This incident surprised me. Can't a woman love two men at the same time?
Loving one person is already very heavy, but also loving two people at the same time? For @ An An, this means that the entanglement and struggle that can't be given up are by no means two happiness that can be added together.
I've been having a threesome with Ming and Jian for almost three years. They love her one, but she loves them both. If these two kinds of love are light and heavy, deep and shallow, Ann will make a decision more easily, but she feels that she loves them equally. I tried to give up one, but @ An An said, "It's too difficult. I can't stand the heartbreak of any of them. " @ An An can do nothing but delay indefinitely.
How contradictory, one heart is given to two people. In this era, is such an emotional state universal or an emotional game of a few people?
Some media once said, "Have you ever loved two people at the same time?" Collecting witnesses, a large number of letters from female readers flooded into the mailbox.
@ Lonely Bird Branch said that her two boyfriends are only half ideal boyfriends. @ Yanyu hesitated between a China man and a foreign man: "They each have their own advantages, so it is difficult to compare." It seems that there are many more couples in the trio than we thought!
Some psychologists believe that no matter the love we give to two people or the love we get from two people, it is obviously completely different, and it is impossible to love two people at the same time.
"In fact, you have fallen in love with the new one. You don't want to accept that you are an ungrateful person, but rather believe that you love two people at the same time. " Guo Yu, a senior psychologist in the French magazine New Observer, thinks so.
"These two kinds of coexisting love are not what we mean by love in the core sense." Wang Yuru, a psychological counselor, said: "Classic love is exclusive, and your love can only be given to one person. I think maybe you don't love two people, just two different needs. If you don't love both, just put them together. "
Wang Yuru reminds everyone that when people say they love two people at the same time, they may not mean the same emotion. "Everyone has different definitions of love and different needs for love. People use different words to express their love. It is very likely that everyone is talking about different feelings. "
Psychologist Jia Xiaoming believes that it is a very common phenomenon to love two people at the same time: "It is difficult for one person to have all the beautiful things that everyone has to meet all the inner needs of another person. In addition, as you grow up, your inner needs are also changing. When you have new needs, you may need another person to meet them. Therefore, falling in love with more than two people is a normal psychological phenomenon from a psychological point of view. "
Liu Duanhai, a psychological counselor, believes that if there are no institutional and cultural constraints, our nature is of course to love two or more at the same time. "Loving two people at the same time, in many cases, are two complementary and similar spiritual and material needs. In addition, everyone will have a triple self of' parents and me',' adults and me' and' children and me', and different loves correspond to and fill different self-needs. "
In the eyes of other psychologists, falling in love with two people at the same time has a deeper psychological meaning.
"Our society is still living in the dream of monogamy, and we hope to have such a unique person: he can meet all our expectations of love, and in turn we are all his. Isn't this the father-son relationship? In a partnership, women will put the other half in the father's position, so they will never be satisfied and full of complaints. "
Psychoanalyst Didier Duma said that some people may not realize that they don't think that a person should not fall in love with two people at the same time, but just think that a woman should not fall in love with two men at the same time.
In the era when concubinage was legal, China people accepted that a man fell in love with two women at the same time, or even more. For people who have buried this kind of "collective unconsciousness" in a corner of their minds, once they hear that a woman has fallen in love with two men at the same time, it seems that this woman has transcended morality and is full of wild desires.
When it comes to morality, I always quote a philosopher's famous saying: "Morality varies from place to place." Over a mountain ridge, morality may become immoral, and immorality may also become morality.
At some point in a woman's life, she is likely to encounter the emotional dilemma of "falling in love with two men at the same time". She is inseparable from him, and she carefully maintains a relative balance and emotional input with him. This situation will make any woman crazy.
"I think I am selfish. I can only return half my love. I can't discuss marriage and house with any of them, nor can I establish a two-person world with any of them. I am hurting others and hurting myself. " Xia Jing even thinks that she is an immoral woman.
@ Hometown mantra is also blaming myself: "I am the most playboy in Gemini in the constellation, and I need at least two lovers; I asked my friends to analyze my personality, and they all said that I was a typical dual personality, and every aspect of me needed to be richly satisfied. I accepted my contradictory love. In fact, my heart is not calm. "
Red is more guilty, and both boyfriends think that she is the only one. "I asked two people for what I wanted. I'm sorry for anyone. I'm greedy inside ... "@ HongHong is always worried about being exposed. What if three people meet in a dramatic time and space? She dare not imagine.
"If a person wants to maintain two emotions, it will definitely lead to inner psychological conflicts and troubles." Jia Xiaoming said: "Because our society has rules."
Indeed, in our time, people's demand for stability, security and loyalty has always existed. Even if others don't blame us, we will torture our hearts, and it is difficult to enjoy the happiness of falling in love twice.
What is the ending of the three-person dance? In a novel or movie, the writer or director usually arranges the death of one or two protagonists as the ending.
In Zhou Yu's Train, Zhou Yu, who shuttled between them, was arranged by director Sun Zhou to fall off a cliff and die. Wasn't she killed by our desire for security and loyalty? If you play with fire, you'd better pay the price-this is our collective projection, and I hope the screenwriter and director will help us realize it.
What will happen in real life? Contrary to people's self-evident secret expectation, some people can successfully dance for a long time without causing any tragedy. The cat drinking coffee is like this: "I have a good husband and a soul mate." They are the two favorite members of the opposite sex in my life. I am very satisfied with their accompanying growth. "
This reminds me of previous reports that a woman in India has five husbands, and all five are brothers. A woman chooses a different man to sleep every day. The woman said, "My love for the five brothers is sincere, equal and without any prejudice." It is reported that they already have a child, but it has not yet been determined which brother's flesh and blood.
Can this relationship last a lifetime? Liu Duanhai, a psychological counselor, said: "Triangle relationship is physically stable, but it is unlikely to be stable for a long time in human partnership. There's always a corner commotion. After all, we all want to be loyal. "
If it is a painful three-person dance, psychological counselor Wang Zhi suggested: "Give time to choose!" That's true. Many times, many things are time to help us make decisions. Maybe time will stop the three-person dance from spinning, and maybe time will let us see our needs clearly.
Like @ If I have super powers, I have no idea what I want. If one day I have to choose, I will not think about who I love more, but who can make me happier. Maybe, I don't want either! But I definitely don't want to escape, but I want to find my true self again. "