Lesson sharing on the second day

Review + supplement serve as a link between the previous and the following. After the child's problems are the problems of the parent-child relationship, and after the problems of the parent-child relationship are the problems of the intimate relationship and the couple's relationship. The issue of the relationship between husband and wife is followed by the issue of personal learning and growth. 90% of problems stem from a lack of necessary mentality and abilities. 8% of the problems are not accepting yourself and your parents. This can be done by using the "accept yourself method" and "accept your parents method". Repeated patterns have roots and can be reshaped from childhood - the reshaping imprint method.

Now I have summarized eight knowledge points.

1. The 12 steps to systematically solve life problems

Five elements:

1. Establish self-awareness: To understand who am I? What is suitable for me and what is not suitable for me? Don’t live for “should”, but learn more about your own interests, strengths, and characteristics during exploration. Slowly you will become clear about what you really want.

2. Choose the right role model: Look more at your interests, hobbies, strengths and characteristics. Which role models are you similar to? Who are you in the same category? Who do you want to live more like, you will know clearly who your role model is.

3. Clear dreams: That is, when you have established self-awareness, have role models, and know what you want? What kind of person do you want to be? What kind of life do you want to live? Your dreams will become clear.

4. Plan the path: First find a role model. If you want to achieve your goal, how should you do it? Make a plan first. You can also ask five questions and follow two paths.

5. Find a guide: Find an experienced guide who is willing to support you in the direction you want to go (improve your mentality and abilities, solve problems, achieve goals, and realize your dreams), maybe your life Mentors, life coaches, expert consultants, consultants, family counselors, etc. Ask such people to guide you, accompany you, support you, and gradually realize your goals and dreams. With a guide, you will not get lost easily, and you will be more likely to succeed. and happiness.

Happiness, seven mental states and abilities necessary for life.

6. Cultivate a mentality of being responsible for yourself: let go of the "should" and entrustment mentality, take responsibility for what you want, learn from role models, improve your abilities, solve the problems you encounter, and achieve your own goals. goals, realize your dreams.

7. Improve your emotional management ability: Be the master of your emotions and let your emotions help you succeed, instead of hindering you from living a relaxed, satisfying, successful and happy life. After your emotional management ability is improved, you can also guide The emotions of others allow you to become a person who brings positive energy to others. Such a person will gain support from more people. You can usually use "conscious communication", "Five Questions of Sobriety", etc.

8. Improve the mentality and ability of effective communication: If you want others to know you, accept you, understand you, like you, and be willing to cooperate with you to win, you must have the mentality of effective communication. and ability, so that more people are willing to get close to you and support you, so that it will be easier to live a relaxed, satisfied, successful and happy life. You can use "sandwich response", "EQ type communication", "non-violent communication", "first "Take after" and other methods.

9. Improve the ability of systems thinking: being able to look at things from a global perspective, looking at the present from the future, looking at problems from multiple angles, and solving problems strategically. This is the ability of many successful people to work efficiently and solve problems. To strengthen important factors, you can use methods such as "Seven Steps to Success" and "Six Levels of Understanding".

10. Improve the good mentality and ability to deal with adversity: that is to say, improve the ability of "adversity quotient", there is no setback, only feedback information, be able to persist in the face of adversity, and constantly adjust the mentality and approach , actively think of ways to solve problems, and constantly improve yourself. This kind of mentality and ability can ensure that you will succeed in the end and enjoy the process of doing it. You can use methods such as "Five Sober Questions", "Sandwich Response", "Non-Violent Communication", "EQ-type Communication", "Follow first and then lead", and "Gradual withdrawal method".

11. Improve the mentality and ability of independent learning: be clear about what you want, be clear about your dreams, choose the right role model, find a guide, and plan the path.

12. Improve the ability to effectively survive in a group: your identity positioning must be accurate, and let go of the should and trust mentality. You can use love languages ??such as "sandwich response", or you can use the eight-character motto: "Rigorous professionalism, humility and respect."

2. The Pyramid of Life - Understanding the Six Levels.

The identity positioning must be accurate. The past is a resource (Dai's famous saying: Come good, everything is a resource). Be able to look at things from the overall situation, look at the present from the future, and look at the problem from multiple angles. There must be a solution. mentality.

3. Stack up and cut down

Stack up to find meaning and value, cut down to increase choices.

4. Six basic abilities of emotion.

1. Awareness: You can set an alarm clock, or you can "awake five questions" to know what you are doing?

2. Understanding: the positive meaning behind the emotion. Anger gives me the power to change things that are not in line with what I should be doing. Anxiety is all about fear.

3. Application power: There is no good or bad emotion, right or wrong. Negative emotions can be transformed into positive emotions.

4. Escape power: jump out of emotions, look at the present from the future, and look at things from the overall perspective.

5. Concentration: Stop, don’t move, and feel your breathing and your feelings together.

6. Expressiveness to express your true inner feelings, you can use non-violent communication (telling facts, feelings, needs, making requests)

5. Emotional management

Emotion: The state of our inner feelings expressed through our bodies.

Stress: We think things require more ability than we say we have.

It explains how to use the "Happy Core" device to test your own emotional state. You should look at the other person's needs from the other person's perspective and be aware of the seven levels of emotions and stress.

Level 1: Is your body relaxed?

Level 2: Is the breathing slow and deep?

Level 3: Can you calm down and feel the ups and downs of your emotions?

Level 4: Can you be aware of the motivation behind the emotion (inner experience)?

Level 5: Can you be aware of the expectations behind the emotion?

Level 6: Whether you can detect the inner needs behind the emotions.

Level 7: Can I be aware of who I am behind the emotions?

6. An effective way to deal with other people’s emotions - EQ communication.

1. Acceptance: (When the other person is emotional) You seem to be a little emotional (anger, anxiety, etc.). Can we talk about it sometime? (Don’t judge the other person, don’t fight, don’t deny, just care about the other person’s feelings)

2. Share: Talk about emotions first, then deal with things. Your body feels... you What is the inner feeling... How have we ever felt when we encountered such a thing? Do you feel this way? (Guide the other party to talk more about inner experiences and physical feelings, and less about right and wrong)

3. Affirmation and setting examples: Affirm the parts that can be understood and accepted (needs, positive motivations), and find that it is ineffective. part to make changes.

4. Plan for the future: *** discuss ways to solve problems together to meet needs more effectively and achieve positive motivations.

7. Follow first and then lead

Three no’s principles: no denial, no criticism, no confrontation

Give affirmation: use the language of approval and let the other party speak "Yes"

Find out the positive motivations (value needs) behind the behavior

Guide them to find more choices and lead them to the most win-win direction of cooperation

8. Gradual withdrawal method - the experience of getting rid of force