From kindergarten, we began to have the concept of children. Then elementary school, middle school, university...until entering the society. We will meet many people in our life. We talked happily at first, but we regretted meeting each other late. In the end, the relationship gradually faded away, and there are only a few people with whom we can keep in touch.

There is a saying in "The Notes of a Small Window": It is better to be happy at first sight than to stay together for a long time.

If you want to have a long-term relationship, you always need to work hard with each other.

After half a lifetime, I realized that the best way for people to get along with each other generally follows a logic:

Respect is the standard, reliability is sustainable, and kindness is the way to go. lasting.

01

Respect is the standard

Schiller once said a famous saying: "He who does not respect others will not be respected by others."

Respecting others means respecting yourself.

"The Book of Changes" says: "Do not flatter those who are superior to you, and do not be disrespectful to those who are inferior to you."

Do not flatter those who are stronger than yourself, and do not be contemptuous of those who are weaker than yourself.

This is the kindness in a person's heart, as well as a person's personality and cultivation.

I once read the story of the comedy master Chaplin.

During a tour, Chaplin met an audience member who had admired him for a long time.

The two chatted happily, so the audience invited Chaplin to his home.

The other party was a baseball fan. He took Chaplin to visit his baseball collection room and happily introduced various collectibles to Chaplin.

Chaplin smiled the whole time and listened carefully.

After returning home, he immediately contacted a baseball star and asked him to autograph his friend's baseball cap.

People around him felt strange about this, because Chaplin had a quiet nature and was not keen on baseball.

Chaplin said: "Although I don't like baseball, my friends do."

Remembering the words of the philosopher Kant:

"I I respect every independent soul. Although I don’t agree with some of them, I can try my best to understand them.”

Everyone’s experience and position in this world are different.

It is not necessary to seek the same, but to respect each other.

The first thing we have to do when interacting with others is to give them enough respect.

Respect other people’s interests, respect other people’s perspectives, and respect each other’s differences.

"Mencius Li Lou Chapter 2": Those who respect others will always be respected.

Only by knowing how to respect can you win respect.

A gentleman is harmonious but different!

Equal treatment and mutual respect are the most basic rules for interactions between people.

02

Reliable and sustainable

Mr. Yang Jiang said:

“A person’s character is the master of his talent; And talent is just the slave of moral character. ”

The biggest characteristic of people with good moral character is reliability.

Reliability reflects not only a person’s attitude towards doing things, but also a rare moral cultivation.

It is often said now: "To really make friends, you need to find reliable people. Smart people can only chat."

What is reliable?

Someone once made an incisive definition: there is an explanation everywhere, everything is settled, and everything has an echo.

Ren Zhengfei has a famous saying: Use the certainty of the system to fight all kinds of uncertainty. If this sentence were put at the corporate management level, I believe everyone would agree with it.

What is this certainty? I think the first thing is: reliable.

Whether a person is worth dating and whether we can get along with him for a long time often depends on how reliable he is.

I remembered an incident in the courtyard of the Normal University in the 1980s. There is an elder brother who wants to borrow a big car as his work unit organizes a spring outing with a lot of people. It just so happened that a classmate of mine drove a big car in the workplace, and then he volunteered and said, "Our workplace has nothing to do on Saturday. I will drive the car back on Friday night and take you there early Saturday morning." The eldest brother was very happy and informed his colleagues in the work unit that they would gather at the east gate of the normal university family dormitory at six o'clock on Saturday morning.

On Saturday morning, dozens of families arrived at the east gate of the Normal University early, waiting for the bus to arrive. I can't wait for the left, and I can't wait for the right. It's almost seven o'clock, and it hasn't arrived yet. Our eldest brother was anxious. He didn't have a mobile phone at that time, so he hurriedly went to our classmate's house to look for it. As a result, he fainted, and the brother was still sleeping soundly, as if nothing had happened.

By the way, after I went abroad, I learned that this guy was shot because he exchanged a government check of 300,000 for cash and used it himself.

When dealing with such people, not only do you have to be on tenterhooks all the time, but they also cause you to suffer unnecessary losses.

The ancients often said: "A promise is worth a thousand pieces of gold" and "A word is worth a thousand pieces of gold".

A promise is not a word, but something as precious as gold.

The "Book of Changes" says: "He who helps others is trustworthy."

A truly reliable person always does things of faith with a sincere heart.

They don’t promise easily, but once they nod their heads, they will do their best to do it.

Really reliable people have the ability to reassure people.

In this world, there is never a shortage of smart people, but there is a shortage of people who are reliable and down-to-earth.

Reliability has a core element. Accuracy and stability of information. If the information is inaccurate, it will be unreliable; if the information is true and accurate, but the person who implements and delivers it is unstable, it may not be reliable, or it may be biased.

For the rest of your life, you must walk with reliable and down-to-earth people.

At the same time, we must always remind ourselves to be a responsible and reliable person.

Only if you continue to be reliable will you meet friends who are as reliable as you.

03

Honesty leads to long-lasting development

"Shishuo Xinyu" says:

"Victory comes from virtue, and diligence leads to broad deeds." , Small wealth relies on diligence, middle wealth relies on wisdom, and great wealth relies on virtue."

Calculation is not as good as profit sharing, shrewdness is not as good as kindness, and human calculation is not as good as heaven's calculation.

A shrewd person always loses the overall situation for small gains and cuts off his own future; a kind person always sees people's hearts with foresight and fulfills his life.

I have made many friends in my life. Their basic qualities are all good, and most of them are kind and benevolent. However, there are not many people who can think of the other person first and would rather suffer a loss for themselves than let their friends suffer. .

Kindness is not only a practice, but also a habit. A simple and honest smile reflects the generosity and generosity of the heart, which is actually a kind of Buddha's state.

Maintaining a friendship usually requires equal efforts from both parties. If there is bias, no matter how good the relationship is, it will fade away.

As the saying goes: "It is better to be candid than to care, and to be kind is worse than shrewd."

People who really care about you will not only not take advantage of you, but will also think about you.

Someone said: "Appreciating a person begins with appearance, respect for talent, character, kindness, and finally character."

On the long road of life, we will You will meet many people and get to know many people.

But only by associating with people of good character will the relationship become deeper and more stable over time.

Getting along depends on fate; deep friendship depends on character.

People who are kind and have good conduct are the most worthy of our lifelong friendship.

Getting along with others is a practice.

Su Qin once wrote:

Be with whomever you feel comfortable with. Those who can enter my heart, I treat as kings, and those who do not enter my heart, I will not bother to deal with them.

In the final analysis, whether people can get along with each other depends first on whether they respect each other; whether they can have a deep friendship depends mainly on whether they are reliable; whether they can stay together for a long time ultimately depends on the person. How's the quality?

Short-term relationships depend on temperament, and lifelong relationships depend on conduct.

The journey of life is long and winding, and you must walk side by side with the right person.