The common manifestations of inferiority are: anger, jealousy, tears, nervousness, constant apology and so on.

People with low self-esteem often miss opportunities because of timidity, which is not conducive to personal development and growth.

When I finished reading "Inferiority and Transcendence" by Adler, the founder of individual psychology, and combined with my own experience, I realized that people feel "inferiority" for the following three reasons.

1, frustrated by comparison;

As the saying goes, "There is no harm without comparison", and most people's sense of inferiority is generated by comparison.

For example, if your deskmate scored 100, and you only scored 60, you will feel inferior.

When you drive home in a Mercedes, you will feel inferior when you see that you are still riding an electric car.

A girl looks very ordinary and has a bad figure, and she will feel inferior in front of beautiful and sexy women.

Entrepreneur Yu Min felt inferior in his early years. Why does he feel inferior? On the one hand, my looks are not outstanding, on the other hand, my family conditions are not good.

When he reported to Peking University on the first day, he wore cloth shoes, carried a pole, carried a washbasin and a quilt, and all his classmates cast strange eyes on him. At that time, he felt extremely inferior. Because of his inferiority complex, he didn't dare to chase the girl he liked during the whole university period.

Entrepreneur Liu also had the experience of inferiority in his early years. He said that he went to high school by train, sitting opposite girls of the same age and their families. They are all from Lianyungang, and they are all dressed with great temperament.

On the other hand, he came from the countryside, wearing sandals and slippers, big shorts and two reinforced T-shirts. He said: "As soon as I compared with them, I immediately felt different from others. At that moment, I really had a sense of inferiority. "

Adler also said in the book Inferiority and Transcendence that "children will feel pressure and inferiority because of physical defects such as organ defects". This inferiority complex is also caused by contrast, which is difficult to cure.

In fact, Adler suffered from hunchback when he was young, which made him feel small and ugly, so he often felt inferior. But he later decided to become a doctor, and paid special attention to the inferiority of body organs, and finally surpassed inferiority and achieved extraordinary achievements.

2. Being unable to solve the problem leads to inferiority.

Writer Wang Xiaobo has a classic saying: Anger is a catharsis of one's incompetence.

Indeed, when people face an unsolvable problem, they will not only generate anger, but also breed a strong sense of inferiority.

Middle-aged men, old and young, will feel weak and tired when their meager work cannot solve practical problems such as housing, education, medical care, old-age care and consumption.

Over time, they will feel inferior in their hearts and feel incompetent and failed.

Adler said: People have to be attached to their parents and the world around them because of incompetence, incompetence and ignorance, which will produce a certain sense of inferiority.

It can be seen that children often feel inferior because of their weak ability in front of tall and strong parents.

So we will find a phenomenon: the stronger the parents are, the easier it is to have inferiority and cowardice like giant babies.

People are more confident because of self-reliance, and they will also escape and feel inferior because they can't solve practical problems.

Therefore, the best way to overcome inferiority is to be more frustrated and brave and make yourself stronger.

If parents don't want to cultivate a weak and inferior child, they should also cultivate the child's personal ability, so that the child can stand on his own feet and become excellent, and finally have the ability to solve your problems.

3. Being suppressed or neglected at home or school.

There is no doubt that the memory of family background and early childhood has a deep influence on a person's character.

So Adler devoted three chapters (the influence of family, the influence of school, childhood and early memory) to discuss how inferiority complex came into being.

First of all, if parents are not good at socializing, they will always be weak in front of others, which will make children feel insecure and insecure.

Secondly, if there are many children at home, parents can't be impartial. They always prefer boys to girls, love the children they like, ignore and attack the children they don't like, and also make the children who have no love feel inferior.

I know a boy of 12 years old who nods everything.

Once he made a small mistake, he immediately appeared very humble and kept apologizing, saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry".

I find it strange that the child has such a deep sense of inferiority.

Later, I heard people say that his mother especially likes to be partial to his younger brother. Besides beating and cursing, it is humiliation and lesson.

No wonder this child is like this!

Children who lack love and are neglected from childhood are more likely to feel inferior, are not good at communicating with others, and often ignore the existence of cooperation. So they like to be alone, have no popularity, and it is difficult to achieve anything in the end.

So parents should care about their children as much as possible.

The school is an extension of the family, and the teacher's influence on children is second only to that of parents, and it will also leave beautiful memories or unhealed scars on children's young minds.

If teachers always favor students with good academic performance and suppress or ignore students with average academic performance, some students will feel inferior and lead to failure in life.

Therefore, teachers should not only teach, but also educate people.

Conclusion:

It is worth noting that inferiority itself is not completely a pathological state, but it is also the driving force and reason for the improvement of human status.

As the saying goes, frustration is the stepping stone of genius, the wealth of capable people and the abyss of the weak.

Writer Zhou even said: Pain is the catalyst of character, which makes the strong stronger, the weak weaker, the violent more violent, the soft more gentle, the wise more wise and the fool more stupid.

Therefore, if our hearts are strong enough to correctly understand inferiority, we can truly transcend inferiority, become better people and gain a better life.

As Adler, the founder of individual psychology, said in the book Inferiority and Transcendence, the existence of inferiority is not a bad thing, because it inspires people to pursue Excellence constantly, overcome their own obstacles and exert their greatest value in the limited life space.

I hope all friends with low self-esteem can overcome their low self-esteem as soon as possible and live a good life. Come on!

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