And some people are what we often call "chronic". Even if you are anxious, you will not lose heart. Just do it step by step. In this way, the final result is often that you have no regrets and experience has become the wealth of life.
As the saying goes, haste makes waste. The more you are eager to do something or achieve something, the less satisfactory the result will be. Even if I get it, it won't last long.
Especially feelings, need a gradual process. Experience is important, but the result is more important.
Liking a person will make men a little impulsive and have too many beautiful dreams and fantasies, while loving a woman will make men full of long-term ideas.
Therefore, we often say that the test of whether a man really falls in love with a woman depends on whether he has been hot for three minutes, because some men really lose love after the passion and heat subside.
And some men's love is very lasting, will gradually penetrate into every little detail, and will better plan the future with women.
Men are mostly visual animals. Generally speaking, a woman's beautiful appearance will attract men's attention for the first time. In a materialistic society, more and more people begin to pursue "fast-food love", no matter what their inner desires or demands are, they are just for satisfaction and are afraid of wasting time.
However, this kind of quick satisfaction will often make the other party not cherish their own efforts, and even despise their own investment in love, because it is too easy to get, not so precious.
Psychologist Freud said: When two people can meet each other's needs, it is easy to become more intimate.
Some people may think, since meeting each other's needs is so helpful for establishing intimate relationships, why can't we meet at the first time? Isn't it consuming each other's patience to let them wait invisibly?
It is right to meet the demand, but it is not infinite satisfaction. Especially women who are easily influenced by emotions should restrain their impulsive behavior, that is, know how to make better use of "delayed gratification".
Yan Jie has been married to her husband for more than 20 years, and her son will go to college soon. However, they survived the seven-year itch. Now, even if they are old and married, they will not get tired of each other, but love each other more than some young couples.
When chatting with Jason and asking her how to keep her marriage fresh, Jason smiled shyly and said, "What's the secret? I am just a slow learner. Sometimes I usually don't agree with what he wants right away. At first, he still had opinions, but after a long time, I felt very calm. "
Jason's husband is an investor and usually works under great pressure. When he first got married, he hoped Jason would resign, have a baby as soon as possible and take good care of him at home.
After all, the life of a housewife is much more comfortable than running around, but Jason disagrees. She asked her husband to give her a few days to think about it.
A few days later, Jason and her husband had a frank talk. She can't resign. On the one hand, she likes this job very much. On the other hand, she needs a job to embody her values.
The husband respects her choice. Instead of arguing about it, they made Jason's husband respect his wife more. Compared with some wives who always please their husbands in love and marriage, Jason's approach is "textbook style".
Walter Mischel, an American psychologist, said: Delaying gratification means giving up immediate gratification for more valuable long-term results and showing self-control while waiting.
Those happily married women, like Jason, will not be controlled by some tempting desires, because they know that the sooner they satisfy each other, the easier it is to devalue their love.
Delaying meeting each other's needs is also a long-term solution, revealing the wisdom and truth of managing marriage and love. In the relationship between men and women, meeting each other's needs is a manifestation of love, but it should be noted that this satisfaction should be mutual, not one-way pay.
Some people think that the highest state of love is selfless love, giving each other everything they want, which is the greatness of love, but I think the highest state of love is restraint and patience.
Of course, it is not easy to do this, because it is difficult to suppress the needs and desires after they appear.
Therefore, women should understand that if they really want to conquer a man's heart, they should show him your essence and heart, and don't become "cheap labor" because you meet his needs unconditionally.
Such a woman will not be the "only" of a man, let alone the most special one. On the contrary, she will lose her value and become a person that anyone can replace.
The key point of delayed gratification is to keep a good sense of boundary. Psychologists also believe that if there is a sense of boundary in sexual relations, it will bring two people a more comfortable and relaxed feeling.
Some women feel that since they are together, they should be completely transparent and frank, and no secrets are allowed, and they are not allowed to present themselves to each other without reservation.
But it is this mystery that will keep you attractive for a long time. Moreover, even if two people fall in love again, they are independent individuals. They really want to conquer each other, not by control, but by "cooperation" to get the tacit understanding and intimacy between each other and themselves.
After women learn to delay satisfaction, they will have more time to think carefully, to understand what they really want, to what extent they want to achieve, and to have enough time to improve themselves.
Delaying satisfaction will also win the other party's respect for women, because avoiding unprincipled catering, women can more clearly perceive the other party's real needs. If they are good to him, they must be "good" to that extent, so that they can move his heart more.
Therefore, as a woman, learning to "pull away" everything may yield unexpected fruits of love.