2. The complicated letter of the heroine's sexual psychology and marital psychology.
In my restless dream, I saw the small town, Silent Hill.
You promised that you would take me again one day.
But you never did.
Now I'm there alone ...
In our "special place" ...
Wait for you. ...
Waiting for you to meet me.
But you never did.
So I waited, wrapped in a cocoon of pain and loneliness.
I know I did a terrible thing to you. Something you'll never forgive me for.
I wish I could change that, but I can't.
Lying here waiting for you, I feel so pitiful and ugly. ...
Every day I stare at the crack in the ceiling, and all I can think about is how unfair it is. ...
The doctor came today.
He told me that I could go home for a while.
It's not that I'm getting better
It's just that this may be my last chance. ...
I think you know what I mean. ...
Still, I'm glad to be home. I miss you very much.
But I'm afraid of James.
I'm afraid you don't really want me to go home.
Whenever you come to see me, I know how difficult it is for you. ...
I don't know whether you hate me or pity me. ...
Or am I just making you sick? ...
I'm sorry about that.
When I first learned that I was dying, I just didn't want to accept it.
I've always been angry. I hit all my favorite people.
Especially you, James.
So I understand whether you hate me or not.
But I want you to know, James
I will love you forever.
Even if our life together has to end like this, I will not trade it for the world.
We had a wonderful few years together.
Well, this letter has been written for too long, so I have to say goodbye.
I asked the nurse to give this to you after I died.
This means that when you read this letter, I will be dead.
I can't tell you to remember me, but I can't stand you forgetting me.
In the past few years since I became ill ... I apologize for everything I have done to you and to us. ...
You gave me so much, and I didn't return anything.
That's why I want you to live for yourself now and do what's best for you, James.
James ...
You make me happy. ...