Although boys are naughty when they are young, they are more energetic than girls in their studies, and girls are inferior to boys in high school/university/work;
Northeasters can drink, while Sichuanese love spicy food. ......
Are we used to these views? These are the so-called "stereotypes".
We are born with colored glasses, but also bear all kinds of prejudices. These stereotypes may come from race, gender, region, nationality, religious belief, language, occupation and so on. ......
Although we don't have too much discrimination because of "stereotypes", these prejudices and labels derived from social identity are everywhere, which still make people feel uncomfortable, sometimes make people work too hard, and sometimes kill nature.
Stereotype has long been on Amazon's bestseller list, and it is a must-read for American Ivy League schools. The author of this book, Claude M. Steele, is a famous American psychologist. He used to be a professor at the University of Michigan, a professor at Stanford University and the provost of Columbia University. Combining years of observation and a lot of experiments, he proved how stereotypes and negative labels limit people's performance, and gave some coping strategies to help people get out of the trap of stereotypes, give full play to their talents and reshape their lives.
Since birth, we have been labeled with all kinds of labels.
Girls wear pink and red. They should be quiet, sensible and take good care of their families. It is better to study well, and it doesn't matter if they study poorly. Especially science, is not good at it. Just find an easy job, or put family first, marry a good family as soon as possible, and have children immediately after marriage. It is serious to take care of old people with children. ......
Some girls listened to these words and clenched their fists silently, thinking, why?
Boys should be brave and responsible, and their image should be tough. They must have a stable job. Only when they buy a house can they be qualified to marry a wife. After marriage, the economic power should be handed over to the wife, which is the hope of the whole family. If something goes wrong, they should be able to bear it silently. ......
Have men ever thought about it at the moment of collapse? Why?
These are just gender stereotypes.
In the workplace, I also met the stereotype of region and education.
"You are the northeast girl, alcohol must be good. Don't say you can't drink. Come and propose a toast to the leader. Is it shameful not to drink? "
"high flyers, who graduated from a key university, can't do this?"
"That's all for a month's salary after graduation. This is learned in vain ... "
The people who spoke out these prejudices didn't mean to hurt or attack anyone, but the social environment and deep-rooted stereotypes naturally formed the present situation.
If a child is labeled as "bad at math" because of his poor performance in childhood, it is likely that he will miss science all his life.
But in fact, the "mathematics" in childhood only involves arithmetic, but I am not skilled in addition and subtraction in a short time. And "mathematics" also includes spatial ability, logical reasoning, abstract thinking and many other contents.
Once children accept the label of "failing in mathematics", they will have psychological pressure in the next exam, and their grades will once again verify the conclusion of "failing in mathematics", slowly losing interest and eventually killing all the potential of science.
A large number of experiments in the book prove that the stereotype risk effect can affect the performance of people's various abilities: mathematical ability, expressive ability, analytical ability, reaction speed, language application, memory ability, oppression in negotiation, high jump performance and so on.
When we face stereotypes, there will be physiological reactions related to anxiety, such as rapid heartbeat and high blood pressure, which will affect the performance of the parties, such as playing ball in the examination room, but the parties don't know it.
Some children clearly review well, but the questions they usually do are wrong in the exam. We will blame them for "carelessness". In fact, the so-called "carelessness" is either true or psychological pressure.
Imagine what will happen to people's health if they are in an anxious state of rapid heartbeat and high blood pressure for a long time?
Perhaps many health problems are caused by anxiety caused by stereotypes, and we usually don't realize it at all.
Fortunately, stereotypes are not invincible.
1, growth thinking and fixed thinking
Growth thinking: although people are born with different talents, qualifications and personalities, they can all be changed through hard work and experience.
Mind-set: think that human talent is immutable.
What we should pay more attention to is the matter itself, rather than others' evaluation of ourselves. We don't need to try to prove ourselves to others, we just need to pay attention to whether we have grown up in the process of trying.
2. Learn "self-affirmation"
Tell yourself, "I am excellent", "I can do it" and "my personality and study are excellent". First, set up the "personal design", then accept the challenge and gradually improve it.
Don't set limits on your life.
When you have enough self-esteem, self-confidence and growth thinking, it doesn't matter what others say.
As Thoreau wrote in Walden, "As many radii can be drawn from the center of the circle, there are as many ways of life."
Without getting into a good university, life is not over. After all, "university" is only a small stage in life.
If the marriage is not smooth, life will never end, because in addition to marriage, there are careers, love, relatives and friends. ......
There are thousands of roads in life, and only your own road is your own destiny.
Stereotypes are difficult to read, because the authors spend a lot of time describing their research process, how to set up experiments, data and conclusions. However, it is this rigorous science that makes us more convinced.
After reading this book, I am more convinced not to label others easily, especially children; I also refuse to be labeled by others. What kind of person you want to be should be decided by yourself.
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