About this book
Through a large number of scenes and cases, the book "Raising Boys" presents us with the methods and skills of respecting words, and combines the psychological needs of boys, satisfies children's wishes through respect, and nourishes children's hearts with respectful language, thus cultivating boys with leadership, independence, responsibility and responsibility. The effect of respect will have a positive impact on children's life, and you will find that the law of respect will bring magical effects to your parent-child relationship.
-About the author-
Author Emerson? Agridge is a famous speaker, psychologist and interpersonal relationship scientist in the field of gender relations and family relations in the United States. He has more than 30 years of clinical consulting experience in the field of family relations, and has held thousands of lectures on "love and respect", helping tens of thousands of families to deal with family relations problems. His other book, Love and Respect, was on the bestseller list in The New York Times.
-The golden sentences in this book-
1. If mothers don't take God's wishes for boys seriously, then their discipline will not be very effective. It is the boy's behavior that is to blame, not the boy himself.
Praising his wisdom can restrain his ignorance.
As the boy grows older, the mother must change from control to persuasion and letting go.
By asking questions, the son will see himself as a problem solver.
She must have absolute sincerity and trust when saying "I respect you".
6. When children encounter failure, "respect-communication" can adjust their self-image and enhance their self-identity and self-confidence.
-the core content-
1. Why is respect more important than love?
Men are naturally sensitive to dignity. If you challenge his dignity and make him feel insulted, it is likely to lead to violence. Sometimes, men value dignity more than life.
What does the boy want most from his mother? Most mothers will say that this is their love. In fact, boys need more respect than love.
What is respect? Respect is to treat a boy as a human being first, and give him a positive evaluation no matter what he does. Because, he won't have love and warmth for a person who he thinks looks down on himself. He will either resist or ignore the person who always attacks him, denies him, belittles him or even insults him, which will only make the child farther and farther away from his mother in his heart.
What experience can respect bring to boys? A mother's respect for a boy teaches a child respect. Children will treat you and others the way you treat them.
Respect can get love, and respect is more important than love.
Second, the six laws of respecting boys
1. Dedication
As parents, we need to provide children with various resources to meet their physical and psychological needs. Oversatisfaction and doting are not respect. We need to cultivate children's ability to delay gratification.
understand
We understand children's emotions, accept children's emotions, see the needs behind children's emotions, and help children try to express their emotions in words.
guide
Guide the child to give full play to his intelligence and be the coach of his life. When children encounter difficulties, parents only provide clues or ideas, rather than directly giving methods, giving children a space for thinking.
4. Supervision and responsibility
It is to cultivate children's ability to recognize and correct mistakes. Every child will avoid problems and make excuses or quibbles for his mistakes. At this time, parents need to exercise the right of punishment, establish rules and cultivate their children's self-discipline spirit.
encourage
Help children actively expand their talents. A child will have self-esteem When he fails, his mother will encourage him to stick to it while affirming his efforts.
pray
I wish children learn to feel the beauty of this world, and at the same time let them feel that they deserve the beauty of this world.
Third, understand the boy's six wishes.
1. conquer
The boy was born dreaming of becoming a hero and conquering the world. A mother should appreciate the child's desire, plant a seed and help him conquer and succeed in the field he is interested in.
2. Level
A man has a protective or weak nature, which makes him strong. Children are born with a sense of morality At first, they will fight for what they think is fairness and power, but as they get older, they will defend the weak.
3. Authority
Authority is leadership. Boys want to be strong, to be leaders and to make decisions.
4. Wisdom
Wisdom is a person's ability to analyze and solve problems. Parents should guide boys' insight, persuasiveness and problem-solving ability, instead of giving answers directly or giving their own suggestions for their children to do.
5. Friendship
Is to establish friendship and develop relationships outside the family. Mothers respect their children's right to choose their friends and do not impose interference.
6. Sex
Adolescent boys will have a hazy affection for the opposite sex and have sexual impulses. Mothers can respect their children's needs instead of treating them as a scourge. The more open the mother is to sex, the less mistakes the child makes in sex.
When a mother treats a boy as a man, she will naturally respect what the child says, how the child handles it, and what the child thinks. The child will return the respect with love.