Text/Liang Shuang
One morning I was almost late for work. The woman in the elevator who wasted our time made me more and more angry.
On the first floor, the elevator door was about to close. There was a beautiful woman who had just entered the office building. Seeing that the elevator was about to go up, she shouted "Please wait a moment". I pressed the door open button next to the floor button. .
In the end, this beautiful woman walked this short distance like she was walking out of a Paris catwalk, walking gracefully and gracefully. The elevator door had to close several times, and I pressed the button impatiently several times. Wait for her to open the door.
I mentally rolled my eyes at her. Everyone was busy clocking in, couldn’t we go faster?
Fortunately, I managed to avoid being late, but I was still angry. The anger was indeed anger at my own incompetence. After all, it was me who pressed the door button again and again to let her It’s a chance to waste everyone’s time.
There are many people around me who waste other people's time without realizing it:
People who have not been in contact for a long time ask you to do something, and they only pretend to be polite for a long time before making a request. Brother, if you have something to say, just tell me. You may have finished the matter after working hard for a long time.
People are rambling about something, and there are many overt and covert story lines. Sister, in order to understand what you want to say, I have spent my whole life refining subject, predicate, object and contraction sentences.
This kind of people don’t take their own time seriously, and they don’t take your time seriously either. If someone as impatient as me fights against them, the internal injuries will be serious every time.
Later I turned from complaining to introspection. Even if others wasted my time, I was the one who gave them this opportunity.
No, I have to take the initiative to stop others from wasting my time.
01
Others waste your time wantonly, because you have the aura of "you decide my time"
When I have a soft frame and soft eyelids When I hang my head low, I have a lazy look, which is simply the prelude to walking. Then someone will ask me, did I not sleep well last night? Auntie is coming?
When I am still angry and snorting, I have an angry look on my face, which is a magnet for gossip. Someone will come up soon. Who has offended you? What are you so angry about?
Once you have emotions, you will attract attention. Once the chat box is opened, it will never be shut down. So you have to figure out first whether you want to vent or talk, or whether you are busy solving problems.
And if I see others doing something seriously, I will be reluctant to disturb them. Similarly, if I concentrate on something, a barrier will be formed around me to keep others away.
Do you feel the same way? When someone reports to his or her boss, they state the current situation, quote data, and efficiently save their boss’s time. But for you, it turns into gossip and commonplace chatter. Maybe it’s your problem. Being loose will give off an aura of "you decide my time".
02
It’s okay for others to waste your time. Instead of stopping, you fully cooperated.
There is a terrible disease called "fear of embarrassment cancer" , knowing that I can't stand others asking for help or nagging, but I still smile and nod in agreement, without refusing or interrupting.
Hey, you are a dumpling, so don’t blame the dog for following you.
In this way, you will send a message that "you enjoy this chat", encourage him to ask for help, and stimulate his desire to perform.
The insurance salesman talked to you for twenty minutes, and after you asked him about everything, he said he was not interested, and he burst into tears; the braggart at the dinner table took you to reminisce about your youth, and you exclaimed all the way. He also shed tears when he forgot the last sentence.
Why are you cooperating with him and acting like crazy? Don’t others know how valuable your time is, and you have no idea?
Since you want to act, you just pretend to be busy, just look at your watch, and have a sense of rush that "socialism is waiting for me to build". No matter how strong his nerves are, no matter how strong his desire to talk, he will still let you live. .
If you really can’t bear it anymore, just say “I really want to talk to you again, but there is something urgent in 10 minutes.” This will not only allow him to be mentally prepared so that he won’t be abrupt, but also save his face. Whole corpse.
03
Even if others are wasting your time, you can still turn on the independent time-saving mode
I know a highly effective woman who needs to answer questions at her work After many phone calls, she found that most of the people who took the initiative to call her were accustomed to briefly introducing their company, the opportunity to get acquainted, and going through a polite process.
Even if each phone call only takes half a minute longer, it won’t be able to sustain the volume.
Later, when she exchanged numbers with someone for the first time, she made a note of the other person’s company, position, name, and the reason for the intersection. Someone called based on their business card number, and she immediately added it after answering the call once.
In this way, when she answers the phone, she first says, "A manager from a certain company, what are you calling me about?" This saves a lot of time for small talk. Don’t look at the average saving of 25 seconds per phone call. It’s hard to keep up with the volume.
She told me that she would rather go home and listen to her daughter babbling more than waste time on such things.
Another colleague once made the conclusion that “half an hour into the meeting, the PPT was still on page 3, so I decisively started doing my own thing.”
I have seen a staff meeting, and the general manager was mentioning the story of Nian Yong that we all know by heart. The colleague in the front row was flipping through the materials of key projects. I seemed to see him facing people who wasted his time. Or something, click one button to mute.
There are also some smart people who rarely argue for more than three sentences with people who have no interest in it, rarely chat with extreme criminals who have parallel views, and rarely argue with low-minded Internet trolls. A life or death.
Don’t get angry with yourself because of a conversation that fails to enhance your knowledge. Not only is the conversation time itself wasted, but you also have to set up an overtime period to regret it afterwards. Why are you bothering?
04
To reduce communication costs, start with me and cultivate the habit of valuing your time in others
I have a roommate in college who completely misses the point in his speech. , the priorities are unclear, and they are criss-crossed. When it comes to supporting roles, the background introduction must be extended, and when trivial matters are mentioned, three tenses will be switched. We are crazy when we hear this.
She also realized her own problems and asked us to help her correct them. Later, when we saw her off-topic preview, we pulled her back. One girl even helped her analyze and summarize. Later she made great progress and spoke concisely and understandably.
You see, good habits of saving your own and other people’s time can be developed.
Most of the time wasted is mutually reinforcing. I saw someone on the Internet saying that he couldn’t bear it when others asked "Are you there?" After a period of time, he asked "Are you here now?", and he replied "Are you here now" again after a period of time. Just two back and forth spanned several hours.
I feel anxious and angry. This kind of communication cost and emotional cost are too high.
When the other party asks you if you are there, just reply "Yes, but you are busy at work. If you have anything to say, just tell me." This will increase the chance that the other party will save your time. If his "are you" and your "are" always pass by each other, make an appointment to have a phone call.
It is annoying to see long voice messages when you are busy. You might as well remind them that there are many meetings at work, text is more convenient, and voice is neither convenient to listen to nor spoken; when you are busy, someone will ask you questions that are difficult to explain. , you might as well tell the other party tactfully that you have read this question on Zhihu or Baidu, but now you can’t remember it, so you might as well look it up yourself.
It is necessary to train others step by step to achieve low-cost communication methods. It is a matter of personal concern and cannot be left hanging.
In addition, if there is no convincing reason for someone else being late, breaking an appointment, or being out of shape, you have to let them know your principles. Just like one of my clients unilaterally canceled cooperation because Party B was late several times.
She said, "Time is money. If someone wastes my time, he has to pay me. Why should I pay him?"
Don't give others the opportunity to waste your time. , that is an indirect waste of your own time.
Come on, let’s review Lu Xun and Obama’s famous saying, “Wasting other people’s time is equal to seeking wealth and killing, and wasting one’s own time is equal to chronic suicide.
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