Psychologist Winnicott said that in the upbringing of children, "I need someone who won't retaliate to nourish the feeling that the world is ready to accept my instinct." Personalized self is very valuable. People living in this world are not born to obey. Once defeated in the fierce competition in society, it is easy to lose heart and lose vitality, so I choose to retreat to a very low position, or a closed small world.

Oedipus period

Psychoanalysis believes that children aged 3-6 will enter Oedipus, that is, boys will want to compete with their fathers for their mothers, and girls will want to compete with their mothers for their fathers. Oedipus competition is the beginning for children to show their life strength to the outside world. When children can handle the relationship between competition and cooperation with their parents, their hearts will gradually become tough, their individuality will gradually form, and they will have a good psychological foundation when they participate in more complicated, more real and fierce social competition.

Walk into a strange outside world

Therefore, a healthy life in this world needs a basic feeling: I can walk into a strange external world with a subjective feeling, that is, "I am the master of my own life."