You are anxious because you want something. When you realize that you may lose something, you will feel anxious.
Health anxiety or worry is caused by realistic or rational fear, which comes from your observation of things;
unhealthy anxiety comes from unrealistic and unreasonable speculation, which expands the unlikely small probability events into the normal state;
Based on the actual situation and the probability of occurrence, we should avoid exaggerating the facts and generalizing everything, and avoid looking at things in black and white;
You will always have different levels of anxiety-you are not sure whether this choice or decision at this moment is closer to the goal or farther away;
There is a significant difference between moderate worry and extreme worry or anxiety.
When unpleasant events occur, negative emotions such as disappointment and depression will be generated, which is a healthy performance;
these unpleasant emotions such as disappointment and depression are called healthy or beneficial emotions in rational emotional behavior therapy (REBT).
Rational emotional behavior therapy consists of cognitive, emotional and behavioral therapies.
anxiety originates from an absolutely necessary requirement or command: unconditional should, obligation or necessity, which mainly exists in the following three types: necessary belief for myself, necessary belief for others, and necessary belief for the objective world and environmental conditions;
to control anxiety, first, we must find the necessary beliefs, then start to debate with them, and finally turn them into feasible beliefs with selective expectations;
There are three feasible ways to debate irrational beliefs: realistic or empirical debate, logical debate, practical and pragmatic debate;
While you make this visual connection, you can look at the irrational beliefs that cause anxiety. Positive imagination plus refutation with irrational beliefs can greatly reduce your anxiety.
Imitating those who don't feel anxious in the same situation can effectively control your anxiety;
Cost-benefit analysis method makes you focus on the focus problem and prevents you from focusing only on the pleasure of this harmful hobby;
Try to learn the principles of rational emotional behavior therapy. When these principles are deeply rooted in your mind, you will become better at using these principles to alleviate your anxiety.
anxiety and worry stem from concentration and addiction to something;
One of the main causes of anxiety is your misunderstanding or exaggeration of unfortunate events in emotional distress factors;
The less you ask for a solution, the more leisurely you can look for potential solutions.
Self-acceptance of existentialism depends on whether you live in this world, whether you are human, and whether you are unique.
unconditional acceptance of oneself includes complete acceptance of oneself and admitting and trying to change one's defects, faults and mistakes. Accepting others unconditionally is basically the same as this concept, except that it applies to others, including those you don't like and are not good to you. Simply put, accepting others unconditionally means accepting sinners but not sins;
Try your best to change what you want. If you can't, accept it with grace.
The goal of rational emotional behavior therapy is: not to change your desires and desires, but to persuade you not to have that absolute and necessary belief, whether it is for yourself, others or the world;
When you feel anxious, you are often ashamed of what you might do, are doing or have done, and you think it is wrong, wrong, stupid or inappropriate.
Shame is the main source of anxiety in the past, present and future. Shame is always accompanied by self-abasement, which will cause many persistent worries;
Find rational beliefs and debate them until you are sure that you really have such rational beliefs and that these rational beliefs are really effective;
By distracting yourself with humor, you will reduce that exaggerated belief and learn to accept the weakness of human nature.
The most important treatment in behavioral therapy is realistic desensitization or exposure therapy.
The correct way to deal with anxiety is to adapt to these situations rather than stay away from them;
In the process of rational emotional behavior therapy, motivation is usually used as an auxiliary method to control anxiety with some other thought, emotion and behavior therapies.
Some anxiety, especially panic, is probably caused by physical and psychological reasons;
People's anxiety or stress problems show their different attitudes, and these attitudes also determine the degree of stress they may bear. What attitude you choose determines the degree of stress you are likely to bear.
We can deal with it like this:
First, we should look for irrational beliefs that lead to these anxiety feelings and try to change them, so as to alleviate the anxiety feelings;
Then, use all kinds of thinking, feeling and behavior therapies in this book to argue with irrational beliefs for half a month;
If the above methods have no obvious effect, it is necessary to consider whether it is due to biological reaction, and see if close relatives also have emotional problems. Anxiety sensitivity is usually related to genetics or physical diseases, which requires you to see a doctor.
№.22 Biology and drug therapy & Changing Attitude
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Biology and Drug Therapy
Rational Emotional Behavioral Therapy advocates constructivism and thinks that most of the anxiety is caused by human beings themselves. We can rebuild some cognition, emotion and behavior through our own efforts. But in fact, people are born with a characteristic of being easily influenced, teachable and dominated.
anxiety is caused by many physiological and social factors, so it can be treated by many material and mental methods. Recently, scientists have done a lot of research on the brain, central nervous system and biological response function, and they have found many physiological factors that affect anxiety: when you feel dangerous or difficult, the amygdala in the brain will send a signal to the prefrontal cortex, and the prefrontal cortex will also feed back worrying information to the amygdala. In this way, many functions in your body will participate in various biological reaction networks. As Edward Hallowell pointed out, "worry seems to inherit the fragility of the nervous system, and anything in life may trigger this kind of worry."
Strong emotions can damage your brain and even your immune system, which may cause short-term or long-term functional problems, which in turn will worsen your emotional response. This dysfunction may go on endlessly.
Therefore, some anxiety feelings, especially panic feelings, are probably caused by physical and psychological reasons, and we can deal with them as follows:
First, look for irrational beliefs that lead to these anxiety feelings and try to change them, so as to alleviate anxiety feelings;
Then, use all kinds of thinking, feeling and behavior therapies in this book to argue with irrational beliefs for half a month;
If the above methods have no obvious effect, it is necessary to consider whether it is due to biological reaction, and see if close relatives also have emotional problems. Anxiety sensitivity is usually related to genetics or physical diseases, which requires you to see a doctor.
If self-help methods and medication can't greatly relieve your anxiety, it is likely that you have pathological anxiety. Pathological anxiety refers to a persistent feeling of nervousness without specific reasons, or a sense of impending disaster, threat or catastrophe without realistic basis, accompanied by obvious autonomic nervous dysfunction and exercise anxiety, often accompanied by subjective pain or impaired social function. In this case, you must go to a professional psychologist for psychotherapy.
change your attitude
Kevin Everett Fitzmaurice's "It all depends on your attitude! The book says that people's anxiety or stress problems show their different attitudes, and these attitudes also determine the size of the pressure they will bear. What attitude you choose determines the degree of pressure you will bear.
When you deal with the stressors in the surrounding environment, or the conflicting or indecisive thoughts that will touch your thoughts, feelings and behaviors, you can choose the following five attitudes to deal with them:
1. Accept-when you are sure that you can't change those undesirable situations, accept them, and don't make yourself uneasy because you can't change something.
2. seeking-longing for and seeking for better choices, expectations and goals. Let yourself always have a way to go and not be in a desperate situation.
3. Expectation-choose what you like, but you should also know what you want to accept or adapt to.
4. It's best to know what is best for you and others, and try to achieve this most suitable situation, but don't make any demands.
5. absolutely should and must-know what is most suitable for you and others, and you can choose the attitude of necessity to motivate and stimulate yourself. If I want to be admitted to this university, I must be as diligent as the teacher says.
Minimize what is necessary, should, should, importune and some irrational beliefs arising from it;
the probability of catastrophic events is always very small;
I can try to be perfect, but I definitely don't have to be perfect;
cultivate friendship and develop intimate relationships, which will give me support and help many times;
Physical condition will affect mood, so it is very important to keep healthy.
change what can be changed, and then convince yourself to accept what cannot be changed;
When you make a mistake, admit your mistake instead of belittling yourself, learn from it and avoid making it again.