Bacon once summed up the importance of friendship this way. He said, "When it comes to things like fame, honor, happiness, and wealth, if compared with friendship, they are all dust...".
If we have a few like-minded friends, it may make our boring life more colorful. Like-minded friends are regardless of gender and age.
But careful people will always find that there is always a type of people around us who don’t even have a friend of the opposite sex.
As far as the current society is concerned, it is very normal for male and female friends to have friends, but it is not normal to have few friends of the opposite sex.
There are many modern social channels. Not only can you meet new friends in real life, but you also have the opportunity to meet new friends online and expand your online friends to offline ones. So who has no friends of the opposite sex? What kind of people, they generally have the following five characteristics.
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1. The mentality is not sunny enough
Life will never be smooth sailing. People with a not sunny mentality are generally easily discouraged when encountering setbacks. They don't know how to let go, and will feel depressed when they encounter setbacks, and this low mood can easily affect the friends around them.
In the rules of dating with opposite-sex friends, men like friends of the opposite sex who are cheerful and generous, while women like friends of the opposite sex who are responsible and sunny. People whose mentality is not sunny enough are generally not liked by friends of the opposite sex, so it is normal to have no friends of the opposite sex.
I believe there are 10,000 answers for 10,000 people on how to live in this life. But most people have consciousness and live happily. No one wants to be around a friend who immediately falls into a low point in life because of one thing and cannot get up.
Friends get along more with each other by encouraging each other to make progress, rather than by each other constantly comforting you. This kind of bilateral communication relationship is very hot and very tiring.
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2. Being timid and cowardly at heart
American writer Frank once said, "If you are a coward, you yourself are your biggest enemy; But if you are brave, you yourself are your biggest friend. "
People who are timid and timid usually have weak personalities due to family factors. The main reason for timid and timid people is that they have no friends of the opposite sex. The reason is that most of them have "social phobia".
It is precisely because of sociophobia that they dare not make friends with the opposite sex. Maybe a normal look from the opposite sex will make their palms sweat. Compared with making friends with the opposite sex, they would rather hide at home and entertain themselves alone.
Most people who are timid and timid at heart are kind-hearted, but they suffer from social phobia due to stimulation from external factors. They are usually timid and afraid of getting into trouble, and are willing to retreat rather than show up when encountering the slightest trouble. Some people are even used to accepting things as they come.
Because of one's own cowardice, there are obstacles in communication with others. Because of the obstacles, there are adverse reactions in the interpersonal relationships with people of the opposite sex. Or people are isolated because of their weird personalities or isolate themselves, so they have no friends of the opposite sex. It's normal.
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Three, being slovenly and not paying attention to image
Lu Xun once said, "Dignified clothing is the greatest respect for others." Many people like to say no. Paying attention to appearance and not having inner connotation is the most important virtue of a person. But if you are disheveled and have no image, how can you have the opportunity to show others your core competitiveness - connotation?
Appearance is the best business card for a person when you first meet them. It will make a preliminary judgment for your friends of the opposite sex when they see you for the first time. The first thing others see when they want to get to know you more deeply is your external image. . If you have a poor external image, it will leave a very bad first impression. In psychology, the importance of first impression is self-evident.
Just like Lu Xun’s famous saying, if you don’t pay attention to appearance, you will first disrespect your friends of the opposite sex. If you don’t respect others if your friends are mutual, how can others show respect to you? ? It’s normal to not have the opposite sex.
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Four. Infatuated and dedicated, don’t care about other members of the opposite sex
I don’t know if you have such friends around you. Once they have a girlfriend, they will Delete all the contact information of all your friends of the opposite sex. The purpose of doing this is to reassure your girlfriend, and it also shows that you don’t care about any other friend of the opposite sex except you.
Such infatuated and single-minded people are generally people with relatively simple thinking. They use violent methods to cut off all contact with their friends of the opposite sex. Love is great, but love will not be an obstacle to friendship. If the other person really loves you, it will not prevent you from making friends of the opposite sex within the reasonable scope of interpersonal communication. In the same way, if the person doesn't love you, even if you delete all the opposite sexes in the world, the person will still not choose you.
Don’t go to extremes whether it’s love or friendship. People who like to go to extremes tend to think in black and white. But how can this complex world be explained by just black or white? Therefore, it is normal for such people to have no friends of the opposite sex and it is entirely their own doing.
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Fifth, those who cannot speak and do not understand the art of communication
Generally, people with high emotional intelligence will have many friends because they know how to communicate with different types of people. People communicate well. People who can talk are always lovable, and people who can't talk are always boring.
People who cannot speak and do not understand the art of communication are often outspoken. They will say everything they think and hear. Don't consider the position and face of the people present at all, just feel happy.
When chatting with friends of the opposite sex, you must pay attention to what the other person thinks. Don’t apply your self-righteous ideas to friends of the opposite sex, because men and women think about problems from different angles and methods. If you don't pay attention, it's easy to offend friends of the opposite sex.
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Words at the end of the volume
There is a saying in Huainanzi: "If you act in the same way, you will follow each other thousands of miles away; if you don't act in harmony and tend to be different, you will not be able to communicate with each other." Making friends is the same as making friends of the opposite sex, that is, you must have consistent values ??in order to maintain a long-term relationship.
If you have no friends of the opposite sex, you should first reflect on whether you have a personality disorder. If not, then you should focus on language arts and learn to communicate. Only by improving yourself in communication can you gain recognition from friends of the opposite sex, and thus be able to make more friends of the opposite sex.