As the saying goes, "Parents' orders are the words of the matchmaker." Getting married depends more or less on parents' opinions. There are always people around me who break up because of "my father doesn't like my boyfriend" and "my mother doesn't think my girlfriend can do it". Some people even say that "a marriage that is not blessed by parents is doomed to be unhappy". I don't fully agree with this sentence. Because this sentence is an "absolute" expression. Just like many other words, such as "women don't know the way." "Men don't have a good thing." "The college entrance examination will be over after a lifetime." "You can't make money doing what you like." They are all absolute expressions and absolute ways of thinking. There is no absoluteness in everything, and there are exceptions in everything. Once something is absolute, it can be judged to be incorrect.

Morphy once said in If You Are the One: "We often hear people say that marriage is not just a matter for two people, but also a matter for two families. This sentence sounds plausible, but it doesn't make much sense when you think about it. Marriage has something to do with two families, of course, but in the final analysis, it is a decision that you two are willing to come together and live together after you fall in love. Remember everything, I will tell this to my daughter. If one day, no matter what his occupation, education level, family background, whether he is rich or not, whether he is handsome or not, when this man comes home and says that I want to get married, I will go back and listen to my parents' opinions. What happened to them will affect his decision. This man can't marry him because he can't even get married. Not all the love blessed by parents is very good, and not all the love that is not blessed by parents is doomed to be unhappy. In real life, there are also many marriages that are not blessed by parents and live happily. For example, everyone is familiar with the marriage between Zhang Ziyi and Wang Feng. At first, the elder brother and sister-in-law smashed a venue and opposed the two people being together. Later, they registered and got married without hesitation. Now my daughter is so big when she wakes up, and the family is happy together. Zhang Ziyi not only became a mother softened by maternal love, but also reached a new peak in her career, frequently making hot searches. The happiness of marriage has nothing to do with parents' approval. Of course, it is better for your parents to agree to your marriage and to enter the marriage hall with the other half you choose. But if you don't agree, there will be a different situation. The first situation: parents find the bad or hidden parts in your other half. Parents are older than us, and there are more knowledgeable people and unhappy marriages than us. Sometimes you can find the hidden bad places in your other half. After all, in the process of love, everyone will cover up their shortcomings more or less intentionally or unintentionally. At the same time, parents will also have prejudgments, if they don't know enough, or if they don't know enough about your other half in some people's conversations. In this case, it is necessary to communicate with parents and understand their views. If there are hidden points, we should deepen our understanding. If there are misjudgments, we should deepen our communication and clear up misunderstandings. The second situation: that is, parents and you have different emphases on the object of marriage. Everyone is not perfect. The object you want is self-motivated, hardworking, romantic and loving you, but your parents may pay more attention to local hukou, with a house and a car. If this is the case, your parents don't agree. You are you and an independent individual. You can't change the world outlook established by your parents for decades in a short time. Some parents think that your other half will be happy only if you have a good economic foundation. That's very simple. If you resist, you don't need your parents' money, you can buy a house and a car to pay the monthly payment, and at the same time do your duty to support your parents and let them know that you can be very happy.

Of course, all of the above are based on mutual understanding and love. Marriage is a big event, so we must be careful and fully consider it. Although most parents are for the good of their children, after all, no parents will harm their children. From their parents' point of view, they don't mean to obstruct, but judge by their eyes and experience. What they obstruct is only your mind that is carried away by the so-called love for a while, and it is all kinds of misfortunes that you can't expect in the future. It is that they see that the person you identify is disgusting, and you are selectively blind in love at this time. But after all, your parents are not the people who know your partner best. You are the one who knows your partner best. In the future, you will live with your partner, not your parents and TA. In fact, it doesn't matter whether you get your parents' blessing or not; It is important to have the ability to think independently. A person without independent thinking ability will not be happy even if he is blessed by his parents, while a person with independent thinking ability will be happy for a long time even if he is not blessed by his parents. My friend Xiao C talked about a baby boy before, and when they quarreled, the boy would tell her mother, so the man's mother labeled Xiao C as "not sensible" and "bad-tempered", and the final outcome was conceivable. Later, Xiao C's boyfriend praised Xiao C in front of his parents every chance, boasting how sensible she was and how good she was to herself, so in fact, most of his parents' views on his other half came from his description of the other half. As a parent, Xiao Bian thinks that smart parents will only give their own suggestions and never impose them on their children. Otherwise, once parents play, they will promote the alliance between children and lovers, making the contradiction between parents and children rise to the main contradiction, but making children unable to see clearly the problem of their love. Poor inherit the wind, they have never been stingy with their own blessings for their children. They don't care who their children are with, they just want their children to be happy forever.

Finally, I wish everyone's family can live in harmony, and all shall be well, jack shall have Jill ~