Why is life so hard that the road ahead is hopeless?

Why am I so helpless that I can't find the source of life force?

Why are you busy all day, but you can't remember what you are busy with?

Why are you so boring, boring and lacking in energy?

Why are you so stressed and tired every day and have no time to find your own value?

Have you ever asked yourself in the middle of the night: What are you here for?

Did you, uh, look for answers to these questions?

A top psychologist in the world wrote a book, telling the story of personal suffering and giving the answers to these questions from thoughts and actions.

And in his long career after writing a book, he verified these answers with practical actions.

This is not a fictional novel line,

This is the true story that happened in Auschwitz.

The story is cold and cruel-if you want to survive in a concentration camp, you must first avoid being sent to the gas chamber by the SS.

Who will the SS send to the gas chamber?

The answer is: people who can't work, that is, worthless prisoners in concentration camps.

Therefore, at least making yourself look younger and healthier is the first rule of survival in concentration camps.

This true story comes from the book "Living the Meaning of Life".

?

This book is so popular.

The Meaning of Living was selected by the Library of Congress as "the most influential 10 book in America", and its global sales exceeded120,000 copies.

What does120,000 copies mean? Just list the data.

The first file: super bestseller. The cumulative sales volume reached more than 500,000 copies a year.

The second file: compare bestsellers. The cumulative sales volume reached more than 200,000 copies a year.

The third file: general bestseller. The cumulative sales volume reached more than 50,000 copies a year.

It is equivalent to selling 6.5438+0.2 million copies for 24 consecutive years.

This book is a legend.

Moreover, this is a book with stories, thoughts and action guides.

1, there is a story-a story is a case, and it is the best case because it is the author's own personal story;

2. Thinking-There are reasons to think about human nature everywhere in the book. Because it happened in the extreme environment of concentration camps, these thoughts are more profound, true and thought-provoking;

3. More importantly, there are actions and action guides-the author is the founder of the logotherapy School and the founder of the Vienna Third School (the first school and the second school are Freud's psychoanalysis and Adler's humanistic psychology respectively), and he is a real master of psychology. His therapy has a far-reaching influence and has cured countless people's mental diseases, including himself. In his book, he tells the typical cases of concentration camps and his later career.

Victor Frank's life is a legend.

1905, Frank was born in a Jewish family in Vienna, Austria.

Childhood poor family, once begging on the farm;

Zaohui, 15 years old, began to think about the meaning and value of life;

/kloc-when he was 0/6 years old, he wrote to Freud and got his appreciation;

1930, obtained the doctor of medicine at the age of 25, and was promoted to the teaching assistant of the Medical College of Vienna University;

1942- 1945, he spent time in Nazi concentration camps;

At the same time, all parents and wives died in concentration camps;

1948, Ph.D.;

At the age of 67, he learned to fly a plane and got a driver's license a few months later.

Climbing the Alps at the age of 80;

At the age of 92

You might say that there are no more concentration camps and gas chambers.

Yes, now others have no right to send innocent people to the gas chamber, but you have the right.

As long as you give up yourself and deny the value of your existence, you are sending yourself into a chronic gas chamber.

Victor Frank often asks others, "Why don't you kill yourself?"

Of course, this is not a provocation, but a treatment.

Let's see what real stories the legendary psychologist told and what answers he gave.

Frank said a few things he couldn't believe about the potential of human adaptability:

1. Standing naked and wet in the cold wind in late autumn after taking a shower, I didn't catch a cold.

2. A doctor even exclaimed: "The textbook is lying!" Because the textbook says that people can't live if they sleep less than the prescribed hours, but it turns out that this is wrong!

3. Your stomach has become much healthier when you can't brush your teeth and are seriously short of vitamins.

People with poor sleep quality can sleep peacefully even if they snore only a few feet away.

Frank concluded:

We often see reports on the great potential of human beings in the media. The most common one is "the mother carried a car to save the child". In history, the story of Gou Jian, respected by a country, is the most representative.

I always feel that superman women and distant Gou Jian have some legendary attributes, but Frank's story gives me a completely different feeling-real, incomparable real, as if just in front of me.

Frank gave the first answer-when we face difficulties and even sufferings, we must first know in our hearts that there is nothing to be afraid of, and I can adapt to it no matter how difficult it is.

If you are in prison, what you lose is the most precious freedom. However, what is lost is only freedom in a narrow sense.

In fact, human beings have never lost their freedom, at least not completely.

Of course, human beings have never been completely free.

The freedom that people always have is the freedom of choice.

Sartre said that life is nothing more than a C between B and D.

B stands for birth-birth;

D stands for death-death;

C stands for choice.-choice.

Life is one multiple-choice question after another.

Frank said:

This sentence can be said to be the frank version of Rousseau's "born free, but fettered everywhere" in prison.

James Cass's book The Finite and Infinite Game emphasizes in a large space that people often hide their freedom by themselves.

What Frank wants to say is-never forget that you are free whenever and wherever you are.

It's easy to forget this when you are in trouble. Muranathan and Shafir said in their book Scarcity that it is scarcity that leads to the narrowing of mental bandwidth, which often leads to the lack of cognitive ability and executive control. From this point of view, people in deep trouble do face greater difficulties. But,

Your predicament only gives you more restrictions than usual, not a complete loss of freedom. When encountering difficulties, you can choose to lie flat or struggle; You can choose to learn something new or experience a new life.

This freedom can best be embodied in a passage by Kōnosuke Matsushita.

"I succeeded largely because I was blessed by God. He gave me three benefits, which benefited me a lot:

The first favor, the family is so poor that it can hardly eat. Thanks to poverty, I have tasted the hard work of shoeshine and selling newspapers since I was a child, and gained valuable life experience from it.

The second favor, from birth, my body is very weak, thanks to my weakness, I got the opportunity to exercise, so that I can maintain a healthy body in my old age;

The last favor is that my education level is low, because I didn't even graduate from primary school. Because of my low level of education, I consulted all the people in the world and never neglected my study. "

The reason why "The Shawshank Redemption" is highly praised is also because it gives different choices.

Even slaves have the freedom to choose Spartacus or Nat Turner.

Frank's second answer: man is his own master, not a slave to the environment.

The most romantic and beautiful words in this book appear in the following narrative.

It is often said that what is lost is precious.

In fact, people don't know how to cherish, but don't know what they really want.

This is because what we "lose" is the state that we once "owned". If we feel sad about losing this state, it means that the state we are used to is what we want more. So the more we lose, the more we will miss the people and love we once had but lost.

In trouble, you don't need to experience a regrettable loss, but you can experience the pain of losing the state you once had, so as to understand what you really want and what you really love.

If you find what you love, you will understand the responsibility.

Love and responsibility are actually one.

Love inspires responsibility;

Responsibility, sublimate love.

Dickens put it well:

If people can do their duty, they can have the feeling of eating pear honey and offset the bitterness of life.

The 2022 New Year message of Southern Weekend wrote:

A sentence quoted in Luo Pang's New Year's speech this year echoes the New Year's dedication of Southern Weekend:

So, dilemma is an opportunity,

Among them, it is easier for us to discover the true colors of our lives.

Make life more real and pure.

Frank believes that people can realize the value of creation through work, and they can also get pleasure through the pursuit of beauty and art.

Frank said that it is not limited to concentration camps. People will encounter bad luck everywhere, and at the same time they will encounter opportunities to realize moral sublimation by bravely facing suffering.

Suffering is indeed an opportunity for sanctification.

Look at Mandela, Gandhi, Jesus, who are revered as saints, including Confucius, who was displaced and frustrated for life, and you can confirm one sentence:

The depth of suffering determines the height of life.

So when encountering difficulties, remember that this is an opportunity, if not an opportunity for self-sublimation, at least an opportunity for self-improvement.

Remember to ask yourself:

How can I live up to this dilemma or suffering in the future?

Frank told a story that he helped people, which is the soul of the whole book.

At that time, because some prisoners stole some potatoes, everyone was hungry all day. Frank was lying in bed with other hungry prisoners, and he suddenly wanted to do something for everyone.

He began to chant.

Frank said these words in order to find rich meaning in life in that almost desperate environment. His efforts succeeded.

They all say that helping others is fun.

In fact, helping others is not only fun, but also helping yourself.

Because helping others shows their ability and strength.

These abilities and strengths are the light that illuminates your heart.

Kevin kelly said: Perhaps the most counterintuitive truth in the universe is that the more you give to others, the more you get.

Romain rolland even said: A rich nature will wither if it doesn't feed other hungry people.

Which definition do you think is the most appetizing?

I prefer Roman Roland because it is more specific.

As for Zhou, this is actually an ideological game, or chicken soup for the soul in a sense.

Frank's answer to this question is more grounded than that of Roman Roland.

Frank believes that meaning varies from person to person, but it should all fall on something real-love and responsibility.

Of course, love and responsibility can be big or small.

Go back to the question in the title of this article: "Why didn't you kill yourself?"

What's your answer?

According to Frank's story, make a summary to deal with the dilemma:

First of all, keep mindfulness thinking:

1, the predicament is not terrible, and human potential is huge;

Don't forget that people are free everywhere.

Second, think in another frame: What can difficulties give us?

1, find out what is really important in our life;

Maybe this is an opportunity for self-improvement or even sublimation.

3. What else can we do?

1, suffering;

2. Help others.

I add a suggestion:

Fourth, read Nietzsche and Dostoevsky,

Recommend the birth of tragedy and crime and punishment.

Mindfulness, changing the framework and action can be summarized in one word: control.

Leonard Mlodinow discussed the importance of controlling the footsteps of drunkards;

The book also cites two experiments to further prove the significance of "control" to life.

Experiment 1: In a study, wild rats were suddenly deprived of all control over the environment, and they soon lost their desire to survive and died.

Experiment 2: Psychologist Allen? Langer conducted an experiment on the control of the elderly in a high-end nursing home called Ardennes House.

The experiment found that the elderly with control desire are more active and willing to talk with the staff around them for a long time.

At the same time, the experimenter judged the mentality of the elderly by holding activities and observing the number of movies. The results show that the elderly who are under unified management and out of control watch fewer movies, and at the same time, they have no desire to participate in the activities of nursing homes.

This shows that losing control makes people's attitude towards life negative.

More importantly, 18? After a few months, what is the mortality rate of the uncontrolled group of elderly people? 30%; And the control group, what is the mortality rate? 15%。

If you are in trouble or pain, you must control your thoughts and actions-control is the best answer.

If you are in trouble, you can borrow the format of the famous prayer for peace and read the following passage:

This article is a bit heavy, so I ended with the first sentence of the Southern Weekend New Year dedication: