Trying to explain, not only didn't get others' understanding, but also upset myself and felt wronged. There are thousands of things in the world, but none can match your loyalty to yourself. As we grow older, we will finally understand that the world belongs to us and has nothing to do with others.
Because deliberate excuses will not push things in the direction that is beneficial to them, but will make the facts more and more blurred because of their own excuses, and the best way to deal with this state is: silence is golden.
Zhuangzi said: "The husband is not balanced, does not argue, is ruthless, sincere and brave." .
This means: the supreme truth needs no praise, the greatest argument goes without saying that the kindest person does not need to show kindness to others, the most honest and upright person does not need to show humility, and the bravest person never hurts others.
To put it simply, people who are really good at self-defense don't express themselves much, but knock each other down without saying a word.
In 280 AD, Wang Zhuo, a famous Western Jin Dynasty soldier, led an army to attack the State of Wu and skillfully defeated Wu Jun with chains, thus ending the tripartite confrontation between the three countries. Wang Zhuo contributed a lot. When he was ready to return to Beijing to get the credit, he didn't expect to be slandered by the villains. General Anton Wang Hun demanded punishment for Wang Zhuo's disobedience. Later, he framed Wang Zhuo's invasion of Jiankang and urged his subordinates.
This slander made Wang Zhuo, who had made outstanding achievements, very afraid. There are countless examples of heroes being killed in history. Reminiscent of that year, Liu Chan viceroy Wargo was killed by slanderers on the day of victory. Wang Zhuo was afraid of repeating the mistakes of Wargo, so he repeatedly stated the battlefield situation and defended his grievances.
Sima Yan, Emperor Wu of Jin Dynasty, did not cure him of his crimes after he returned to China, but set things right and rewarded him for his achievements.
However, Wang Zhuo was very dissatisfied. Whenever he thinks he has made great contributions, he is framed by the powerful minister and almost dies. He felt wronged.
Therefore, every time he met Emperor Wu of Jin, he repeatedly stated his hardships in the battle against Wu and his grief and indignation at being wronged. Sometimes he even said angry words and angered the emperor.
Wang Zhuo's relatives Fan Tong knew and said to Wang Zhuo:
Although you made great contributions, you didn't try your best.
Wang Zhuo asked: What does this mean?
He explained, "When you win, you can go home and never mention Wu again. If someone asks, you can say: this is the enlightenment of the emperor and the efforts of the generals. What credit can I give? So, what reason does Wang Hun have to frame it?
Wang Zhuo said with shame, that day, I was afraid that what happened to Wargo would happen to me, so I wrote a letter to defend it. Later, I have been bitter and repeatedly broke the holy word. It seems that I did something wrong.
So Wang Zhuo did as Fan Tong said, and the slanderers did not argue with themselves.
The way of civil and military affairs is loose. The more successful a person's career is, the worse he will be. The better a person is, the easier it is to be misunderstood, evaluated and even attacked. This is normal. As the saying goes, a tree attracts the wind. Don't fly into a rage when you hear bad comments, but be elated when you say good ones. This is childish and immature.
Confucius said, "A gentleman talks but doesn't do it."
Silence is the best expression than chatter.
In the final analysis, what a person can do is not by lip service but by strength.
Climb the mountain to know your own smallness; I didn't know my position until I passed through the crowd.
No longer blindly competitive, exposing their ignorance in boasting, consuming their time and energy.
The real truth of "arguing without words" is that there is nothing to say at the highest point.
Silence is a kind of power, and meaningless arguments are of no benefit to you. Lao Tzu also said that "words without substance". He believes that real eloquence and slow words have the same effect, but it is more effective to convince others in a silent way and achieve their goals with silent tactics.
Silence is golden, and knowing silence is also an ability. Timely silence is the wisdom of keeping a low profile. Clever use will have unexpected effects.
After Zhou Wuwang captured the capital, he heard that there was an elder there, so he went to visit him and wanted to ask him the reason for the demise of the Shang Dynasty. The elder replied, "If your Majesty wants to know the reason, let me tell you at noon." However, at noon, the elder didn't come. Zhou Wuwang was very angry and secretly scolded him.
Duke Zhou said, "I think this elder is really a gentleman! He expressed his views without condescending. In fact, his view is that Shang Zhouwang has broken his word, which is the same as his current behavior. Isn't that why the Shang Dynasty perished? The elder has told the king through his behavior. "
When people are excited, they just want to vent their emotions, and they will disdain anything you say, so most of your words are invalid at this moment, so silence is the best way.
Your silence will ease the conflict. When people are arguing fiercely, they may regret the fierce confrontation when they see such quiet onlookers around them. This method is often used in political negotiations. Some politicians love to play dumb in negotiations, and in order to make their own opinions acceptable, they deliberately turn a deaf ear to others' opinions.
In the Four Seasons from Fan, it is said that "I am angry when I hear slander. Although I argue skillfully, I am like a silkworm, and I invite myself to linger."
The so-called superiority is never influenced by what others say. They know that people who argue without words, are heartless and angry because of slander, if they tie themselves up, they will get entangled deeper and deeper.
In the face of all doubts in the world, silence is the most powerful shield.
Silent people are more calm, stand from an objective point of view, rationally distinguish things, and avoid conformity.
In the Tang Dynasty, there was a doctor who punished education. His name was Cheng Hao. He is very cautious. When people around him are criticizing others, he never gets involved.
And ... Because there is no need to argue in the face of real facts.
Once he was insulted by others and everyone around him was surprised, but he was unmoved. He just said wisely, "If the other person is drunk, why talk to others?" Since intoxicating, why argue irrationally and lower his level.
There are always people who misunderstand others maliciously, so don't worry about it. It's fair and comfortable. There is no need to argue, time will clarify everything for you.
An indisputable heart wins the dominance of life. Being yourself at ease is the best rebuttal.
Silence is not a compromise or recognition of the other party, but it will prevent the spread of right and wrong to some extent. Keep those who love to talk away from you. Your silence will make them feel particularly bored. After biting your tongue, right and wrong lose the source of communication.
Remember the famous saying "Silence is golden". Proper silence is not only a silent weapon for you to deal with interpersonal relationships, but also reflects your calm and confident attitude.
Zen "Hanshan Picked Endurance Song" recorded such a dialogue:
Hanshan asked, "What should I do if someone slanders me, insults me, belittles me, laughs at me, deceives me and belittles me?"
Pickup replied, "You can put up with him, let him, avoid him, put up with him, let him respect him and ignore him. In a few years, you will see him. "
Not arguing is a great wisdom, and this silent counterattack is the most effective way. The whole world is muddy. I'm alone. Everyone is drunk. I wake up alone. In an environment where the whole world is confused, why waste your breath casting pearls before swine? We should maintain a sober and independent personality and be a calm minority in the enthusiasm of the whole world.
My life, just a few decades, only lived for myself. What others think of us is someone else's business. Freedom is the greatest practice.
If you don't argue between right and wrong, you will feel at ease. Life is like water, the more it is stirred, the more turbid it becomes. Stop stirring and become clear again. Without arguing, people will get rid of many troubles and live freely.
Not arguing is a kind of maturity. Most of the time, we don't argue, not because of cowardice, but because we let time wash away the misunderstanding all over the sky, go upstream in the torrent of public opinion, and sing and walk in the reverse course of life.
The wisdom of life itself is to let one's behavior transcend trivial matters. This is a moral heart, rather than being stingy with everything. Cultivating oneself with such a mind will make life better.