There is a kind of relationship in this world that almost all women want to take care of, and that is the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. But the reality is that "nine out of ten pairs of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are at odds." Why does this happen? Is the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law really that difficult to get along with? In fact, this is not the case. My mother-in-law and I have lived in the same yard for twenty years (and nine years under the same roof), but we have never had a blushing relationship, let alone a quarrel. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is very harmonious. . So, how did I manage to get along harmoniously with my mother-in-law? Let me share some experiences with you.

1. Feeling grateful to my mother-in-law

It has been 20 years since I got married. I have always eaten with my parents-in-law. Although I feel a lot more relaxed without having to cook, Because my mother-in-law’s cooking skills are really bad, I thought about eating separately many times during this period, but then I thought about what my father-in-law and mother-in-law had said to me many times, “You didn’t eat at home, we two I feel lonely and have no appetite." I gave up again after saying this. My father-in-law often criticized and complained about the unpalatable dishes my mother-in-law cooked, but I never complained in front of my mother-in-law. And for the dishes my mother-in-law sometimes cooked that were edible, I would say to my mother-in-law, "Let's make this dish today." It's quite delicious." When my mother-in-law heard this, she would happily say, "Then eat more and don't leave any leftovers." I am grateful to my mother-in-law for cooking for me. My mother-in-law has raised my husband and has fulfilled her duties as a mother. Now she is still cooking for us. That is the extra money she gives us. Love, not her obligation, so even if the dish was not delicious, I never complained in front of her.

2. We must have a tolerant heart

Parents of my age have more than 4 children. If our parents are required to treat every child equally, , which is indeed a bit harsh. As the saying goes, "all ten fingers have lengths." Therefore, when parents do not treat their children fairly and equally, why don't we relax our minds and understand our parents with an inclusive heart? There must be a reason for which child a parent prefers, so we don’t have to worry about it with our elders, or even make a fuss with them, and thus hold a grudge and alienate our parents.

For today’s working-class people, buying a house should be regarded as the largest financial expenditure, so the parents-in-law will provide more or less support, and my parents-in-law are no exception. They supported their eldest son with 30,000 yuan to buy a house, their younger daughter with 5,000 yuan to buy a house, and they gave 2,000 yuan to renovate my house. Regarding the old man's behavior, other people may think that the old man's bowl of water is not balanced. They are also sons. Why does one give so much and the other so little? My family is also aggrieved for me, but I take this matter very lightly. I just want to rely on my own strength to accumulate family property. They give me some, but they can’t make me rich immediately. If they don’t give it, I will You won't become a pauper because of this. The old man's little savings are what they saved over decades of frugality. They have the right to dispose of it themselves. If you give it to me, I will gratefully accept their share of the offer.

3. The elderly, like children, also need to be coaxed

When people get old, they will naturally have a sense of loneliness and loss, because at this time, for the family, the children are older. , no longer need their own care; as far as society is concerned, they have quit their jobs and are living at home, so they will more or less feel lonely and lost, feeling that they are no longer important. This is why people become more and more Children are more and more like children, and sometimes they need to be coaxed by us as children.

There is no kind of payment in the world that does not seek repayment, but everyone has different expectations for repayment. Parents give their entire life's energy and love to their children, hoping that their children will love them in return, think about them, and go home to see them more often. So sometimes when I go out, when I buy gifts for my mother, I will also buy a gift for my mother-in-law. Or at the end of the year, I give some money to my mother-in-law and let her buy new clothes, or I buy some for my parents-in-law directly. One piece, even though they said verbally that they didn’t want it, they were still very happy when they got the clothes. When I go to the supermarket to buy fruits or biscuits, sometimes I buy two portions, one for my own family and one for my parents-in-law. Regarding the things I bought, I think the old man eats them in his mouth and feels sweet in his heart.

4. Filial piety is not something to say, but something to do.

Mencius once said a well-known saying: "Old people are old, and people are old; young people are old. The meaning of this sentence is "Respect your own elders, and also respect other people's elders; care for your own children, and care for other people's children as well." Daughter-in-law, then we should be filial to our parents-in-law just like we are filial to our parents. We feel that this is a natural and natural thing.

My mother-in-law did not have a job before and only worked in a small group in the public company. Therefore, she did not receive a pension when she got old. She only received a minimum living allowance of more than 200 yuan a month. We don’t have a good relationship with her father-in-law, and she is seven or eight years younger than him, so she has always been worried about her future pension, even though my husband and I have said that we will not ignore her in the future. Recently I heard that people who used to work in small collectives or large collectives can now pay to re-apply for social security. So one day when I was having dinner, my mother-in-law told me about this matter and said that my father-in-law would not give her the money to apply for it. Such cruel words. It stands to reason that my mother-in-law’s savings are enough to pay the money herself, but I still comforted her and said, “I will pay for it.” My mother-in-law was very touched after hearing this. In fact, even if my mother-in-law doesn't talk about this matter, my husband and I are going to help her do it, so as to prevent her from feeling uneasy. Maybe it’s because I haven’t received maternal love since I was a child, so I will remember every little kindness my mother-in-law does to me and feel grateful. I am grateful that she helped me take care of my daughter; I am grateful that she cooked for me; I am grateful that she helped me collect my clothes when it rained; I was grateful that she helped me dry my clothes when the weather was fine; I am grateful that she only saw my good things, etc., so I went out for her. I am willing to repay her with this little money.

5. When your mother-in-law is dissatisfied with you, resolve it in time

As the saying goes, "No one is perfect, and there is no gold." There are also some shortcomings of mine that my mother-in-law can't stand. For example, I like to dress up and buy clothes. My mother-in-law, who has been simple and frugal all her life, can’t stand this, so she criticizes me behind my back. A married woman should not like to dress up and buy clothes indiscriminately. When I know Although I was very angry after this, I did not go to my mother-in-law to argue with her. Instead, I asked my husband to communicate with her and tell her that young people have young people’s lifestyles and that money should be spent. My husband also We communicated with his mother very cooperatively, and from then on, my mother-in-law no longer interfered with my buying clothes. Another example is that I am not used to saving water and electricity, so that for a period of time, my water and electricity bills at home were the highest in the world. For this reason, my mother-in-law complained a lot. Regarding this matter, I think her mother-in-law was dissatisfied with me. That's right, so I learned to correct it in the future, and the water and electricity bills went down, and my mother-in-law's dissatisfaction with me was naturally eliminated.

We often hear some children say that because their parents did not lend a helping hand when buying a house, or did not help them take care of their children, or they treated their children favorably, they were alienated and unfilial to their parents. It is natural to respect your parents, but in fact this idea is wrong. I would like to ask which parents in the world have to impose conditions when raising their children? Which parent refuses to raise their children because they are disobedient, not beautiful, physically disabled, or have poor grades? No! Since our parents raised us with no regrets and no strings attached, then what reason do we have for not being filial to our parents, not respecting our parents, and not allowing our parents to have something to rely on in their old age and enjoy family happiness in their later years? !

When a person gets married and starts a business, then the family burdens such as having children, raising a family, doing laundry and cooking should all be his own obligations, not those of his parents-in-law. Your parents-in-law have the right to choose to help you, and they also have the right to choose not to help you. If it helps you, then you should be grateful, because only by being grateful can you be open-minded and tolerant, so that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will naturally be easier to get along with.