Confucius said: "If there is no desire for haste, there will be no small gains. If you have haste, you will not achieve anything. If you see small gains, you will not achieve great things." Every word in the ancient sages' books needs to be considered and scrutinized, so we dare not make any mistakes. Guess the original meaning of the original sentence. Just from this sentence, you can feel a kind of stability and calmness. It seems to be warning us not to be greedy for speed, not to be obsessed with the current petty profits and miss the opportunity to achieve success.

On the contrary, today's society is in a stage of rapid development. The entire society and people are chasing quick achievements, quick solutions, and quick operation models. I'm afraid that if I don't step up, I'll miss something, I'm afraid that if I don't move quickly, I'll fall behind others, I'm afraid that if I can't keep up with the crowd, I'll be abandoned by the crowd.

This fast state is manifested in this society, showing cultural industries related to fast: fast fashion, fast life, fast entertainment, fast food, fast delivery...the rapid development of these fast cultures , and at the same time aroused people's hearts that began to wander due to the pursuit of speed.

When society is in a state of busyness, efficiency, and speed. Corresponding inner anxieties and emotional ups and downs began to appear in everyone one by one. People who cannot adjust their status in time will unconsciously bring these common ideologies to the people around them. Over time, everyone began to agree in a state of collective anxiety.

For example, today’s family education generally faces problems: children are tired of learning and have no internal motivation to learn. Among the majority of children we receive, 95% do not like doing homework, and many children do not want to go to school. For those who want to go to school, going to school is just about playing with many friends. Many parents have reported that enrolling their children in interest classes is mainly to find a place where they can have friends and play. Some parents lamented that other people’s children have gone to Peiyou, but if we don’t go, no one will have fun!

So why don’t children want to go to school? Some parents can really calm down and sort it out and try to feel their children. There are a few parents who can be at peace with their children on this road of learning. What difficulties has the child encountered, what kind of support does he need, and will he tell you what is in his heart?

Many parents will feel anxious and agitated when they receive some negative information. But few people will put aside their own opinions and just accompany their children.

After returning from Shanghai, I received visits and calls from several parents. The stories told are the same but different. Although the situations in the stories are different, some of the behaviors and words and deeds when dealing with children are exactly the same.

Just listening to the parents’ words alone, I have already felt the incomparable anxiety and restlessness from their transmission. What's more, they are now facing high-dimensional children of all ages who have their own thinking. Even if parents say nothing, children can feel deep confrontation and fear. What's more, not many parents know how to shut up when appropriate. The real situation in many cases is to "make up for it every time."

Therefore, parents are often told: If you don’t know what to say, just shut up. Sometimes not speaking is better than speaking. Not speaking is support, speaking is sometimes hurtful. Should you speak, and when should you speak. I really hope that parents can be the ones who understand their children best at that moment. Never use your words as a weapon to hurt others.

Many times, your words will become a weight that your children will carry for a long time. If we as parents can realize it, please shut our mouths at the right time. Use your heart and your actions to slowly warm up the child's loneliness and sadness.

Please understand carefully! Slowly, not quickly. Children do not grow up all at once from the age of 0 to now, so when faced with children's problems, parents also give them appropriate time and space. The best way to reduce children's anxiety and restlessness is to give them time and accompany them slowly.

There is no fixed pattern for life. It must be how old you are, how old you are... Rather, it is necessary to take the child's individual life as the leading factor and allow him to slowly unfold and gradually open up at his own pace and way.

end~