One is passive "Lao Lai", which is not unwilling to pay back the money subjectively, but a kind of person who is forced to owe money because of various objective reasons. This kind of person is really forced into "Lao Lai". As long as he is given time to turn around, he will pay off his debts sooner or later.

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The other is the active "Lao Lai", who has no idea of paying back the money at all in his subjective desire, and believes in "Why should I pay you back the money borrowed by my ability?" As long as the money reaches his pocket, it is his own asset, and no one will go, even if his parents come. How hard it is to ask such a person for money is like trying to get an egg from a tiger skin. Why don't you lend money to others if you say nothing? Because the moment the money reaches his pocket, it really belongs to him. Do you think he will be happy to give it back to you?

There is a concept in psychology called loss effect, which is very obvious in Lao Lai. Psychologists have found through long-term observation that everyone feels pain when losing something, which is 2.5 times as much as happiness when getting it. In other words, if you lose 100 yuan, then you should at least get 250 yuan to balance your inner loss.

Those people who borrow money for a long time will feel that the money is his own. When you need them to pay back the money, they will feel that they have suffered a huge loss instead of taking the initiative to pay back the money. Psychologically speaking, they are very resistant to paying back the money, especially the kind with a large number, which will have a kind of pain of killing meat and mending sores. They must have a strong sense of self-discipline to overcome this nature, but most people borrow money because they can't manage their finances, which means that he is essentially a very undisciplined person.

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We can draw a conclusion that asking the borrower to pay back the money is equivalent to making an undisciplined person self-disciplined. This is a very contradictory problem, which is close to a mathematical problem without solution. This is the fundamental reason why many people borrow money and don't pay it back in real life. If you cherish friendship, you'd better not have any economic contacts with your friends, especially don't lend him money, because people who often borrow money will never pay back.