1.

A soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine during combat? The company commander was very angry: Damn, what can we do? If you step on it, you will be compensated according to the price.

2.

It’s been a long time since Mo received your message

I feel very sad

I want to die

Cut my veins with potato chips

Hit my head with tofu

Jumped over a building with a parachute

Hung myself with noodles

Yes Du Mo is dead

Just treat me to a meal

Forget it until I die

3.

If you feel sad If you are interested, please call me! If you want to talk about love, please press 1, if you want to talk about work, please press 2, if you want to talk about life, please press 3, if you want to introduce someone to me, please press 5, if you want to ask me to eat, please say so, if you want to borrow money from me, please hang up.

4.

The giraffe married the monkey, and a year later the giraffe filed for divorce: I don’t want to live this kind of life anymore! The monkey was furious: Just leave! Who has ever seen someone climb a tree to get a kiss?

5.

Fish said: "I open my eyes all the time in order to be by your side and never leave." Water said: "I flow tirelessly all day long in order to surround you. Pick you up properly." Guo said, "You are so stubborn even though you are almost done."

6.

Have you eaten? Please receive text message. The elephant defecated in the middle of the road. An ant happened to be passing by. It looked up at the mist-shrouded peak and couldn't help but sing: Ya La Suo, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau! ~~~~

7.

You have grown up, and there are some things you should know: the sky is for wind and rain; the earth is for Flowers and grass grow; I am used to prove how great human beings are; you are used to stew vermicelli.

8.

When you check in at the railway station but don’t have any paper, don’t worry, the train will remind you: wipe your pants, wipe your pants, wipe your pants! When you are playing tuba by the river but don’t have any paper, don’t worry, the frog will tell you: stick scrape, stick scrape, stick scrape!

9.

Money can buy a house but not a home, it can buy a marriage but not love, it can buy a clock but not time. Money is not everything, but It is the source of pain. Give me your money and let me bear the pain alone!

10.

Oh my God, it’s too blue! The sea is too salty! Life is so difficult! Work is so boring! I am destined to be with you! Miss you, sleepless! It’s too far to see you! Alas, what can I do? I miss you so much that I can’t eat with my chopsticks or swallow my bowl!