There is a famous saying that was once highly praised by everyone: "Go your own way and let others say it!"

It is easy to shout this sentence as a slogan, but In the chaotic world, when you are excluded, attacked, and questioned by others, when you encounter setbacks and difficulties, it is really difficult to be yourself confidently and follow your own path firmly! This requires firm confidence in the future, as well as a strong inner ability to withstand all wind and rain. Therefore, there are only a few people who can do this. Most people live their lives as "walking other people's paths and letting them speak for themselves." I am one of them.

I am a person with a gentle personality, and I am generally recognized as having a good temper. A gentle personality and a good temper are my strengths, but there is also an element of inferiority and cowardice in it. This is the part of me that needs to grow as I have passed my forties.

In order to grow my inner self, I read Chinese classics to draw spiritual nourishment from them. I practice yoga to improve my temperament externally. I meditate to gain peace of mind and improve wisdom. I also study psychology. book to find practical ways to overcome character flaws. My goal is to look at things objectively and fairly, treat people and things with a moderate attitude, and always keep my heart open-minded, calm and calm.

I have been working hard like this for two years. However, after putting in so much effort, I am distressed and angry just because of a small change in someone else’s attitude. This really makes me very disappointed with myself. Also very frustrated. "The Tao Te Ching" says that "the nine-story tower rises from tired soil", but I have a feeling that "the nine-story tower was destroyed in an instant".

That was in December 2019.

There is a male leader and three girls in our office - me, a and b. a was transferred to our unit in September. He and I are classmates in technical secondary school, and we do the same job. Naturally, we have a good relationship, and there are many times when we need to discuss and discuss things.

b is the same age as me. He is not tall and has a lot of personality. People give him the nickname "Little Demon". Just imagine what kind of characteristics the little demon has, she will be like that. When she is happy, she talks and laughs with people she likes. When she is unhappy, she talks coldly or turns a blind eye to people she doesn't like. It is very rare for her to talk to you well. She can say anything to others, but if others say something to her that she doesn't like, she must speak back eloquently, even making it impossible for you to step down. This kind of personality may be related to her parents always quarreling when she was a child, which made her feel insecure. She looks powerful, but is actually sensitive and fragile.

Before a came, another girl sat at the table opposite to b. The two of them have a good relationship and have similar personalities, and they often have lively conversations about trivial matters. I am busy at work, have a normal relationship with them, and B doesn't like me very much, so I seldom participate and just do my own work quietly throughout the day.

After a arrived, the girl was transferred to the office next door, and α sat at the opposite table from b.

a is a person who loves to joke and is good at enlivening the atmosphere, and has a high emotional intelligence. Ever since she arrived, there has been constant laughter in the office. Under her guidance, I talked more. We often discuss work matters with our male boss. B may feel left out at first and often runs to the office next door. We noticed her feelings, cared about her very much, accommodated her in every way, and took care of her emotions. Soon, the three of us got along very well, the atmosphere in the office was very harmonious, and b became much closer to me.

But one day in December, I suddenly knew what "unpredictable weather" means.

I arrived at the office fine in the morning, but he started ignoring me at nine o'clock in the morning. In the afternoon, he also spoke impulsively to the male boss in the same office. Reluctantly, α tried every means to invite her to a small conference room for a private discussion. It turned out that she was angry with both me and a. Of course, it was something unworthy of attention at work that made her feel uncomfortable. The words passed and we returned to the joy of laughing and joking.

Unexpectedly, a few days later, she started to ignore me again. He is a little colder towards a, but not like he is as cold as ice to me.

I thought to myself, where did I offend her? I thought about what happened recently and couldn't figure it out.

No one is referring to who is alive, and it doesn’t matter whether I care or not, but in an office, although everyone is doing their own thing, it feels very bad, I feel uncomfortable all over, and my hands are doing something else. thing, my mind began to think about it without even realizing it.

I took the initiative to talk to her, and she twisted her face, curled her mouth, and rolled her eyes. I poured her water, but she took the water glass and didn’t say anything. I sent her text messages to tease her, but she didn’t reply. I simply asked her what was wrong, but she didn't say anything, and the day just went by awkwardly.

When I get home from get off work, I eat, exercise, and clean the house. On the surface, everything seems to be normal, but I am still stuck in this matter and can't get out. It's like my mind has formed a fixed pattern. Even if I try hard to change my mind to think about other things, I will come back in the blink of an eye. It's like a moth flying toward the flame, knowing that fighting the flame will lead to death, but it still flies there.

My thoughts are like being covered by a net, and I can't break free.

People have a kind of curiosity. The more they don’t understand something, the more they want to understand it. I really want to know why she is angry. Even when she was in school, she did not have such a strong "desire for knowledge" and "desire to explore." The more you want to know, the more serious your injustice becomes.

Several people are shouting in my heart. After a while, this man screamed: "Everyone is raised by his father and mother, why should I live based on your face?" The anger seemed to burst through his chest. After a while, that person muttered unjustly: "How did I treat you when you were in a bad mood? Have you forgotten all the good things I did to you?" After a while, another elder told me in a rational voice: "Forget it, you can do it yourself." Just admit that she didn't do anything wrong. You have reconciled with her in a positive manner and responded to her with kindness. That's good. If she ignores you, just ignore her. Just keep an appropriate distance from now on, and don't worry about her attitude. Just be yourself. Everything is just a cloud. "It's okay for her to digest her own emotions." The attitude of some other people in handling things: "No! Why do you have to be so arrogant? You must make it clear to your face!"

Based on the accumulation of study in the past two years, I know in my heart that the voice of the elders This is the correct attitude to deal with this matter. I should write down the elder's words in a book and let it serve as a calming needle in my consciousness to save myself from thinking all the time. But because of laziness, I didn't write anything, and I just let all kinds of ideas fight in my mind endlessly.

The next day, which is embarrassing to say the least, I tried to show my kindness to her several times, but she still rejected me thousands of miles away. For a while, I had the urge to argue with her. When I walked up to her and said a word, her neither soft nor hard, lukewarm attitude instantly made me feel that everything was unnecessary, so I walked back to myself in a depressed manner. I sat down on my seat, and the unyielding breath and fire were like a big stone, blocking the pit of my heart, making it uncomfortable.

The next few days were very busy at work, and b often went to the office next door to stay, while I was busy with my own affairs. Immediately after the company went on holiday, this unprovoked conflict ended.

I don’t know how b felt about this incident later, but I still can’t let it go. At first I cared about her coldness towards me, but now I regret my lack of composure. This heart is like water in a glass, it keeps sloshing at the slightest external force.

I met a during the holiday, and she asked about it. I was very excited when she said it, and the dissatisfaction and anger that had been suppressed in my heart surged out like a dam bursting. α smiled and said lightly: "She's not normal. You can't take anything she says or does seriously." The implication is, isn't it that I'm making a fuss out of a molehill and asking for trouble?

Living in this life is not easy! You have to deal with all kinds of people, and you have to have different attitudes and skills when dealing with all kinds of people. This is really a profound knowledge! For a stupid person like me, I can't learn skills and methods. I can only grasp one purpose: be yourself, and don't doubt or hurt yourself because of other people's attitudes. You have endless changes, but I have certain rules. When dealing with others, you really need to have the determination to "go your own way and let others have their say", and never "go other people's way and let yourself have their say". Afterwards, your lack of principles and independent opinions made people regret even more.