People are generally taller if they don’t ask for help, but they will be three points shorter if they ask for help. This is extremely true. In "Snail House", Haizao borrowed 60,000 yuan from Song Siming to help her sister Haiping pay off the loan shark. It was because she owed Song Siming a favor for borrowing money this time. She used the phrase "favor debts must be paid with flesh" Those words kicked off his slide into the life of a "mistress" and gambled on his life's happiness. Although there is some real affection in this, this kind of affection starts with asking for help.

Ever since I was a child, I have been a person who doesn’t want to bow my head and ask for help. I remember one summer, the team promised to buy a notebook for every child who participated in the labor force. There were five sisters in the family. Because I was the eldest, my mother arranged for me to take care of my one-year-old brother at home. The other three sisters could go to the production team to work collectively to earn money. Work points and notebook. I was reluctant and clamored to go to the fields to do farm work. My mother refused, so I took my brother and secretly went to the place where the children were working together. Once, I carried my younger brother on my back and sat on the ridge of the field, while I went down to the paddy field to pull seedlings like other children. Unexpectedly, my brother was restless while sitting on the ridge of the field. He rolled over and fell into the paddy field. His head and mouth were covered with mud, and he burst into tears. I quickly picked up my brother from the mud. My mother heard my brother crying from the paddy field far away. Seeing that I was disobedient, she took my brother to the farmland. She angrily picked up a brick and chased after me. I was so scared that I carried my brother on my back. Just ran home. After work in the evening, my mother hit me hard with a stick as thick as a finger and asked me if I still obeyed. Do you want to take your brother to the fields? I remained silent and allowed her stick to hit me like raindrops. Even when my mother's hands were tired from beating me, I still refused to lower my head and admit my mistake.

The stubborn character I developed since childhood has always affected my behavior. No matter what I do, as long as I can do it, I will never ask for help. Do farm work, accumulate fertilizer, pick millet, go down to the mine, climb the well tower, work with my head down, and immerse myself in work. I would rather suffer and be tired than ask for care. Even if my injured leg hurts and cold sweat breaks out on my forehead, I I could still endure my duties alone, so until I left my mother to work when I was 17, my mother didn’t know what was going on with my legs. In fact, I don't know what's going on. I remember that after working as a collective worker for a year, my mother suddenly heard from a neighbor on the production team that your girl’s legs seemed to be walking wrong, and you should take her to the hospital for a check-up. My mother asked me what was going on? Did you secretly watch a movie at night and get injured when you get home, but you dare not say that it has become like this? No matter how I explained it at that time, my mother refused to believe it. She thought I was lying and scolded me for being lazy and slippery. When I cried in pain, only my younger sister was willing to accompany me. She rushed to help me with housework. When my mother was not around, she hurriedly brought food to me who was hiding in the room and crying. The only time my mother took me to the hospital to take a X-ray of my injured leg was that the hip joint had been dislocated for too long and a thick film had grown on it. Now that I think about it, this problem actually occurred when I was in junior high school. I remember that every time I finished a class, I would not dare to get up and walk immediately when I stood up from my seat. Instead, I would stand in front of my seat and let the dislocated hip joint slowly return to its position, and then lift my leg to step. I know that my mother’s thoughts are completely on my father who is hospitalized for emergency treatment. She leaves early and comes home late, rushing between the hospital and her family. On one end, there is the father who has been receiving blood transfusions and has received critical illness notices several times; on the other end, there are five young children who are like a ladder. She was hurried and worried, so she was naturally less attentive and considerate towards my injuries. I naturally stood up and shouldered the burden of the family side by side with my mother, leading my brothers and sisters to divide the work and work in rotation. We went to school on time, weeded pigs, planted vegetables, carried water, washed clothes, used small buckets to go to the granary at the foot of the mountain to carry back rations for our families, cooked rice and pig food, and fed pigs and chickens. , I couldn’t care less about the pain in my legs as my mother hurried home and rushed to the hospital. Even if I occasionally cried out about leg pain, my mother would just cut some of my hair with scissors and rub the painful area with white wine a few times. It didn't attract her attention. She yelled too much, and it was reasonable for her to label her as lazy and not wanting to do anything. Therefore, to this day, I always believe that my broken leg saved my father’s life, allowing him to live with us for 22 years after struggling back from the death line, allowing my siblings and I to fully enjoy his father’s love. Family love allowed him and his mother to finally live a happy life together after recovering from a serious illness after living apart for more than 10 years. My father stayed in the hospital for a year and a half, and my leg injury delayed the optimal treatment period. Of course, I never received any real treatment later. That is to say, when my father was hospitalized due to illness, I took the initiative to go home to farm for seven years to relieve my mother's life pressure. My mother later placed her hope of curing my legs after I started working.

I remember the first time after I started working that I mustered up the courage to go to the trauma department of the hospital alone to see a doctor for my injured leg. The doctor said, "You really know how to do abacus. I injured my leg at home and now I want to pay for it at public expense." rule. Without saying a word, I turned back and left the consultation room and the hospital door. I never entered the hospital door for my injured leg again.

Now, this doctor has been retired for many years. He may never know that his casual words will cause a girl who has been hoping for three years to give up her desire to treat her legs. Just like the girl's mother, she will never I know that her angry words at that time, "I hope you can help the family when you grow up, but I didn't expect that I would continue to support you" would make this girl stand tenaciously from now on, even if it is a crooked-necked tree. Yingfeng Aoxue also shouldered the heavy pressure of life, led her brothers, sisters and their children to pursue the life they wanted with an optimistic attitude that refused to admit defeat, lived out the warmth of life with her kindness and compassion, and became a leader among the disabled.

Life is not easy. Many times, your mentality is your real master. Tie Ning said in "The Grass Ring": "Grass can replace real gold, but real gold cannot replace grass." Although I am willing to accept my own imperfections, decades of life have gradually made me understand: People, really You need a peaceful place, where all the restlessness, irritability, and worldly disputes in your heart have no way out. The tranquility of the thousand-year-old house alley is like a filter, making you wish you were just a ray of sunshine, a drop of rain, or a light mist. , a gust of wind, a fallen leaf, an inconspicuous grass. I also firmly believe in the Western saying "Character is destiny". When I stubbornly move forward with my head held high, those sufferings, those pains, and those unknown bitternesses will slowly become the nutrition of my bones and blood in my life, quietly supporting me to step on a unique path of my own.

2017.3.29