The weakness of human nature from 65438 to 0937 became popular all over the world as soon as it was listed. Carnegie, the author of this book, is a very famous psychologist and interpersonal relationship scientist in the 20th century.

Carnegie wrote a passage for the birth of this book:

The rules we set here are not just a theory and speculation. They are quite magical and sound incredible, but I have personally heard or seen that these principles have changed many people's lives and careers. The sole purpose of this book is to help you discover, develop and use your potential talents.

Carnegie's famous words are no strangers to us, so this book is also a household name. Although there are different opinions, if we can make some changes in life choice, life attitude and money according to the guidance of this book, we will find that life and thought will be improved by several dimensions.

This book gives people an unorthodox guide to life from a practical point of view, and analyzes the ideal demands that need to be solved in human nature from many aspects, such as interpersonal communication, ideological promotion, treating marriage and creating happiness. Today, I will do some analysis according to the content in "The Weakness of Human Nature", hoping that we can meet a better life.

First, grasp the needs of interpersonal relationships, attract and certainly convey their own ideas.

There is only one way to influence others, and that is to point out their western medicine and let them know how to get it.

Carnegie

Simple stories foreshadow profound truth, and it is softer to solve problems in the way that the other party needs.

In his book, Carnegie introduced that he goes fishing in Main every summer. During fishing, he will bring his favorite food. Later, he used his favorite food and fish's favorite "water bugs" as bait, as if he were asking the fish for advice.

This way of affirming each other's needs and understanding is Carnegie's Ken way. When Emerson and his son tried to drag a calf to the cowshed, an Irish woman who was familiar with the feelings and habits of cows, horses and livestock put her thumb in the calf's mouth, let it suck it and gently introduced it into the cowshed. The same applies.

Whether human or everything, from the first day we came to this world, the starting point of all our actions is to do it for our own needs, so Professor Harry Overto said in one of his books:

Action is produced by the basic human desires ... For those who want to convince others, the best advice is to be bored and arouse some urgent needs in the minds of businesses, families, schools and others. If we can do this successfully, then the whole world belongs to him, and we will never encounter difficulties again.

In this book, Carnegie used many stories to combine his own views, and also found human needs in the same incident feedback, and told people that only by mutual attraction and affirmation can they feel that their needs have been solved and understood, so they are willing to convince your views and ideas. We are often curious about how people who encounter difficulties in life can resolve their embarrassment and gain recognition from each other through simple communication. This shows that they must have used this method.

The story scenes in this book are familiar and true. When educating children or taming pets, we often only consider our own feelings and ignore each other's feelings, so each other will have strong resistance. Therefore, in the book "The Weakness of Human Nature", we can easily avoid conflicts and resolve bad feelings in our hearts through these simple stories.

② Practice fluent language charm and create dramatic effects to impress each other.

Communicating with people who are unprepared is bound to be frustrated. No one wants to talk about irrelevant things with people who are at a loss, so before contacting, first determine your state and thinking, and express your thoughts accurately, so that it is easier to get approval.

No matter how busy the government affairs are, Charles Louis Napolé on Bonaparte always tries to remember the names of people he meets. When he didn't catch other people's names clearly, he would say, "I'm sorry, please say it again." And constantly use the other person's name in the conversation, and keep it in mind with the other person's appearance, expression and posture. In this way, the next time we meet, we can quickly draw closer to each other in a familiar way.

As Emerson said:

Good habits require some sacrifices.

Starting from the needs of the other party, take some time to practice the speed and intonation of the dialogue and discuss the way to spread ideas, and remember the name and image of the other party. This way is really flying, but it can make the other person feel recognized and needed the fastest, willing to have a deep dialogue with you, and easier to be persuaded.

It can be seen that if you exercise your language charm in conversation and make the other person feel intimate through dramatic and attractive ways, you can quickly enter the other person's heart, narrow the distance between them, express your views logically and clearly, and turn a nervous and worried communication into a relaxed and sincere conversation.

Second, do a good job in life planning, balance savings and thrift, and light up the passion of life.

Carnegie's golden advice

With a goal in mind, you won't care too much about irrelevant troubles, and you will be open-minded and cheerful if you care about ordinary irrelevant little troubles.

The book "The Weakness of Human Nature" not only has vivid stories and philosophies, but also contains Carnegie's classic golden sentences. Coupled with a long discussion, it is sobering and makes people feel that life is like a torch, clear and bright.

(1) Arrange your life in a planned way so that you can constantly revise your struggle in the progress bar.

Goals are as important to life as air and sunshine, and life is inseparable from the guidance of goals for a moment. Only by knowing the direction of your struggle can you go forward bravely, not afraid of confusion and setbacks.

Draw a blueprint of life, refine it constantly, and make steady progress in daily arrangements. The two biggest directions about life goals are:

How will you make a living: when a person reaches the age of 18, should he consider the direction he should work hard for survival, whether he is a chemist, a stenographer, a university professor or a street vendor?

What kind of life partner would you choose? Partner is the closest partner of each of us in this life. Many celebrities and scholars have created many admirable works in their lives, but they have suffered all their lives because their partners have chosen the wrong ones.

Carnegie once heard Charlie Schweber say:

Everyone who is engaged in the work he loves infinitely can succeed.

And those who have a lot of high education, because they don't know clearly what their hobbies are and have no other ideas to earn wages, most of them are still in their 40 s and have nothing to do and are unhappy.

So after making a life picture, we need to make it detailed, from 20 years to 10, 5 years, 3 years, 1 year, how to do things every day. When everything goes according to our own plan, we can clearly find the direction in our minds, make a comeback every once in a while, find problems, correct them and get ready to go.

(2) Choose a good attitude towards money, and don't be a hard-working passerby.

For a long time, we have been trapped in a swamp dominated and manipulated by matter. People are constantly looking for getting rich quickly and accumulating wealth, and great wealth is the source of happiness. In the event of an economic crisis, the whole person will collapse.

Especially in recent years, various kinds of loans, credit cards and campus loans have made many people's lives look glamorous and really frustrating. When the debt pressure is increasing, some people even take extreme measures. This kind of life manipulated by money and material will only show that people seem to have had a short period of satisfaction, but it is not conducive to long-term development and social stability.

There are still some people who try their best to accumulate wealth and even get some money by illegal means. Finally, because of the dissatisfaction or disputes caused by money, I encountered a life of emotional deviation, from enjoyment to self-abandonment.

People's life is inseparable from money, and the real guarantee should come from internal savings, such as creativity, talent and health. Just like this epidemic, we have witnessed one medical miracle after another under the power of science. After the epidemic subsided, we discovered that a healthy body is so precious. At that time, even Jinshan Yinshan, if it was not transformed into a useful driving force to help others promote society, no amount of financial resources would be empty.

Don't be a spendthrift or a stingy person. If you are rich and helpful, you can get the care and love of others. Some useful methods are listed in the book. We can also make some plans for consumption, don't over-consume, and don't care too much about maintaining emotions. We can know how to control money, stay away from insatiable people and control our own lives while being frugal.

Third, run a happy family, stop criticizing and lowering expectations, and enjoy a relaxed and happy life journey.

Sweet words are not afraid of much, and criticism and nagging are fatal.

In the book, a couple's husband, Mr. Theodore Parker, gave ten days' advice when they were newly married. Just like the Ten Commandments of Judaism, this gentleman said that all his 10 advice revolved around one word-love.

Because I know that my wife and I have the same interests, I try my best to meet her needs, and her return is the same happiness, so their marriage is full of sweetness.

In a survey, I learned that 80% of marriages are going downhill, not because there are extramarital people, but because both husband and wife are bad reviewers of each other. The husband is grumpy and rude, and the wife is full of complaints. It is hateful to mention the family that lives together. Everyone thinks that the other person can be such a bad person.

Charles Louis Napolé on Bonaparte of France (Napoleon's nephew) was once happy that he fell in love with the most beautiful woman in the world, especially the Countess Euqin. They were unhappy for a few days after their marriage. His wife's mania, paranoia and nagging forced the man to become a man who was very afraid of his wife. On any occasion, he will suddenly cut in and ask questions. After Charles Louis Napolé on Bonaparte fell, he often slipped out of a small side door at night, accompanied by a close friend.

You Qin has changed from a thoroughly spoiled person to an abandoned wife, and even the whole world blames her for being nagging and aggressive.

As the book says:

In hell, among the successful and vicious methods invented by the devil to destroy love, nagging is the most powerful.

In those happily married families, the relationship between husband and wife is harmonious. With mutual love and encouragement, two hearts are getting closer and closer and working for the same goal. However, those fragmented marriages are often filled with women's complaints and nagging, and men's impatience and alienation. So stay away from the blame and curse that destroys a beautiful marriage, overcome inner selfishness, and affirm each other in order to get the recognition of each other.

Let go of the inner baggage, go into battle lightly, and be relaxed and happy.

Carnegie's golden advice:

Many of us are not only eager to find out who makes us feel stressed and miserable, but also store and classify this information for future use.

Carnegie regards this behavior as "baggage handling", so the accumulated baggage has accumulated a lot of pain, and even needs to be sealed in the suitcase, which affects others' handling.

For example, the bad feelings in the company should not be brought into the family, the disputes between parents should not affect the children, and even the contradictions between grandparents should not affect the relationship between the younger generation, but many people spend their energy on hating and maintaining these bad things, making themselves constantly miserable.

Just like punishing yourself with other people's mistakes, an untimely remark from the other party makes you uncomfortable. In fact, this is just a "bad idea" in everyone's mind. Just let nature take its course and lift it happily.

Mastering some Ah Q spirit and making fun of yourself can not only make you open-minded, but also turn embarrassment and discomfort into a gust of wind. It can also make others look at you with new eyes. You don't have to work hard to get ahead, sometimes you will find everything is so beautiful if you take a step back.

Conclusion:

After reading the book "The Weakness of Human Nature", in fact, many stories in the book have happened around us many times, but they have never been noticed, and just like negative examples, it is not only difficult to win the recognition of the other side, but also difficult to be understood, resulting in various contradictions.

Problems in life abound, and everyone has a self-centered mentality. Therefore, we only need to consider each other's needs, and then communicate, exchange and care, so that we can make progress. If we do a good job in the goals of each period in our life planning and refine them, we can find our own direction when choosing a spouse and making a living, take fewer detours, set up control over money in our planning, and avoid material manipulation.