Having both ability and political integrity is the most important criterion for us to measure talents, and morality comes first. Therefore, we say that virtue without talent is defective, talent without virtue is waste, and talent without virtue is dangerous goods. "Born in, things in Yuzhou, Xuzhou, Jingzhou, and Yonghua Youhe; Brother Xuande, Brother Yide, Shi Mengde and Bao Pound are couplets describing Guan Yu's experience and character. In people's belief, General Guan Congwu stepped into the position of Guan Sheng, Vu Thang and Guandi, not only because of his superb martial arts, but also because he took the overall situation into account, put righteousness above family loyalty, and even sacrificed his life to strike while the iron was hot. Among the figures in the Three Kingdoms, the author often likes to compare Liu Bei and Guan Yu: In terms of talent, "One Lu, Two Zhao and Three Dian Wei" is the ranking of martial arts among the figures in the Three Kingdoms, and Liu Bei's martial arts is not as good as that of Lu Bu and Cao Cao. But why can Bei achieve hegemony and "three points of the world" in West Shu? Liu Bei, a good corporal, is eager for talents and thinks that Zhuge Liang is like a duck to water. His noble personality makes the "five tigers and generals" closely unite around him. However, Lu Bu, who owns the red hare and the weapon of painting halberds, was hanged by Cao Cao in the White Gate Tower and withdrew from the historical stage early. Because he was conceited, selfish and forgetful, he attached importance to his friends (the story of Diusim) and killed his adoptive father (Ding Yuan), which shows that he was "virtuous".
The original meaning of "virtue" is "the value of heart and action", which means to develop one's own career without violating the natural development and social development. "Tao" in "virtue" shows everything, while "virtue" carries everything of Tao. Avenue is invisible, invisible, inaudible and intangible, and can only be understood and perceived through our thinking consciousness, while "virtue" is the carrier and embodiment of Tao, the mind we can see and the behavior we conduct after perception. Belonging to inner feelings or beliefs, used in interpersonal relationships, refers to people. From the comparison of Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Lu Bu, we can know that "virtue" includes loyalty, filial piety, benevolence, righteousness, softness, respect, modesty and so on, and can also be extended to "goodness". The Book of Changes says, "Heaven is healthy, and gentlemen are constantly striving for self-improvement; The terrain is Kun, and the gentleman carries things with morality. " The so-called virtue is tolerance and understanding. I like a famous saying very much: I don't like others, but I don't have enough cultivation. Famous sayings inspire us that when we meet people we don't like, we should be strict with ourselves and be lenient with others; Being ready to help others is an important aspect of virtue and an important yardstick to measure a person's moral character. In a highly competitive society, helping others is not necessarily material or even economic. Sometimes we just need to be a good listener, that is, we can listen to our friends patiently and keep secrets for them. In fact, being trusted by others is not only a kind of fate, but also a kind of happiness, especially when others are in desperate situations.
What is virtuous? Xunzi's "Two sons of Fei" said: "If you don't know, ask; If not, then study; If you can, give in and be virtuous. " In other words, a person must be "questioning", "learning" and "letting" in order to be considered "moral". A popular person should not only have a mighty appearance, but also have a caring heart, and a smile is a reflection of a person's beautiful heart. We can not only see it through vision, but also feel it through sound, which is permeated with the sound of smile and conveys friendliness and goodwill. Therefore, people say that a smile is the sunshine of the soul and makes people feel warm. Therefore, if you get along with people and have a heart, you can be heart-to-heart.
On the surface, it is not difficult to talk about. Most people can talk as long as they have mouths and vocal cords. In fact, in interpersonal communication, there is a difference between physical speaking ability and being able to speak.
The reason why I thought of this topic came from a gathering of several friends, one of whom was a leader. All the subordinates thought that the leader's speech at a meeting was very good, and the leader said it was nonsense. Everyone knows that leaders are polite and modest, which belongs to the traditional virtues of orientals. Another friend immediately joked: You can talk nonsense so well, but I don't know how good it will be if you talk seriously. In the laughter of everyone, my friend told a story: Almost twenty years ago, under the influence of famous calligraphers, my friend was obsessed with calligraphy and "approached Zhu Zhechi". He learned a lot of techniques including architecture from famous calligraphers, and their calligraphy is somewhat similar. In the eyes of people with low appreciation of calligraphy, my friend's handwriting can be confused with the original. One day, a calligraphy celebrity saw one of his words and said with certainty: This word is good and desirable. My friend is flattered and thinks that he is just a pupil who needs to keep learning in front of calligraphy celebrities. How dare he say it's good? So, just like "leaders", calligraphy celebrities immediately said: It's so good to write blindly, isn't it better to write carefully? In fact, that word is already the highest level of my friend's calligraphy. The friend had to smile awkwardly. From this incident, friends summed up a rule. When praised or flattered, they might as well say thank you. Because according to my friend's understanding, "thank you" has rich connotations and can represent: thank you for your support, recognition or affirmation. At the same time, I'm not as good as you said, and I don't have so many compliments. Don't say any more, I will continue to work hard to achieve the good evaluation you gave me, and so on. Otherwise, when a man praises a woman for her beauty and a woman modestly says "blind", it can only be regarded as humor. If the woman modestly answers with "where is it", the man can understand it as asking which part is beautiful, and may even answer "where is it beautiful", so it is easy to fall into an endless quagmire. Therefore, scholars say: Thank you is a blooming flower-it can make interpersonal relationships more sincere and rational. Some friends say "where, where, (talk) nonsense, (new clothes) buy blindly" to show modesty. This is the habit of orientals, and westerners like to say thank you. The author's point of view is that whoever is more practical and less embarrassed, whether in the East or the West, is the last word.
Speak correctly or reasonably in some special situations in daily life. The common problem is eating. We orientals often use "Have you eaten?" When asked in time, we can simply say "I've eaten" or "I'm busy. If I haven't eaten yet, I'll eat at once". Frank westerners don't think so, and often understand that we want to invite them to dinner. With the increasing popularity of Chinese, it is estimated that West Renye Fang can do as the Romans do and gradually accept it. Another occasion is to go to the toilet. Of course, according to physiological laws, it is normal to go to the toilet. There is a joke. One friend greets another friend and asks: Do you go to the toilet? A serious friend immediately asked: What am I doing in the men's (women's) toilet without going to the toilet? In fact, we all know this situation, that is, we have nothing to talk about, and the other party can just answer "hmm" or smile. Smiling is an affirmation of his question and can avoid some embarrassment. It can be seen that smile is also a language, even a very special language. For example, when you disagree or are unhappy with the other person's words, smiling can show generosity and don't care about the other person; Strangers smile when they meet. They can say: Nice to meet you. I hope to meet you again next time. When acquaintances, especially friends, meet, they can say: Nice to meet you. You gave me a good impression in the past.
In many cases, the most important thing to say is to read more, say less or even say nothing, and encourage and affirm young people and even friends and colleagues. I usually like to play ball, and my skills are very general. I think the purpose of playing ball is to exercise. Therefore, in addition to making some jokes in good faith, most of the time I will sincerely praise my golfers for playing well, and individual golfers will love to comment. This habit doesn't look good to me. If my observation is not strong, I will often speak insincerely, at least it is unlikely to hit the nail on the head, even if the other party makes little progress. Everyone should praise, encourage and affirm more, not to mention that people are not born, and practice makes perfect. Therefore, apart from proper guidance, there is no need to point fingers by seniority. You know, words of encouragement don't cost money, and the other person can feel happy and do (work) or play (ball) better, because "people are most afraid of encouragement, and once encouraged, they will be more motivated." If the other party doesn't pick up our topic or even change the topic, it means that the other party is not interested in our topic or we don't speak well, at least the other party is not interested; When we don't agree with each other's insistence, we might as well laugh it off. There is no need to deliberately guide or change. Adults have their own thinking, and the effect will be counterproductive. At the same time, when others feel good about themselves and show themselves incisively and vividly, and don't want to appreciate them, we will look to other scenery and try not to talk, so that everyone can have his place. This is also an important art of speaking.
Classical philosophical prose: to be a man, you should learn to laugh it off. To be a man, you should learn to laugh at failures and setbacks. It is optimism and confidence to laugh it off, and then get back on your feet. This is a kind of courage.
In the face of misunderstanding and hatred, it is calm and tolerant to laugh it off and then remain true. This is a philosophy.
In the face of praise and encouragement, it is modest and sober to laugh it off and keep making progress. This is a kind of strength.
In the face of troubles and worries, it is a kind of peace and relief to laugh it off and then try to resolve it. This is a realm.
Failure and frustration are temporary, as long as you have the courage to smile; Misunderstanding and hatred are temporary, as long as you have philosophy; Praise and encouragement are temporary, as long as you don't indulge in dreams; Worry and sadness are only temporary, as long as you are not affected by them. The vast sea, who can compete for the flow, does not exclude people from becoming the sea. All one's life, life is impermanent, and you can become a hero only if you are not intimidated by difficulties and hardships. Rain is coming, spring flowers fall, and there is always sunshine behind the rain. The tide rises and falls, the clouds roll and the clouds are comfortable, walking leisurely, the sails are high, hitting the water in the rising water, and the waves are stopping the spacecraft. The other side of success lies ahead.
Don't cling to broken old dreams, don't dwell on the happy aura of the past, don't care about the gains and losses of life, and don't worry about the weather tomorrow.
Since you have chosen the front, you are in the same boat through thick and thin. Smile and send away the unpleasant clouds. Don't let them cover your eyes.
Don't deny tomorrow's happiness because of today's pain, don't lose your way because of small success, and don't deny tomorrow's sunshine because of the storm in front of you. Don't cry because you missed the stars, because we saw the moon.
Since all this is temporary, why don't we just laugh it off and start over?
The aura and unpleasant things hanging over our heads in life are like bubbles of different colors, no matter how beautiful or ugly, they will burst one day.
Instead of staring at unhappy things, it is better to move your hands, stretch your smiling face and really pursue your ideals.
At this time, the aura will become empty, but our hearts will be gradually enriched by unremitting pursuit and smile.
Life will be like a slowly flowing river, full and confident; Smiling will be like rolling waves, bringing us enterprising happiness.
We can't deny that flowers are accompanied by thorns, nor can we deny that sunshine is accompanied by wind and rain, nor can we deny that success and failure coexist!
There are often one or two unpleasant things in life, and eight or nine beautiful things in daily life. Just laugh it off and get on the road easily!
Being able to make yourself sad and happy is the power to laugh it off.