Feng Wan's Classic Quotations
1. One day in a program, a listener called the hotline to ask about crabs. The following is a transcript of the conversation ("Wan" refers to the audience): Wan & hellip& amphellip Miss Feng Wan, I have a question to ask. Wan: (impatiently) Go ahead. Listen: I have crabs. What should I do? Wan: What should I do? How dare you ask me? Have you ever had unclean sex? Listen: No&; Hellip& amphellip has no ten thousand: no (sharp tone)! Your lover, your wife? Listen: No. Wan: No? That's bullshit！ Your wife didn't fuck around, and neither did you. Is that dishonest? Where did you say your crab came from? Airborne troops!
2. On another occasion, the audience asked Feng Wan, (I study medicine, but I don't want to study medicine. I know that no matter whether it's a man or a woman, it seems that they don't come out together. Of course, individuals with physical or pathological deformities are not included. )
3. I haven't heard it several times, but one sentence impressed me deeply: Audience: Mr. Feng Wan, I am unable to ejaculate! Wan: ejaculation weakness? ! How far do you want to shoot? There is a fish in Africa that can shoot down bugs in trees. Hellip& amphellip Later, I made a derivative: Audience: Mr. Feng Wan, I have very little pubic hair! Wan: Less pubic hair? How many gorillas do you think there are in Africa? hellip& amphellip
In fact, many times, this person is really annoying, because he is too feudal and feels that he should blush at the mention of sex. Anyone with related problems is either messing around or trying to mess around. But he left a happy note in my college days. At that time, Feng Wan came to the Medical University to give a lecture. This is really a crowded street. Everyone wants to see what this ignorant sexologist looks like. He said: "In Xinjiang, I stayed in an empty house with a 20-year-old girl for three days and three nights, and nothing happened. Students, someone wants to ask, can you stand it? I said that young people nowadays are so bad. I was so strong-willed that I could hold back everything. ..... What can't help it, I feel strange ... "
Listen: My girlfriend is pregnant &; Hellip& amphellip Wan: Another girlfriend is pregnant. Young people nowadays are so irresponsible! Don't you take precautions? Listen: I was in a hurry and forgot. Wan: What's the hurry? There is always time. Listen: First time, no experience. Wan: First time? It is not the first time in my heart. You must have been preparing for a long time, thinking about what to do with your girlfriend, haven't you? Listen:&; Hellip& amphellip Wan: What if something goes wrong now? Huh? It's really that puppies can't change their minds and always think about these things &; Hellip& amphellip Listen: You son of a bitch &; Hellip& amphellip (cut off) Wan: This listener &; Hellip& amphellip (swearing)
Listen: Miss Feng Wan, I'm getting married tomorrow! Wan (excitedly): This young man, why did you call when you got married? Listen: my girlfriend and I haven't done that yet. Miss Feng Wan, I want to ask you, what should I do for the first time? I'm very nervous now. Wan: Really! This young man should be praised! There are not many young people like you now! Perseverance! I want to praise you! Listen: Thank you! What do you suggest I do? I'm nervous, so is my girlfriend. Wan: Hum, don't you understand at all? You can go to the bookstore to look through books, or you can buy CDs to study? Relax. It seems inappropriate to talk about this here. There are many people listening. Let's not talk about this today, shall we? Listen: Where am I&; Hellip& amphellip Wan: Actually, you just have to wait for an erection &; Hellip& amphellip Then he told the whole story on the radio without stopping. Oral sex hellip& amphellip
7. Classic old joke: Audience: Mr. Wan, it's really a long experience to listen to your program all the time. Listen to your program and always listen to your little brother &; The call of hellip& amphellip penis feels awkward, can you&; Hellip& amphellip Wan: What's your name if you don't call your penis? Do you want me to call Badiao and Ma Er Qiao &; hellip& amphellip
8. Once, a woman called in and asked, "Mr. Feng Wan, I saw a suspicious girl. I was so scared. What should I do? " A: "Afraid, what are you afraid of? All you have to do is shout-rogue (Feng Wan treble)! "
I just heard about it the other day. W: I broke up with my boyfriend, but I still love him very much. What should I do? Wan: Break up and break up. W: But I still love him very much. Wan: Now you are a frog in the well. You only see this toad by your side. One day when you climb up and see a better toad, you won't think about it. There are many toads outside. Why do you always haunt a toad? Everyone in our dormitory fainted from laughter. How to compare a toad with a MM? At least it is a frog.
10, what he said inside contradicts what he said outside. Wan: Welcome to Eden. I'm Feng Wan. We are in Hangzhou XXXXX &；; Hellip& amphellip welcomes listeners to call the hotline. Discuss things about sex, health and emotion. Man: Teacher Wan. I found myself uncomfortable below &; Hellip& amphellip Wan: What? Under what? Make it clear &; Hellip& amphellip, your legs and feet are all below &; hellip& amphellipm:&； hellip& amphellipjust & hellip； & amphellipjust & hellip； & hellip reproductive organs and hellip& amphellip Wan:&; Hellip& amphellip, have you ever had unclean sex? Did you fuck around? For example &; Hellip& amphellip (omitted here) M: Then you say&; Hellip& amphellip Wan: Go to the hospital! & amphellip& amphellip You can't stay in a good hospital ...&; Hellip& amphellip I have a hospital here, I'm not a doctor &; hellip& amphellip
1 1, female: teacher Feng Wan&; Hellip& amphellip Wan: Ah&; Hello, hellip& amphellip. Don't call me teacher. Woman: Me and my boyfriend &; Hellip& amphellip (not finished) Wan: Oh dear &; Hellip& amphellip, for example &; Hellip& amphellip, you can't learn well at an early age&; Hellip& amphellip what's the hurry &; Hellip& amphellip Female: No, no&; Hellip& amphellip We don't have &; Hellip& amphellip We have some emotional problems &; Hellip& amphellip But I still love him&; Hellip& amphellip, what did you say? Wan: Huh? & amphellip& amphellip, why don't you solve it yourselves? The key is you. What's the use of asking me It seems that our time is running out&; Hellip& amphellip Welcome to Eden mailbox &; hellip& amphellip
12, listen: "Mr. Feng Wan, I don't know what happened. What should I do if I see my girlfriend's penis erect? " Wan: "Do what! Why are you such a complicated young man? Why always erect like holding a pistol? Catch a spy? "
13, anonymous: "hee hee & hellip& amphellip" Wan: "What are you happy about? What's there to be happy about? "Anonymous:" Is that Mr. Feng Wan? " Wan: "I am!" Anonymous: "Well &; Hellip& amphellip My husband didn't get an erection when he woke up this morning. Hellip& amphellip "Wan:" Why do you want an erection? Why is it always hard? Jane Doe: They said they would &; Hellip& amphellip "Wan:" Who told you that you would be stiff if you got an erection? That's a disease! ! It takes 10 minutes, no problem. Check it quickly and cut it off&; Hellip& amphellip "Anonymous:" Ah&; Hellip& amphellip, they said it was good. Hellip& amphellip "Wan:" Don't let them talk, they talk! ! Chen Bo does, but not everyone is the same. You can hold your urine in the morning, whether you want to be hard or not! ! Hey! OK or not? & amphellip& amphellip we say&; hellip& amphellip”
14, once a phone call came in and said: Is this Mr. Feng Wan? Then he said: Yes! ! One said, oh, you are! Feng Wan, this is Big B Wan (plugging in the phone): What! What! ! If I'm not mistaken. Ah! ! Then play the recording: Mom, where am I from? ! Experts call for sex education from the age of zero! !
Once, a man called in and asked, Is this Mr. Feng Wan? A: Yes! ! Q: I had sex with my girlfriend. As a result, she hasn't menstruated yet, and we are very worried now! ! ! A: There are two possibilities in this situation. One is that you are really pregnant, and the other is that you are scared by yourself when you come to menstruation, so scared! ! Ask & hellip& amphellip can scare people into it.
16, boy: "Oh, my girlfriend and I are getting married tomorrow. I don't know how to spend our wedding night. Excuse me&; hellip& amphellip? "Madman:" Oh, you ask me such a thing? Ask your parents &; Hellip& amphellip, aren't they very experienced, huh? "
17,000: This listener &; Hellip& amphellip Listen: Miss Wan, my penis is not straight. Is there a problem? Hellip& amphellip Wan: Why are you so straight? It's not like being a ruler!
18, this fellow doesn't know how to get into the radio station, dizzy. Remember a joke in junior high school: listen: crazy old lice? Wan: Really? Listen: I think my penis is very short &; Hellip& amphellip Wan: Short. How do you know about Short? Listen: I don't have an erection, just &; Hellip & Amphellipcm & Hellip & Hellip Wan: Then how do you know that yours is shorter than others? Listen:&; Hellip& amphellip Wan: Ah! How many times have I said, don't always say that your penis is short. Only those who are diagnosed by doctors are sick and can learn to operate. Ah, I once read a report that a scientist discovered a primitive tribe in Africa. The male penis is 30-40 cm without erection, and the waist is always tied with a rope at work. Hellip& amphellip, you said you brought such a big guy in the way. Where did hellip& amphellip come from? It is estimated that this fellow is the only one!
19, Audience: Mr. Feng Wan, I went to a guest house on 10 at night and was locked up by the security guard for questioning. I was beaten by them. Wan: Oh, it happens every day. It's nothing. Audience: But they are unreasonable, which is illegal. Wan: Don't mention such things to me. If you really want to talk, go to the public security bureau. We can't control it here Audience: But I feel very wronged. Wan: OK, OK, then what are you doing out so late? Can't you stay at home at night?
20. One night, I took a taxi and a guy's program was playing on the radio &; Hellip& amphellip Audience:&; hellip； & amphellipI & hellip& amphellip Several of my girlfriends said that I&; The one under hellip& amphellip &; Hellip& amphellip is a little loud (voice interrupted)&; Hellip& amphellip Wan: Big? Do you think you are great when you are old? Is it as big as a donkey or a horse? & amphellip& amphellip audience: & hellip； & hellip (speechless) hellip& amphellip (hang up)
Next, I will share with you some jokes created by talented people, friendly tips, and many jokes behind.
Unused part:
Me: Hello, Mr. Feng Wan!
Feng Wan: Yes, please. What is it? I wonder why you didn't ask me your name.
Me: Hello, Mr. Feng Wan. I like listening to your program very much. My last name is Ben.
Feng Wan: Well, hello. (doesn't seem to pay much attention to me)
Me: My name is bin Laden!
Feng Wan: You bastard! ! ! (I'll hang up soon, so I won't say much about swearing later.)
The second part:
Panda: Hello, Miss Wan?
Feng Wan: Well, hello, what's the matter?
Panda: Oh, hello, Miss Wan, I've come to thank you!
Feng Wan: Oh? (Excited) Why are you thanking me?
Panda: I used to be a gangster in society, but after listening to your program, I read books and newspapers. Now I have changed and achieved something!
Feng Wan: Oh? So what have you achieved now? (I guess I want to show my strength. )
Panda: I won the Nobel Prize in Physics!
Feng Wan: Guide! Tell me this man's number! (So I published my phone number for the first time. I remember that I stayed up all night that night. Telephone messages keep coming in. There are appreciation, admiration and abuse. Alas, we can only treat it as a novel. )
The third part:
Hello, Mr. Feng Wan!
Feng Wan: Please feel free to say!
L: I'm a high school student. My parents are both ethnic minorities. So am I.
Feng Wan: Oh, isn't that great?
L: But my classmates discriminate against me?
Feng Wan: Why! Where are you from?
L: I'm a super Saiyan! (Then he burst out laughing and hung up before Feng Wan could react. )
Feng Wan: What's this? What are you talking about? Looks like another &; hellip& amphellip
Paragraph 4:
Director: Hello.
Me: Hello, I'm a student. I have something to ask Mr Feng Wan about my study.
Guide: Are you from Xiaoshan? Recently, many boats from Xiaoshan have come in to make trouble. I hope you're not looking for trouble.
Me: Yes, I know. I'm here to ask questions.
Guide: OK. Then don't talk. I'll put you through.
Feng Wan: Hello!
Me: Hello, Mr. Feng Wan.
Feng Wan: Hello, go ahead.
Me: Miss Feng Wan, I am a high school student. I'm very busy with my studies, and I'm under great pressure to take exams every month.
Feng Wan: Why do you have exams every month?
Me: It's a monthly exam. I am a senior three student.
Feng Wan: Oh, and this, what's wrong with you?
Me: I just failed the exam recently. My parents scolded me, and now they quarrel with me and run out!
Feng Wan: How can you quarrel? Speak louder.
Me: They just scolded me for not doing well in the exam. I have run away from home now.
Feng Wan: Why did you run away from home? Come back quickly! ! !
Me: The problem is that I can't go back now!
Feng Wan: Why can't you go back? Where are you?
Me: I'm on Mars, and my parents took my spaceship! (I remember this sentence was finished with a smile. Alas, I couldn't hold it any longer, and then I hung up the phone myself. )
Feng Wan: What? Where are you? Still laughing!
Mars Project 2: This is the sequel to the panda story.
Panda: Hello, Miss Feng Wan!
Feng Wan: Hello, what's the matter?
Panda: A man called you two days ago and said that he had run away from home. He always makes trouble, and I think he is very wrong.
Feng Wan: Well, that man seems to be making trouble. He seems to say that he is on Mars. Anyway, what are you trying to say?
Panda: Oh, Mr. Feng Wan, I want to tell you that last time I went back to Earth, I passed by Mars and saw him!
Feng Wan: You bastard! I'm so angry. )
Finally, we want to say, Mr. Feng Wan, although we played a trick on you, you are the memory of our generation, and we love you!