In life, there are always people who can't control their mouths and like to poke others' pain points.
Bitterness will certainly make your mouth feel better, but it will make others feel bitter, and it will also draw hatred for yourself invisibly.
Mr. Lu Xun once said: Friendship is the sincere treatment of two hearts, not the beating of one heart on the other.
Even two people who have a good relationship can't speak freely and hurt their self-esteem. In the long run, the two will only drift apart.
People with high emotional intelligence will never satirize others, but know how to tell the truth and leave room for others.
One thing must be noted in communication: what matters is not how good you feel, but how good you make the other person feel. Bo Huang, the winner of this film, is regarded as a person with high emotional intelligence. He can handle any problem on any occasion.
Bo Huang replied like this:
"This era won't stop you from shining, but you can't hide anyone's brilliance. Because he was an epoch-making filmmaker in China films at that time. We are just some younger generations who continue to move forward and dare not make mistakes for this. "
This answer not only affirmed Ge You's position, but also won the respect of others. Can be called "emotional intelligence" template.
The so-called high emotional intelligence is not only reflected in language and skills, but also in connotation and cultivation. People with high emotional intelligence may not talk much, but they must be soft-hearted and don't want to hurt others.
People with high emotional intelligence know how to manage emotions, maintain interpersonal relationships, and know when to lose their temper and when to control their temper. Is to maintain emotional stability in the face of storms.
Psychologists believe that high emotional intelligence is to turn uncontrollable emotions into controllable emotions, and to understand and get along with others with stable emotions.
In the film Green Book, Dr Shelley, a black musician, is an emotionally stable person. He went south to attend a series of performances, and Dr. Shelley and Tony, a white driver, were driving on the highway. It's dark, it's raining heavily, and it's almost impossible to see the road. At this time, two white policemen came and asked to stop and check.
After parking, the police found a black man sitting in the car, so they asked Dr. Shelley to get off and attacked them with insulting language. In a moment of anger, Tony knocked down the policeman with one punch and the two were taken into custody.
Although he was treated unfairly, Dr. Shelley did not become angry from embarrassment, but restrained his emotions and politely asked to call his lawyer. It's finally released. Shelley told Tony that violence can never be won, but only dignity, because self-esteem can always make you point. If Dr. Shelley fights every day because of discrimination, he can't be a great musician.
We seldom hear people with high emotional intelligence complain. They are more willing to solve things than to waste their energy on venting bad emotions. And such people are closer to success.
Marshall mentioned a point in his book Non-violent Communication that when we are angry, we can't really convey our feelings by criticizing and accusing others.
If you want to fully express your anger, you can't blame others, but focus on your own feelings and needs, and speak your own needs directly, which is more likely to satisfy your wishes.
Therefore, people with high emotional intelligence never flinch, but express themselves in an appropriate way.
In reality, many women never express their dissatisfaction and always keep it in their hearts until they can't stand it.
The core of anger is the need that we may not be able to meet. We are angry with others because we feel that others are responsible for our emotions.
I am angry because you did something wrong, which is the logic of many people. But in fact, when you find that you can focus on your feelings, you will find that attacking others to meet your own needs will only create more new problems.
For how to express anger, Marshall provided four steps of nonviolent communication:
You will find that once you feel your feelings first, your words will naturally become soft.
Many people have many misunderstandings about EQ. For example, people who are good at talking have high emotional intelligence.
He Jiong, the king of salvation, often brought back the original embarrassing scene because of a few words and won unanimous praise. But He Jiong himself decided that this is a kind of "* * * feeling" ability. And * * * emotional ability is the key factor of emotional intelligence.
If a person can't keenly perceive other people's inner changes and only has his own eyes, then even if he is eloquent, he is just a annoying person who can talk.
Many people think that high EQ means being able to make ends meet. In fact, people with well-proportioned figures are not high in EQ, but sleek and sophisticated. There is a difference between high emotional intelligence and sleek sophistication, even a qualitative difference.
Grasping the opportunity is high emotional intelligence. If you just cater to it blindly, then put it mildly, which will not only make others comfortable, but also make people feel too routine, thus losing their goodwill and trust.
There is a popular saying on the Internet:
Many people's so-called low emotional intelligence is not that they can't speak at all, but that they have never met others in their hearts. There is a saying: "You should treat others as you want them to treat you."
People with high emotional intelligence know the skills of speaking and the truth of being a man. Their hearts are soft, they know sympathy, they know understanding, they know tolerance and forbearance, and they are willing to warm the fragile hearts of others with sincerity and kindness.
Such people can make people "tired for a long time" and feel happy.
Learn more about historical figures and events, welcome to pay attention to Taoist priests and bring you different historical answers.