Emotional intelligence can determine a person's life more than IQ. Since the word EQ appeared, people began to compare which is more important. Functionally speaking, IQ reflects people's intelligence level, while EQ reflects people's ability to know themselves, control their emotions, motivate themselves and deal with interpersonal relationships. However, there are many examples that show that EQ is more important than IQ and can determine the fate of life. There are two examples: Zhang Chi was slow in class in kindergarten. Other children can count to 100 skillfully, while Zhang Chi even has difficulty counting to 20. After entering high school, the best grades are only ranked in more than 60 in the whole school. However, Zhang Chi's parents worked closely with their teachers and did a lot of work to cultivate Zhang Chi. For example, cultivate interest and curiosity first; Establish children's self-confidence; Communicate with teachers; Cultivate good habits; Learn to do things by yourself; The necessary spirit of suffering; Experience the hard work of parents; Being a man is more important than reading. 1997 Zhang Chi, who has just finished her sophomore year in No.4 Middle School, got the undergraduate admission notice from the University of Essex in the UK. At the age of 22, she won a full scholarship from Cambridge University and became the youngest doctoral student in China in history. She was in charge of thesis guidance for 4 masters and 8 undergraduates. Li Wenzhe, from elementary school to junior high school, has always been the top five students in her class, although she transferred to several schools because of her parents' job transfer. His parents' education of children is similar to that of Zhang Chi, and they attach great importance to the education of children's quality and behavior. Li Wenzhe's academic performance in senior high school jumped to 1-2, and he was admitted to Tsinghua University this year. From the above two examples, we can see that gifted children are a gift from heaven, but the cultivation of acquired emotional intelligence can work miracles. In real life, some people have high IQ, but low EQ. They may be the best in their study and work ability, but their interpersonal relationships are not so good and their careers are not so smooth. People with average IQ but high EQ have a positive life, good interpersonal relationship and enterprising spirit. So such people are particularly easy to succeed. It has been vividly described that it makes sense to "find a job by IQ and get promoted by EQ". Daniel Gorman pointed out in his book Emotional Intelligence that emotional intelligence is closely related to all aspects of people's lives and is the key to people's happiness and success. EQ is more important than IQ. Some people say that people with high IQ can become excellent accountants, but only those with good IQ and EQ can become senior executives of the company. Zeng Guofan was an influential figure in the ancient history of China. When he was a child, he was not clever. He is not the kind of child prodigy who never forgets anything and reads quickly. He is like an ordinary child, even stupid. One night, he was reading at home. He read an article many times, but he still didn't recite it. At this time, a thief came to the house, lurking under the eaves, hoping to get some benefits after the scholar slept. But wait and wait, just don't see him sleeping, or read the article over and over again. The thief got tired of waiting under the wall and became very angry. "What books do you read at this level?" Then finish reciting the article and walk away. (Sun, inspirational quote) Zeng Guofan was stunned by what happened suddenly. The thief ran away after reciting the article. He suddenly smiled and thought, this man is really something. He can recite it after listening to it a few times. It seems that I still don't work hard enough and need to continue to study hard! It is with this tenacity and perseverance that Zeng Guofan created his own successful life, became an important historical figure in China's modern history, and was known as the "first minister" in the late Qing Dynasty. Studies have confirmed that emotional intelligence plays a decisive role in the success of life. Only when you go on stage with emotional intelligence can you give full play to your IQ. Among the people who have made great achievements in many fields, quite a few people are considered to have low IQ in school, but they have given full play to their emotional intelligence and finally succeeded. People with higher emotional intelligence have advantages in all fields of life, and have greater chances of success in love, interpersonal relationships, and controlling personal destiny. In addition, people with high EQ lead more efficient lives, are more likely to be satisfied, and can use their intelligence to achieve fruitful results. On the other hand, people with low EQ can't control their emotions, and they often have fierce conflicts in their hearts, which weaken their hands-on ability and thinking ability. These are all things that should be focused on at work. In other words, the level of EQ can determine whether a person's other abilities (including intelligence) can be brought into full play, thus determining how much he has achieved. The specific content of EQ We have a preliminary understanding of the basic concepts of EQ. In order to better understand what EQ is, relevant experts divide EQ into five specific aspects: 1. Self-awareness is the basic point of emotional intelligence, and this ability to know feelings at any time is very important for understanding yourself. To put it another way, that is to say: people are expensive and have self-knowledge. One can neither overestimate one's ability nor underestimate one's potential easily. People who overestimate themselves are often impetuous, competitive, not good at cooperating with others, and have a big psychological gap when their careers are frustrated, so it is difficult to treat objective facts calmly; People who underestimate their abilities will be timid and hesitant in their work, have no courage to take responsibility and shoulder responsibility, and have no initiative to volunteer. People with self-knowledge can not only show their advantages in front of others, but also not deliberately cover up their shortcomings. Showing your own shortcomings and asking for advice from others will not only reduce yourself, but also be mature, confident and sincere. People who are self-aware will not easily fail when they encounter setbacks in their work, and they will not be complacent about their achievements in their work. 2. Self-control ability (emotional control) Emotional self-control ability, in other words, self-discipline. Emotional self-control ability includes controlling one's uneasy emotions or impulses, keeping a clear head and being able to withstand various pressures; Win the trust of others with sincerity, and clearly understand that your actions will affect others at any time. However, in order to show the so-called "self-discipline", it is ridiculous to whitewash and cover up your own shortcomings in front of others. Only on the basis of winning the trust of others, being strict with yourself and being lenient with others can we truly gain the respect and praise of others. In addition, self-emotional management must be based on self-cognition, and we should know how to overcome bad emotions, how to comfort ourselves and get rid of the influence of anxiety, gloom or anxiety. People who lack this ability often need to struggle with depression; People who can control their emotions can quickly get out of the low tide of life and start over. 3. Self-motivated ability (self-development) Generally speaking, self-motivated people are more efficient in doing anything. If a person wants to make continuous progress and advance his personal ability from excellent to excellent, he must strive to cultivate his three qualities: modesty, persistence and courage. Modesty, being able to listen to many opinions will definitely make people progress. Persistence refers to our determination and will to stick to the right direction. Only those who dare to meet challenges and do the hardest work can truly surpass themselves. Just like Mark? Twain said, "Courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to resist and control fear." It should be noted that both self-motivation and creativity need to focus on a certain goal, which is absolute. Moreover, to achieve anything, we must have emotional self-control-restraining impulse, delaying satisfaction and being able to maintain a high degree of enthusiasm are the driving forces of all achievements. 4. Recognizing the ability of others (empathy) Empathy is one of the basic skills for people to get along with each other, and it also needs to be based on self-knowledge. People with strong empathy can perceive the needs of others from subtle information, and such people are especially suitable for medical treatment, teaching, sales and management. Specifically, people with empathy, no matter what they do, always think from the other person's point of view and always put themselves in others' shoes. Some common sayings and proverbs just express the need for empathy when getting along with others, such as "people are connected, the reason is the same" and "if you want to know, turn it upside down". There is no fixed formula to follow in the relationship between people. From the perspective of caring for others and understanding others, it is the key to a person's success to leave room and space for others when doing things, to think for others when misunderstanding occurs, to take the initiative to reflect on his own mistakes and to take responsibility bravely. As long as we have empathy, we can avoid a lot of complaints, accusations, ridicule and satire, and everyone can work and live happily in an environment full of encouragement, understanding, support and respect. 5. the ability of interpersonal relationship management (leadership and influence) interpersonal relationship is the art of managing others' emotions. A person's popularity, leadership and interpersonal harmony are all related to this ability, and those who fully master this ability are usually the best in society. Interpersonal relationship includes influence in social communication, ability to listen and communicate, ability to deal with conflicts, ability to establish relationships, ability to cooperate and coordinate, ability to persuade and influence, etc. Among the above five aspects, the first three aspects only involve "self", that is, understanding, managing, encouraging and restraining one's emotions; The latter two aspects involve "others", so we should put ourselves in others' shoes, properly manage others' emotions and achieve harmony in interpersonal relationships. In other words, the basic connotation of EQ actually includes two parts: the first part is to know, understand and properly manage one's emotions anytime and anywhere; The second part is to know, understand and properly manage other people's emotions anytime and anywhere.