The term emotional intelligence was proposed as a psychological concept.

In 1990, two American psychologists, Peter Selaway and John Meyer, first proposed the concept of emotional intelligence. Since then, the term emotional intelligence has set off a revolution in human intelligence around the world and caused protracted discussions. In October 1995, Daniel Goleman, a columnist for the New York Times, published the book "Emotional IQ" to convey the theory of emotional IQ to the public. This book soon became a bestseller around the world.

Americans believe that in the fierce modern competition, the level of emotional intelligence has become a crucial link. Former US President Bush is a guy with extremely high emotional intelligence. He has a famous saying: "If you can mobilize your mood, you can mobilize everything!"

So, what exactly is emotional intelligence? Why is it so powerful?

The English word for emotional intelligence is Emotional Quotient. If directly translated, it means state of mind wisdom. But such an answer is obviously too simple and cannot satisfy our thirst for knowledge.

To understand EQ more deeply, it is necessary to understand the relationship between EQ and IQ, because to some extent, the concept of EQ is proposed as the opposite of IQ.

So, before we know emotional intelligence, let’s first look at IQ.

Before emotional intelligence was proposed, IQ was the primary indicator of a person’s ability. We all know that Einstein's IQ was very high, which is why he became a world-famous scientist. In the nearly a hundred years since Einstein, researchers have devised a variety of IQ testing methods in the hope of cultivating another Einstein.

During the research process, hundreds of millions of people underwent various tests. Although the scale of the research is so large and it takes so long, many people still raise questions: Are people with high IQs really more capable than ordinary people?

In other words, can we achieve outstanding results as long as we have natural intelligence?

After all, numerous examples and experiments have proven that people with high IQs do not necessarily succeed. In other words, there is no certain relationship between the level of intelligence quotient and a person's performance.

In our country, there have always been cases of child prodigies. The so-called prodigies are those children with particularly high IQs. Their intelligence seems to develop very quickly, their academic performance is always far ahead, and they even entered college at a very young age.

Young college students were once eagerly desired by Chinese parents.

The United States also has "prodigies" and is also keen on cultivating "prodigies". In the early years, there was a man named William Binder. When he was just born, his father used various means to develop his intelligence. When he was 3 years old, he could read and write freely in his own language. At the age of 4, he wrote 3 articles. 500-word article, I wrote an anatomy paper at the age of 6. On the morning of the day he entered elementary school, he was assigned to first grade. A month later, when his mother picked him up again, he was already a third-grade student.

That’s not all. Binder went to middle school at the age of 8 and entered college at the age of 11. When everyone thought that Binder's brain was smart enough and his IQ was not low, his future effects would be limitless. But what surprised everyone was that after graduating from Binder University, there was no special performance. Instead, because he entered the workplace too early and did not know how to get along with others, he was made things difficult and ostracized by his colleagues. Later, he ran away from home and worked as a clerk in a store, remaining incompetent throughout his life.

There are countless such examples. In ancient China, there were also stories about hurting Zhongyong. You were smart when you were young, but when you are old, you will eventually disappear from the world. Most of the so-called prodigies are fleeting.

At the same time, people with high IQs will also do wrong things, do bad things, and even break the law. For example, the incident of Liu Haiyang, a top student at Tsinghua University, throwing a bear. Many students from prestigious universities committed suicide by jumping off the building due to various pressures. They angrily hacked their classmates to death over trivial matters? Too many words and deeds of the proud students shocked people.

Are these students not smart? Don't know how to deal with the problem?

In fact, the root of the problem is not their IQ, but that they do not know how to control their own moods and adjust their psychological conditions, so when faced with various problems and dilemmas, they choose the most extreme solution practices.

As the myths of high IQ are shattered one by one, people can’t help but become confused: Why do people with high IQs fail and why do they break the law? Aren’t they supposed to be the smartest among human beings and the most deserving of success?

Emotional intelligence came into being when people began to doubt IQ. Non-intellectual factors such as mood and emotion were not taken seriously in the field of psychology at first, but later they became the focus of psychological research.

Research on self-control and how to face setbacks in life has unveiled the mystery of emotional intelligence for us.

On the basis of traditional intelligence, people proposed emotional intelligence quotient, which is a subversive breakthrough. Emotional intelligence involves people's stability, gregariousness, excitement, perseverance, daring, sensitivity, doubtfulness, fantasy, sophistication, worry, independence, self-discipline, anxiety, etc. It is an important influence on life. Discover inner strength.

In this way, emotional intelligence has entered people's field of vision. People's research on emotional intelligence is like opening up the treasure house of the human body.

People have discovered that all the tragedies of those with high IQs can be avoided. Perhaps they can achieve better results in the future, but because of their low emotional intelligence, deplorable things eventually happen.

Emotional intelligence is closely related to each of our lives and work. A person with high emotional intelligence is likely to be successful at work, happy in marriage, and able to communicate easily with others?

Recognize the implication, Learn to watch your words

Chinese people don’t like to be straightforward when speaking, but like to use roundabout ways. Sometimes they say the exact opposite, and sometimes it sounds like they care about you, but in fact they are criticizing you tactfully. This is really a great test for a person's emotional intelligence.

In social interactions, people often evaluate a person as “not being able to understand other people’s words,” “not being able to observe people’s words,” or “having no eyesight.” No matter what kind of comments, they are all talking about this person. Emotional intelligence is too low. A person who does not know how to "recognize the subtext" will not recognize where he went wrong no matter what, even if he makes a big mistake.

In the Qing Dynasty, a county magistrate was assigned to Shandong Province and met with the Fu army for the first time. According to convention, when subordinates come to see their superiors, they must wear python robes to patch up their uniforms, even in the hottest summer. Nine pythons are not equal. The supplement is a plug-in added to the python robe). Since it was a hot summer day, the magistrate was sweating profusely as soon as he sat down in Fujun's hall. He couldn't bear it anymore, so he picked up the round fan he carried with him and waved it wildly. Fujun thought he couldn't stand the heat, so he said, "You are so afraid of the heat, why don't you take off the plug-in?"

The county magistrate said, "Yes, yes." So he asked his servant to help him Removed the plug-in. After a moment, Fu Jun continued to wave his fan as before, and said with a smile: "Why don't you take off your belted robe?" Fu Jun's implication was that he was blaming the county magistrate for fanning himself in front of him. The unfortunate magistrate said as usual: "Yes, yes." So he left his seat and took off his robe one by one. Returning to his seat, the magistrate was minding his own business, chatting and laughing in front of Fu Jun. He unconsciously switched the fan to his right hand, and then from his right hand to his left hand. He kept switching and fanning, making the fan rustle loudly. Fu Jun was angry at his presumption, so he squinted his eyes and teased him with irony: "Why don't you take off your shirt too? It will be cooler that way." The magistrate responded and took off his shirt. Seeing how ignorant and rude he was, Fu Jun immediately held up his hands and said, "Please tea." Fu Jun's attendants immediately called "see off".

Due to the adaptation of the officialdom in the Qing Dynasty, subordinates met with their superiors. The superiors were unwilling to continue the conversation, so they signaled by "please tea". As soon as the tea bowl is served, the waiter shouts "See you off". At this time, the guest must leave immediately. When the county magistrate heard "seeing off guests", he had no idea in a hurry and had no time to put on his clothes. He hurriedly took a hat and put it on his head. He held his robe under his left arm, hung a rosary on his right elbow, carried his short coat, and staggered out, as if Appearing as a clown in the drama. The officials and servants in the Fujun Department were giggling so hard that they couldn't stand upright. The county magistrate had just returned to the mansion, and Fu Jun's notice board instructing him to return to his hometown to study was now hung high outside the gate.

The reason why the magistrate ended up like this is that he was "foolish" and could not accurately understand the speaker's true purpose. This is a lack of ability to identify others' moods and a reflection of low emotional intelligence. Some people say that the county magistrate cannot understand other people's meaning because he is "stupid", so can being "smart" save the life of such a person?

Yang Xiu, a famous talent during the Three Kingdoms period, was the chief secretary of Cao Ying. , he is a famous official with quick thinking and a famous talent who dared to offend Cao Cao. It was precisely because of Yang Xiu's arrogance that he violated Cao Cao's taboos several times, and was finally killed by Cao Cao for any reason. Later generations wrote a poem praising Yang Xiu, in which there are two sentences: "The cause of death was wrong, not related to the desire to retreat." This is very important to Yang Xiuzhi.

Yang Xiu’s death stemmed from his “smartness”.

Yang Xiu’s IQ is indeed very high, and it is not an exaggeration to say that he is highly talented, but it is also true that his emotional intelligence is low.

It was precisely because his IQ was too high and his EQ was too low that it ultimately cost him his life.

Some people think that Yang Xiu is "clever but mistaken for cleverness". In fact, Yang Xiu's intelligence is not really smart, because really smart people know how to grasp the psychology of others and protect their own interests.