The Power of Appreciation

In the past few days, I have been introducing a book to parents. This book is called "Appreciating Your Children". My parents didn't take it to heart at first. Yesterday, my parents accidentally found this book on the Internet and read it in one sitting. My mother told me, "After reading this book, I only feel shocked in two words! I also deeply appreciate your good intentions!"

This book is about the education expert Zhou Hong story. Zhou Hong said that he was "unfortunate to have a fall, but fortunate to have picked up a treasure." It turns out that Professor Zhou unfortunately gave birth to a deaf-mute daughter. In the process of educating his daughter, Professor Zhou realized the inseparable truth between education and life. Not only do we value our children, but we also look at them from the perspective of life, which inspires our love for life and pursuit of the value of life. Under his appreciative gaze, his daughter grew from a deaf-mute child with no self-confidence to a girl full of self-confidence, able to communicate and live freely in the world of sound. He became a young college student at the age of 16 and was named one of the "Top Ten Teenagers" in the country.

In my memory, since I was in the third grade, there were rarely "sunny days" at home. The reason was that my mother always suspected that my academic performance was poor! In the eyes of her mother, the only way for a girl to get ahead in society is to study well, go to college, and gain fame. Under our current education system, the entire family is full of complaints and scoldings against us. Parents are frowning all day long, while happiness, liveliness and confidence are far away from us.

Yes, how much we need encouragement and praise from our parents, even just one sentence! I always couldn't remember my poems. After these few days of hard work, I finally made some progress. My mother said to me: "Yes, there is progress." I clapped my hands and said happily: "Mom, you finally praised me! I will definitely learn poetry well in the future!" After hearing my words, my mother almost burst into tears! A casual compliment will greatly increase our confidence! It has been a long time since you have looked at your children with admiring eyes. It was this kind of gaze that surrounded us when we were young and filled our hearts with warmth. It has been a long time since you praised your children for being smart and beautiful. This is what we really feel in our hearts. required.

Being good at seeing our strengths and being generous with words of praise will not only make us happy, but also make you feel happy!

Appreciate your children, appreciate every bit of our progress, and let us always be confident, so growth is more important than scores! Give your children more encouraging words, give us more trusting eyes, give us more understanding smiles, and give us more kind touches! Then, we will grow up happily!

Reading accompanies my mother and I to grow up

I never thought that my mother, whom my father and I jokingly called "a man of learning and talent," would be defeated by ten people in one day. years old in front of me.

That day, I watched my classmate's "Robinson Crusoe" in school, which was very interesting. After returning home from school, as soon as I put down my schoolbag, I happily ran to my mother and said to my mother: "Mom, do you know who 'Friday' is?"

"Friday is Saturday's brother. "My mother put down the book in her hand and said casually.

I was anxious, grabbed my mother's book, and said seriously: "I don't even know 'Friday'. Let me tell you, 'Friday' is a person, and it is a character in "Robinson Crusoe" A character."

"There is indeed such a book as Robinson Crusoe. I have heard of it but have not read it," my mother said.

"You are such an old person and you haven't even read this book. You are out." I didn't expect that my mother, who knew everything in my eyes, had never read this book. The tone seemed a bit contemptuous.

My mother didn’t speak, but looked at me with a smile, thoughtfully.

When I came home from school the next day, I found a brand new copy of "Robinson Crusoe" on the coffee table in the living room. My mother sat aside and said with a smile: "Son, my mother was defeated yesterday. Today we compete again." That night, my mother and I discussed this book until midnight. I was so happy. In just one day, my mother finished reading this book. My mother is amazing.

A few days later, my mother said to me while reading: "Son, do you know who Paul Korchagin is?"

I have never heard of this. Man, I’m confused. Mom smiled. Then asked: "Do you know Ostrovsky?"

Because my mother said it quickly, the name made me laugh. I shook my head and asked my mother where she was from.

My mother was very mysterious and said with a smile: "Want to know? The answer is in this book." She took out a book from her back, titled "How Steel Was Tempered". Eager to know the answer, I grabbed it and read it eagerly. From this book, I got to know Paul and Zhu Helai... I remembered that famous saying, "The most precious thing for a person is life..."

In the days to come, I I often compete with my mother about my feelings about reading. Under my mother's influence, I became obsessed with red works; under my "guidance", my mother became obsessed with children's books. Reading accompanies my mother and I to grow up.

For parents

Be tolerant of others and happy yourself

My son is in fifth grade this year. His academic performance has always been good, he is also very smart and lively, and he never has to worry about me. . But recently, for some reason, I always look unhappy and worried when I come home from school. Sometimes there are scars on my neck or hands. I know something must have happened at school. But I asked him several times, but he refused to tell me.

One day, the child came back dejectedly, with a few scratches on his neck. I know something must have happened at school. I took his hand and sat down on the sofa and asked him softly what was wrong. His eyes were red as he spoke to me. It turns out that there was a guy named Han Tao in their class who was very poor at studying and very naughty. During class this afternoon, while the teacher was away, he hit my son on the head with a book and said, "Can you beat me in a fight?" When my son didn't say anything, he continued to hit his head again and said: "You can live," the son said, "I can't beat you." When he saw that his son wouldn't fight with him, he took his book and tore it up. The son became anxious, and the two of them fought. As a result, the son was scratched several times on his neck. After listening to the narration, I looked at my son's aggrieved look and felt terribly distressed. I couldn't bear it anymore for such a smart and well-behaved child to be bullied like this, so I said to my son: "Mom will handle this matter for you. I will take care of it tomorrow." Go to school and look for him. If he dares to bully you again, you will beat him hard and mom will take care of you!" After this incident passed, I didn't take it to heart.

One day, while reading in the library with my son, I accidentally saw the book "A Good Mother is Better than a Good Teacher" by the famous education expert Yin Jianli. I borrowed it home and studied it carefully. When I saw personality eight "tolerance and generosity" in the third chapter of "Twelve Personalities that Smart Mothers Must Give to Their Children", I knew that I handled the matter wrongly last time. If a child is bullied, parents should first investigate the truth of the matter and negotiate with the other parent and teacher to resolve the matter. They must not impulsively scold the other party, let alone ask their children to fight back with "fists." On the long road of life, friction and conflicts between people are inevitable, and handling them calmly is the best policy. The way a mother handles problems when her children are young will leave a deep impression on them and have a great impact on their children's lives.

So, I found an appropriate time to talk to my son. I said: Is Han Tao still beating you now? The son said: "Don't hit me anymore, but he ignores me and I ignore him." "I said slowly: "Actually, my mother was a little anxious when we dealt with this matter last time. Later, I investigated and found that Han Tao was joking with you that day. He didn't have any ill intentions, he was just a little naughty and not as sensible as my son. I know that Han Tao has been without a mother since he was a child, has never received maternal love, and has no one to discipline him well, so he is so naughty. You see, he is very pitiful. Even if he accidentally makes a mistake, we must forgive him and help him correct his mistake, okay? "The son nodded sensibly. When I saw that the child had figured it out, I further educated him and said: "No gold is pure, and no one is perfect. It is inevitable for human nature to have shortcomings and deficiencies. When interacting with classmates and getting along with friends, there is no need to demand full blame. As long as the shortcomings of classmates and friends are not qualitative or anti-social, there is no need to worry about everything. Forgive someone one more time, give others tolerance and understanding one more time, and you will find yourself in a good mood, and it will also make you feel that you have taken another step forward on the road to perfecting your personality. "Then one day, my son told me that Han Tao had forgotten to bring his pen that day, so his son gave him his pen so that he didn't have to return it. Han Tao was very grateful to him and said thank you repeatedly. From then on, the two of us returned the pen. We have become a good partner. My son is no longer worried and has become the happy and lively child again.

Tolerance is a very precious emotion, which affects a child's personality. Healthy development, especially healthy emotional development, is of great significance to the establishment of good interpersonal relationships in children. Teaching children to be tolerant is not only for children to handle relationships with classmates today, but also to lay the foundation for children's future happiness. Of course, parents must let their children understand that tolerance is not cowardice or blind obedience. It is about giving in to classmates and friends after distinguishing right from wrong, rather than compromising on bad people and bad things. Therefore, parents should teach their children to learn to be tolerant, tolerate others, and be happy themselves.

Building the path to achieve dreams

——Some thoughts on family education

Family education is the cornerstone of school education and is related to the success or failure of educational work. Every parent should If we study it as a life topic, the flower of education will bloom more brilliantly.

1. Educate children to be pampered but not coquettish, to be strict but not cruel, to be indulgent but not indulgent, and to teach but not repudiate.

It is human nature to love children very much, but they should not be spoiled or let things go their own way. Parents should teach their children by words and deeds, and they should be strict in their education. It is unscientific to use simple and crude methods to produce filial sons under a stick, because after the passion has passed, it will not only hurt the relationship between the children and their parents, but also make the parents regretful. The children must be given a certain amount of free space and time to control themselves. , but it is necessary to grasp the direction of children's thoughts so that their behavior does not deviate and they can develop happily and healthily.

When educating children, they should be well-informed, teach them rationally, and move them emotionally. Do not be arrogant or reprimand loudly at every turn.

2. Educate children to achieve "three emphasis and three lightness".

1. Emphasis on process over results.

Children’s development and growth is a gradual and gradual process. They are young, have little experience, and have a weak ability to distinguish right from wrong. They are tempted by negative phenomena in society, and their thoughts and behaviors can easily deviate from the track of healthy development. In terms of learning, he has poor initiative and has a mentality of completing the task. Parents should observe frequently, detect early, and provide more guidance to protect their healthy growth. Children's thinking will be correct, their enthusiasm for learning will be high, and their academic performance will improve. Therefore, parents do not need to be too serious about their children's academic results. It is enough to just focus on their children's development process.

2. Emphasize communication over preaching.

“There is no colorful phoenix flying in the body, but there is a clear understanding in the heart.” This is a famous sentence by Li Shangyin, a poet of the Tang Dynasty, describing the heart-to-heart connection between young men and women. Physiologists believe that due to the inheritance of genetic information between human parents and children, their spiritual communication is far more direct and tacit than that between young men and women in love. Talk to your children before going to bed, take a walk with them after meals, and have fun with them in your free time. You will quickly get into the depths of their hearts and understand what they are thinking and where their confusion lies. I believe you are far away from education. The good boy is only one step away. And those inappropriate mumblings and hard nagging that are out of touch with the child's thoughts will definitely make the child bored. They will bury their true thoughts deep in their hearts and will not reveal a word to you. Educating children will become like a tiger gnawing at the sky. No place to lower my teeth.

3. Emphasize vertical development over horizontal comparison.

A child’s growth trajectory from the time he is babbling is rarely a straight line. Most of the growth trajectories are detours or even regressions at a certain period or several periods. This is natural and normal. As a parent, there is no need to be nervous and anxious. Getting up again after falling is the greatest characteristic of children. This kind of rolling and crawling will make them stronger, stand up straighter and more stable, and walk faster and further. Parents should pay attention to their children's unyielding and stubbornness, pursuits and dreams, and the light of reason in the difficult journey. No matter when and where you are, you must tell your children that you are the best. Under your encouragement and inspiration, your children will definitely put difficulties under their feet and go well all the way. Every child has its own shortcomings. Don’t use other people’s children as an example, compare them with your own children, and say how your children are not good or bad. Everyone has self-esteem, and a child's childish mind cannot withstand your blows and destruction, and his high-spirited mind may be nipped in the bud without your notice.

In short, high-quality family education requires parents to have broad love and high enthusiasm, so that they can connect with their children's hearts, so that children can grow up healthily in an environment full of trust, harmony and joy.