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Schopenhauer: Either vulgar or lonely

The wrong way to obtain happiness is to pursue a life of luxury and debauchery. The reason is that we try to turn a miserable life into continuous pleasure, joy and enjoyment. Disillusionment will ensue; and with this life comes the lying and deceiving of each other.

First of all, living among social crowds inevitably requires people to accommodate and tolerate each other; therefore, the larger the gathering of people, the easier it is to become boring. Only when a person is alone can he be fully himself. Anyone who does not love being alone does not love freedom, because only when a person is alone is he free. Restrictions and constraints inevitably accompany social gatherings.

Social gatherings require people to make sacrifices, and the more unique a person is, the harder it is for him or her to make such sacrifices. Therefore, a person's avoidance, tolerance or enjoyment of solitude is in exact proportion to his own value. For when alone a wretch feels all his wretchedness, and a man of rich thoughts only feels his rich thoughts. In a word: one feels only one's own self.

Furthermore, the higher a person's position in the level of nature, the lonelier he will be. This is fundamental and inevitable. If a person's physical loneliness and spiritual loneliness correspond to each other, it will be of great benefit to him. Otherwise, frequent association with people who are different from himself disturbs the mind and robs him of himself, without any compensation for this loss.

Nature has laid down huge moral and intellectual differences between people, but society turns a blind eye to these differences and treats everyone the same. What is more, artificial differences in social status and caste supersede differences set by nature, and the former often run counter to the latter. People who are treated poorly by nature benefit from this arrangement of social life and obtain a good position, while the few people who are favored by nature have their positions devalued. Therefore, the latter type of people always avoid social gatherings. And once every social gathering becomes crowded, mediocrity reigns. The reason why social gatherings can be harmful to people of superior intelligence is because everyone is given equal rights, which leads to equal rights and demands for everything, despite their differences in talents.

The next result is: people ask others to recognize that they have made equal achievements and contributions to society. The so-called upper class society recognizes a person's advantages in other aspects, but refuses to recognize a person's spiritual and ideological advantages; they even resist advantages in this area. Society constrains us to show endless patience with stupidity, stupidity, and abnormality, but a person with a superior personality must ask others to forgive him; or he must hide his superiority because the superiority is outstanding. The very existence of a spiritual thought constitutes harm to others, even though it has no intention of doing so.

The disadvantage of so-called "genteel" social gatherings, therefore, is not only that they provide us with people whom we are unlikely to admire and like, but that they also do not allow us to express ourselves in our natural way. ;On the contrary, it forces us to distort and shrink ourselves in order to cater to others. Deep conversations and thoughtful words belong only in gatherings of thoughtful people. There is an absolute aversion to intellectual conversation in general and mediocre social gatherings. Therefore, to please others in such social situations, it is absolutely necessary to make yourself mediocre and narrow. Therefore, in order to achieve the purpose of being like and compatible with others, we can only reject most of ourselves.

Of course, at this price, we gain the favor of others. But the more valuable a person is, the more he will find that the gains outweigh the losses. This is simply a loss-making business. People are often unable to repay their debts; they impose upon us boredom, annoyance, unhappiness, and self-denial for which they cannot compensate. Most social gatherings are of this nature. By giving up such social gatherings in exchange for solitude, we would be doing a shrewd business.

Furthermore, since real, spiritual superiority is rarely found in social gatherings, a false, worldly convention based on Something based on a rather arbitrary principle as a sign of some kind of superiority - it is passed on traditionally in high-class social circles, like a code word that can be changed at any time. This is what people call fashion or fashion. However, when this advantage collides with a person's real advantage, it immediately shows its weakness. And, "When fashion comes in, common sense goes out."

Roughly speaking, a person can only achieve the most perfect harmony with himself, not with his friends or spouse, because people are not in perfect harmony with each other. Differences in personality and temperament will certainly bring about some incongruities, even if they are only slight. Therefore, complete and true inner peace and tranquility of feeling - which is the supreme gift in this world after health - can only be found when a person is alone; and to maintain this for a long time In terms of state of mind, you can only live in seclusion and simplicity.

In this way, if a person is both great and rich in himself, then he can enjoy the happiest situation that can be found in this poor world. Indeed, we can say this: friendship, love and honor closely connect people together, but in the final analysis people can only honestly place their hope on themselves, or at most on their children. Due to objective or subjective conditions, the less a person needs to deal with people, the better his situation will be.

The disadvantages of loneliness are obvious, if not immediately noticeable, to us; in contrast, the disadvantages of social life are hidden: recreation, gossip, and other forms of interaction with others Pleasure hides great, often irreparable harm. One of the first lessons young people need to learn is to endure loneliness, because loneliness is the source of happiness and peace. It can be seen from this that only those who rely on themselves and can realize themselves in all things are the best people. Therefore, Cicero said, "A man who relies entirely on himself and everything that can be called his own exists within himself cannot be unhappy.