A: (looking around) Wow-so striking! Disciple, what is this place?
B: Master, it's been several years since you left Dongtu Datang. Why are you still like this? It's just a stone mountain. What is there to see? Say you are a water turtle, but you are afraid that Sister Furong-Oh, no, no-Sister Guanyin will scold me. Finding a stone on this mountain is smarter than you! Besides bringing us endless troubles, please learn something else
A: Shit! I just expressed my feelings casually, and you are such a mother-in-law, complaining and nagging. Do you want to hang out? (He said, while playing.
B: No, no, everyone came out to work for Guanyin. Why?
A: Work? You must make yourself famous at work. Let me talk about you. When you and Bajie went to Guanyin's sister to apply for a job, they asked you what 1+ 1 was? The pig said it was equal to 2, and sister Guanyin answered "stupid, but cute", and you answered "how many does sister Guanyin say", laughing like a lotus flower ... Great, I applied for you.
Come on, do you have to look like you? If I looked like you, I wouldn't invite you to meet my net friend today. Hey, do you think this rich woman named "beauty mole all over her face" will come?
Tell me how you chatted with her online.
First, introduce yourself.
A: Name,
B: Awesome,
A: It hurts me to death.
A: Blood type,
B: XO, personal homepage: Bill Gates is making it for me.
Cattle, even the richest people in the world are working for you.
B: Here are my notes: 1. I am a non-professional chat person, I don't take the initiative to say hello or find a topic, but that doesn't mean you can cheat my precious time with vulgar topics. In other words, the topic I am talking about should at least have the typical characteristics of the perfect combination of medieval retro sentiment and post-futurism.
A: I can't see that you are quite elegant.
B: Two. You have the right to interrupt the conversation at any time and put yourself on a stranger or blacklist. Of course, I have the same right. But if you are really stupid enough to do that, I feel deeply sorry for you. Because you missed a precious opportunity to chat with the best, best and most handsome young people in the world. You know, such an opportunity is even more rare than Haley's comet hitting the earth.
A: You are a little too wet.
It is your supreme honor to chat with me. Please don't chat with others while chatting with me.
A: That's true. Now some people don't even have this basic courtesy.
B: Four. I'm used to using eighteen languages, such as Chinese, English, French, German, Russian, Japanese and Korean, in turn in chatting. If you can't understand my reply within ten seconds, please take the initiative to log out. Thank you for your cooperation.
A: Is there anyone else talking to you?
B: Five. If nothing unexpected happens, I believe you will be conquered by my personality charm if you can't say three and a half words to me.
A: I can't read three and a half sentences.
I suddenly have an impulse to write me a love letter. I advise you to save it.
A: What's the matter?
B: My 108 mailbox is full of love letters written by beautiful women. There is no room for you.
Oh, I see.
B: Six. Because I am handsome enough to kill people, I don't usually video chat with people. If you don't listen to dissuasion, you must challenge your psychological endurance at your own risk (friendly reminder: please buy a large personal accident insurance for yourself before opening the video).
A: That's really mysterious.
B: Finally, if you are lucky enough to be my chat friend, congratulations, you will soon become a world celebrity. Please keep my chat records, string them together, and then sign your name. You may become a Nobel Prize in Literature winner at any time.
A: Disciple, I really don't see that you have seen through the modern people's thought of quick success and instant benefit.
B: Yes, look at these recently published books, such as Big Breasts and Fat Buttocks, Shout for Pleasure, Save Breasts and Hungry Young Women. ...
Listen to the name of this book.
B: Master, I'm really hungry. Who do you think should go to Lent today?
A: (fingering) Is it Bajie's turn?
He's just not feeling well these two days.
A: (faint
B: Master, you misunderstood. Bajie took too many diet pills these two days, and his androgen decreased and his pig hair disappeared, so he-
Well, you'd better go
B: I'm not sure. What should I do if I go?
Didn't you ask me to see you instead of you?
B: Master, I have to make it clear that we should meet as soon as we meet, and don't start work.
Are you kidding me? I haven't seen any beautiful women or fairies.
B: That's good. (saying, take something out of me)
What is this?
B: This is the "Dazhong Pit" power grid, which is easy to operate and learn. Everyone who touches this power grid will not fall into it.
Is it so amazing?
B: In order to ensure your life safety, I will cover you with this power grid. This is the secret order to turn on the power grid, "Emperor Beggar Hudi, River Demon in Baota Town", remember.
Are you tired? Let's leave now.
B: I'm leaving now!
A: (Holding up the power grid, looking left and right, "Emperor Gaihu Land, River Demon in Baota Town"): Hey, it's open! There are legendary games in it? (Click again) Hey, there are QQ chat rooms? Fun, really fun, (say to concentrate on playing).
(At this time, "a face of beauty moles" came)
Hey-isn't this the Tang Priest? I have been waiting for him for thousands of years. Is he just "handsome in pain" Find you! Little gg-
A: Amitabha.
B: GG, don't do this, even if it's 4- a face full of beauty moles.
Oh, hello. Hello.
B: (Reaching forward and reaching out to Tang Priest)
A: Don't move! Women nowadays are really powerful. They can't wait without saying anything. They are not as good as the goblins before. People at least spend some time casting spells or something.
B: GG, you misunderstood. I want to wipe your saliva.
A: Go, you are not a woman!
B: A woman? Hahaha, I am a demon ... I am a woman. ...
I see, you can be a super girl. You are much better than the cardinal. You can run naked on Intel. You are much better than Sister Furong. ...
You have a good eye. To tell you the truth, what I said to you earlier was empty talk. I used to be very rich, but Pu Songling, a writer who wrote serial novels, forced me to marry a poor scholar, and ended up bankrupt and down and out all my life. ouch ...
A: MM, don't be sad, regroup the mountains and rivers and wait for the rear. It is important for this woman to get married. You see, many goblins are clamoring to marry Tang Priest.
B: (to himself) I'm one of them.
A: It's a blessing that all of them were rejected by Lao Tang. You see, now I understand, crying and clamoring to marry Zhu Bajie. If a woman doesn't even have love, what's the use of immortality?
B: Little GG has a point. Now I won't eat the Tang Priest even if he stands in front of me.
What do you see?
Hey hey, peeled potatoes or potatoes. I saw it the first time I saw you!
A: (lifting the power grid) Take that!
B: Sample, is this power grid a mass grave brand?
How did you know? Emperor Gehudi
B: River Demon in Baota Town-I made this power grid.
A: Huh?
Your trick doesn't work for me. I tell you, a handsome guy like you is not popular now, and I won't eat you. You'd better bring me the Buddhist scriptures.
A: I have experienced a lot. What do you want?
I want to be a celebrity.
A: Why?
B: Look, things used by celebrities are called "cultural relics"; What mortals have used is regarded as "waste". Celebrity alcoholism is called "binge drinking"; Ordinary people drink more, which is called "gluttony". Celebrities who are slightly older are called "X Lao"; No matter how old a mortal is, it is also called "old X". Celebrities shake hands with mortals, calling it "kindness"; Shaking hands with celebrities is called "buttering up". Celebrities argue "eloquence"; Mortals argue as "sophistry". Celebrities who do stupid things are called "anecdotes", which are passed down as anecdotes; When people do something wrong, they are called "stupid" and laughed at. Celebrities' untidiness is called "artistic temperament"; Ordinary people who are untidy are called "sloppy". Celebrities lose their temper and call it "personality"; Ordinary people lose their temper and are called "bad roots". The nonsense of celebrities is called "famous sayings"; What mortals say cautiously is called "nonsense". Celebrities' empty talk is called "guidance"; The truth of mortals is called "nagging"
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magnum opus
The five senses strive for the upper reaches, looking for uncles, heroes' little eight roads, mountain climbing heroes' praises, portraits, new peach blossoms, female captains, stories of Bai Xian, stage storms, etc.
collect
New polite idioms in tooth extraction
Spread the wind and brag, call him a mountain hero and praise him.
The children in the multi-storey hotel praised each other, but both brothers were good anyway.
Marry who? Portraits of bears and elephants are polite.
The art of crying, labor, music for all ages, music for all ages.
On politeness, teasing and the beauty of selling cloth ends
The punch line is amazing, and the female captain clings to her relatives in court.
Ask the doctor to tongue twister 3-0.
The four-character song dynasty is full of brilliance around foreign military camps.
On the Modesty Plays of Wang Jinlong and Zhu Yingtai.
New geographical map, New Peach Blossom Garden, research on drama criticism, research on Yue Opera.
Disciple, a salesman, a servant and two heroes.
Guerrilla hero friendship praise needle recruitment
Finding an uncle and finding a hall will gradually upgrade and install a small mouth.
Specific works and their collaborators
Ma Ji-style praise
Ma Ji, Feng Gong, Wei Liu, Zhao Yan and so on. , "five senses strive for merit"
Ma Qiru, "Please call a doctor."
Ma Qiru's Call
Spring Festival couplets between Ma Ji and Guo Qiru
Ma Ji and Guo Qiru's Wang Jinlong and Zhu Yingtai
Ma Quanbao's Selling Cloth Head
The "amazing punch line" of Maggie's full insurance
Majiguo is fully guaranteed as the "female captain"
Ma Ji Guo Quanbao is surrounded by colorful barracks.
Maggie fruit is fully insured.
Ma Yan Xiaolin sent Spring Festival couplets to Dashan.
The horse is uncompromising in Mandarin.
Horse tooth extraction
Liu Baorui, Ma Ji, have a meeting with the church.
Ma Wei's ballads
After the horse, he became rich.
Ma Ji, Liu Wei, Jiang Kun, Zhao Yan.
Ma Liuji Lao Wei Xiaole
Ma Ji and White are in the sky.
Maji, Tang Jiezhong and Peking are the best.
Ma Tang Ji Zhongjie is polite.
New Idioms of Ma Ji and Tang Jiezhong
Mazhongjie multi-storey hotel
Maji Rainbow on the Tang Jiezhong Plateau
Ma Tang Ji Zhongjie is polite.
Ma Tang Ji Zhongjie quit smoking.
Ma Tang Ji Zhongjie saves lives.
Laomajia, Tang Jiezhong, Ma Ji
Polite expressions in Ma Ji and Tang Jiezhong
Ma Tang Ji Zhong Jiemei
Ma Ji and Tang Jiezhong are poetic.
On the Plays of Ma Ji and Tang Jiezhong
New geographical map of Tang Jiezhong, Ma Ji.
Maxin Taohuayuan
Ma Xue Yue Opera.
Ode to Friendship in Tang Jiezhong, Ma Ji
Ma Ji Tang Zhong Jie is looking for his uncle.
Ma Ji in Tang Jiezhong has been gradually upgraded.
A mountaineering hero who praises horses
Ma is Yu Ji You Shi anyway.
Ma Yuji You is a good brother.
Who did Ma Ji marry?
Ma Yuji You's bear elephant.
Portrait of a horse
The Crying Art of Maji in The Garden of Poetry
Ma labor haozi
Ma Yuji Youshi 3-0.
Ma Ji is in a foreign country.
Ma Yuji You studied drama evaluation.
Maji yushiyi steet
Hero Xiaoba Road, Yu Shiyou, Ma Ji
Mayo's guerrilla hero
Mother Yu Ji You Shi has a small mouth.
Maji Yuzhou brand cigarettes
Ma Ji and Zhao Shizhong are teasing.
Tongue twister in horse time
The scandal between Ma Ji and Zhao Shizhong.
Ma Zhao Ji Yan Bai chui tu
Ma Xiangyan boasted
Ma Zhaoyan sneezed.
Ma is full of praise for Yan's children.
Ma Kun Liu Feng Wei Gong Li Zengrui Han Lancheng Xiao Linchang Ye Pei Yao Xinguang and other styles praised.
The function of Ma Yan crying
Ma Zhao Ji Yan Xiao Lao Le
The horse was brought to court.
Ma is a relative of Yan.
Merry ma tongue twister
Ma Yanshi HKUST Trainee
Ma Yan is uncompromising.
Ma Yan's four-character song
Zhao Yan's special disease in Maji
Ma Yan, Wei Liu, Feng Gong,,,, and the five senses are modest.
Ma Jinbao is a servant and two masters.
On Zhao Yan's Drama in Ma Ji
New geographical map of Zhao Yan, Ma Ji.
Ma Ji Zhao Yan industry terminology
Maji Zhao Yan Xingfutun
A gust of wind blew from Zhao Yan in Ma Ji.
Ma Ji Zhao Yan Recruitment
Ma Yan and other five senses strive for the top.
Ma Ji, Guo Qiru called.