifully, so that they can become better versions of themselves."
This is how he cultivates his daughter Duoduo. of.
Duoduo has been on the hot topics for hair dyeing, makeup, ear piercing and other matters, and has even aroused doubts from many netizens, but Huang Lei still supports his daughter.
Regarding the cultivation of his daughter's aesthetics, Huang Lei is not limited to these superficial things. He also encourages Duoduo to participate in dramas, translate picture books by himself, participate in international piano competitions and win awards...
In these activities, Duoduo has experienced all kinds of beauty, which is no longer limited to people's external beauty, but pays more attention to the inner beauty.
To establish a diverse and comprehensive aesthetics, we need to create conditions for children to be exposed to different beauties.
You can take your children into nature, appreciate the mountains, rivers, flowers and trees, and feel the beauty of nature;
You can take your children to art galleries, art galleries, and museums to inspire them to discover beauty and beauty with knowledge. Feel the beauty and appreciate the beauty.
Only by establishing a diverse and comprehensive aesthetic outlook, children will not be obsessed with the vanity brought about by appearance beauty, but pursue deeper beauty.
(3) Being a beauty-loving mother is the best aesthetic education for your children.
It is said that parents are the best role models for their children. Their image and life attitude will have a great influence on their children. Children's aesthetics has a profound impact.
Being a positive and beauty-loving mother is the best aesthetic education we can give our children.
Li Mingjue is "the world's leading figure in contemporary stage design" and "a master of American stage design." He has won the "Tony Award", the highest award for stage art in the United States.
The growth of this art master was deeply influenced by his mother.
The sense of ritual when her mother was wearing a cheongsam and putting on makeup carefully was what impressed Li Mingjue the most in his childhood.
He felt: "It is a kind of self-discipline behind good looks, as well as awe and love for life."
This deeply influenced Li Mingjue and prompted him to embark on the path of art. The woman on the road is none other than Tang Ying, who was known as the "first socialite" during the Republic of China.
Parents are their children’s first teachers, and they are also the first teachers for their children to understand and perceive beauty.
Parents who love beauty can not only enrich their children’s aesthetic cognition, but also convey to their children an attitude of loving life.
What you are now is what your child will be like in the future.
Kung Fu Mommy said:
It is human nature to love beauty, and aesthetic education is the most important and basic outlook on life education.
I hope that every child can have parents who respect their own aesthetics, guide and accompany them to discover beauty, and be able to establish a correct aesthetics and use it to nourish and enrich their lives.