An ascetic? A monk? Or a Taoist priest with a robe and a hairpin on his head?

I will think about myself and the career I want to pursue. Life can be described as practice, but how many people are practicing themselves? How many people are still studying after 30? If you are asked where you have seen the person who loves to study in China, I'd say it's Shenzhen. If there is any profession in this world that can urge you to live and learn. There must be a career as a counselor.

Everyone is a different individual. Every visitor is different. Every era has different psychology, and every era has different diseases. Excuse me, if you want to make a living by this profession. Do you want to update your knowledge base at any time? Of course, if you want to be comfortable, I'm sorry, this profession is not suitable for you.

Psychological counselor, who knows astronomy above and geography below. Psychological counselors know the ancients before and the present after. Psychological counselors know both psychology and pharmacology. Counselors should be good at asking questions and be polite. Psychological counselors need to know how to communicate and have routines. Psychological counselors should be aware of the crisis and take precautions. As the saying goes, if you go to the kitchen under the hall, you will get Sun Erniang if you can kill a tiger.

Psychological counselor, high-paying occupation. A teacher told us not to be consultants, 300 yuan an hour. Do it if you want, 2000 yuan an hour. Alternatively, it can be charged according to the percentage of tourists' property. Wow ... if I meet a richest man, I will make a fortune even if I take a share of my property. Is it exciting?

Haha, it's good to have a good dream. But we still have to get back to reality. Look at yourself. Which floor of the pagoda did you build?

In Liu's class, what impressed me the most and touched me the most was the elements of establishing a good consulting relationship. Respect, enthusiasm, sincerity, affection and active attention. Are these five words familiar? Yes, I am familiar with it, but if I really want to do it, I have to practice for a long time.

First of all, the respect for visitors must be completely accepted, that is to say, no matter whether the other person is gay or ugly, whether the other person smells like body odor or pungent perfume, whether the other person is elegant or rude, we should treat the visitors equally, and we should not show partiality and despise the visitors. Or, flatter a visitor whose social status is higher than yours. I asked myself, what can I do now? I can do it without flattery, but when I take the subway every morning, I can't smell others and hear their noise. I will be embarrassed for a long time when I see someone in the passers-by dressed inappropriately. If my visitor is like this, can I accept it just because he pays me? Maybe you think you can do it for money. I don't think so. The root causes of psychological problems are maladjustment, conflicts in visitors' minds and the psychological maladjustment of counselors to visitors. How can we have enough energy to help each other solve their maladjustment?

After asking myself, I silently put off my long-term plan for another year. I once told my students that life is work and work is a part of life. Receiving visitors is a part of a consultant's life. Problems come from life, and we have to go back to life to solve them. Only by tempering your heart in life can you have more energy to solve the inner problems of visitors.

Later, on my way home from school, pedestrians passed by me. I'll observe their behavior characteristics one by one. I ask myself what I can and can't accept. Yes, to what extent? Why not? When you find your inner conflict, many problems can be solved. I can't accept others smoking, because I hate my bad smell. I think from another angle, if I regard these smells as setbacks in life, it is equally inevitable. It seems that the heart of acceptance has reached a new level. So I believe that people who study psychology have a determination to constantly improve themselves.

We have accepted it completely, and we must treat each other with courtesy. When it comes to gifts, I can think of many things, such as dressing appropriately is a gift, eyebrow shaping is a gift, elegance is a gift, and being approachable is also a gift. Appearance, appearance and manners are the most basic manners. When I first took a psychology course, Professor Yue Xiaodong said that a counselor should dress appropriately. I think I'm well dressed. But I am confused about this dress. As soon as I put on my professional clothes, I was very serious. The role of the teacher was immediately replaced. Now think about yourself, not as a consultant for visitors, but as a teacher for others. When I was wondering, I remembered that I trained myself to sit and stand in order to learn manners. Practice your standing posture and gestures in front of the mirror every day. Move the comfortable chair away at work and practice sitting posture with a hard stool. From standard sitting posture to elegance. Sometimes leg cramps. Finally, I also practiced it. Smiling can also be practiced. Practice smiling in front of the mirror, deliberately slow down when talking to friends, and jump out of a part of your brain to remind yourself to remember to smile. This method can still be tried. I also recommend this method to you. You are reading an article, and you want to cultivate yourself.

Wanting to be a psychological counselor is really a contest with life!

Teacher Liu Zhi Ya said that he was once pointed at himself by a tourist. The students present were frightened. Seriously, do you still want me to trust each other in this situation? It's silly to think about it. But the facts tell me that what happened can't be the reason why you don't trust visitors. Didn't Mr. Liu also handle this matter properly? When Mr. Liu pointed a knife at himself, was there any trust besides verbal skills? Because of trust and distrust, the power of language expression is different. Trust won't make us believe everything about each other. Trust is a good medicine for us to open our hearts and accept each other. Visitors also have a distrust attitude towards consultants at first. If the counselor doesn't trust the visitor, then distrust and distrust are like two negative poles, which will definitely repel each other. It is normal for visitors not to trust consultants. If the counselor maintains the most basic trust in the visitors, the energy of trust can accommodate the visitors. Thereby affecting his trust in you. I think counselors should regard trust as a habit and then as a character. Not as a skill. Because trust comes from the heart and has nothing to do with skill. Trusting the visitor is also trusting yourself, and trusting yourself can handle his problems well.

I don't think paparazzi can be consultants. Because consultants have to protect the privacy of visitors. The visitor tells you a secret that you have never heard of. I asked myself if I could keep it. Keeping a secret is something that consumes your heart. When I was a child, I liked to reveal other people's secrets. Later, I didn't want to listen to other people's secrets, because I felt guilty that I couldn't keep them. So I just don't gossip. When you were a child, did you hear the story that the king had a pair of donkey ears? It's about a barber who found out that the king had a pair of donkey ears, but he couldn't tell anyone, so he had to dig a hole in the wild and tell the secret to the hole. Therefore, keeping a secret is also tricky. Judging from my current training, it is best if I am strong enough to keep a secret. If not, can you ask the supervisor to let it go? Seems like a good choice. I remember teacher Liu asking a question, is it absolute to keep a secret? It seems that my reaction was faster at that time, not absolute. If the visitor's secret involves suicide, murder and arson. Life-threatening, violating the law, we can't keep it completely secret, but we should start crisis intervention.

I almost forgot that all respect is based on sincerity. So the pagoda practices another level-sincerity. The superego believes that "sincerity is an attitude, sincerity is also a trait, sincerity is a skill, and sincerity is a habit." Let sincerity be your personality. "But to be honest, at first, it may be difficult for us to treat tourists completely sincerely. Teacher Liu said, "Sincerity has no defensive disguise, nor does it hide itself behind a professional role, nor does it wear a mask, nor does it play a role or routine. But to be consistent in appearance and really put yourself in the relationship with visitors. "That is to say, sincerity is seeking truth from facts. Sincerely express your thoughts and feelings in order to verify with visitors. There is a saying like this: "some of your words and deeds are likely to cause misunderstandings and contradictions among some people." I wonder if I feel this way right? "I said is seeking truth from facts.

But it should be noted that sincerity does not mean telling the truth. Maybe that's what I think in my heart. "People don't like you, not only because you have a personality problem, but because you don't know how to reflect." But can I say this to the visitors? No, so with the above sentence, expression immediately becomes art. Later, "sincerity is not equal to telling the truth" was practiced by students while eating fruit. It seems that this sentence is the most impressive classic saying. This classic sentence, put in life, is also the art of communication. So practice and return to life.

I want to practice the first level of Mishima-enthusiasm. What is hospitality? I have heard of hospitality, that is, you are called as soon as you enter the door, and you are welcome in the guest officer. Guest, what would you like to eat? Do you want me to greet visitors like this? Oh, no! It must not be like this. That's passion. I am a serious person in front of strangers. How can we cultivate our enthusiasm? I feel so hard for a moment. But think with opposing thinking. What is indifference? People who are not enthusiastic will not take the initiative to say hello, pay attention or show goodwill. In other words, seeing visitors greet and care actively will naturally bring them closer, thus establishing a warm image in their hearts. However, we should also remember that enthusiasm begins and ends, and we can't just be satisfied with enthusiasm and then become indifferent. Think about it, visitors come to the consulting room for the first time. For him, this is strange, sensitive and uncomfortable. Think again. When I was a child, I went to other people's homes and looked so helpless. But once someone takes the initiative to have a relationship with you, it seems that this incompatibility can be eliminated a lot. As a generation, I seem to understand enthusiasm easily. Teacher Liu said that respect is rational and enthusiasm is emotional. Respect is to keep a distance, reason is to close the distance. The combination of the two can be meaningful and harmonious.

The fourth key to establishing a good consulting relationship is * * * love. This reminds me of the first episode of Ask Your Heart, where a visitor kept crying. * * * Do you want me to cry with her? Of course, crying to each other is indeed a manifestation of * * *. But I don't think it should be the performance of a counselor's sense of * * *. With regard to * * * emotion, I quite agree with these three concepts: 1, the psychological counselor goes deep into the other person's heart to experience his feelings and thoughts with the help of the words and deeds of the helper; 2. With the help of knowledge and experience, the consultant grasps the relationship between the experience of the helper and his experience and personality, and better understands the essence of the problem; 3. Counselors use consulting skills to convey their feelings to each other, thus influencing each other and getting feedback. From here, I see three steps to train my emotional ability. First, observe the words and deeds of visitors and feel their emotions and thoughts; Second, use your own experience to connect the feelings of visitors; The third is to convey your feelings to visitors with skills, so that the other party can feel their sincerity and the visitors can continue to talk. * * * Emotion is a very important ability of a counselor. To realize * * * love, I don't blindly agree with each other. If you only use * * * love, you will still be seen through by visitors and thus fail to achieve sincere results. My affection for * * * is also the focus of my future practice. After all, I can't have anything to do with everyone's thoughts at present. Maybe with a little life experience, it seems easier to feel each other's feelings.

In my life, I have met some people who will tell me what you should do and let go of your obsession. You are still young, you should look forward; You are a woman, so it's better to be gentle. Looking back on the feelings at that time, it is hard to accept. Now that I think about it, this is not the practice of * * *. * * * Love is not telling others what to do, nor directly telling others how you are, but standing in the other person's perspective and feeling his inner thoughts. Which reminds me. In my sister's marriage, I always told her that you should be filial to your mother-in-law, you should be good to your husband, and you should ...; I said a lot about what you should do, but it didn't go as far as I took it for granted. So I began to reflect. Starting today, I will change my point of view. Look at the problem, the world and yourself from each other's point of view.

The fifth point of establishing a good consulting relationship-active attention. There is one thing I have to confess. This is blind optimism. I often tell others that the present will pass and the future will be better. In fact, no one knows what will happen in the future, but when I still want to give each other a positive attitude, I will be blindly optimistic first. The future will be better. What time? A year? Three years? Or ten years? Now that I think about it, it seems to be a temporary good thing if the other person believes in you and the future. But if this belief can't support her to a better time in her future life, my blind optimism won't hit him. Therefore, the focus of active attention is to take facts as the basis and affirm each other's behavior and quality in facts. Next time, I want to say to my sister, "Over the years, you have taken care of your two children without regrets, and you didn't scold them as a burden when you were in the most difficult time." I really like you. " ?

After teacher Liu finished class, I looked at my two children. I want to establish a good relationship, and respect, sincerity, enthusiasm, * * * affectionate and positive. I want to start with the people around me. Let these abilities become my habit, my personality, and influence people around me, thus helping more people in need. The practice of psychological counselors is a long process. Although I'm not a counselor yet, I'm already on the road of practicing as a counselor. The road to practice is very long. As long as we keep Sanzang's faith in learning from the scriptures, this practice will be successful.

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Sit in bed and reflect.