1. Don’t be obsessed with your brother, your sister-in-law will beat you up. 2. The mood of going to work is heavier than visiting the grave. 3. Don’t say I’m arrogant, it’s just that I refuse to deal with animals! 4. They say women are like clothes, and sisters are brands you can’t afford. 5. Brother, you are not lonely. Because I am lonely with my brother. 6. My sister never speaks human language, what she always talks about is mythology.

7. Knowledge is like underwear, invisible but important. 8. Only mother is good in the world, and father is also good. 9. Gender: Male, Hobbies: Female. 10. Before I had a chance to touch the flowers, I was plucked out. 11. You are my Yulemei, so I can throw you away after drinking. 12. Whose husband is a temporary worker? 13. I just wanted to turn around gracefully, but unexpectedly I hit the wall! 14. Sorry, the user you dialed is married. 15. You who were born in the 90s have the heart of the 80s and the face of the 70s... 16. I am L'Oreal Paris, you deserve it! 17. If I can forgive your vulgarity, can you tolerate my pretense? 18. You do art, and I do you. This is called in-depth art. 19. It turns out that Goku has always been sexy: the most powerful leopard print skirt in history, red stockings, black boots and a steel pipe. 20. Secret love is a successful pantomime, but speaking out becomes a tragedy! 21. Format yourself just to delete you. 22. For the sake of the next generation of the motherland, no matter how ugly you are, you still have to fall in love. When it comes to the world being full of love... la la la la... 23. On the road of love, Russia always has stops and starts. My mother said that my legs and feet were not good. 24. Even if you want to cry again, you must smile and say: Your uncle! 25. On Qingming Festival, buy flowers to commemorate the dead love. 26. I have passed by a person countless times, and my clothes were all torn and there were no sparks. 27. Don’t argue with a fool, otherwise others will not be able to figure out who the fool is. 28. It doesn’t matter if your head is empty, the key is not to get wet. 29. Protect yourself, love others, and please don’t come out in the middle of the night to scare people. 30. Knowing that you are not doing well makes me feel at ease... 31. The farthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but when I am invisible and you are online, and when you are online, I am invisible. 1. Water Splashing Festival

On the Water Splashing Festival, everyone splashed water on each other to bless each other. Suddenly one person cursed: Damn, who splashed me? Others advised: Sprinkling you is a blessing.

Swearing. The reporter said: Don't do this, who poured boiling water on me?

2. Waiting for the bus

I went to work this morning to catch the bus. When I got to the platform, the bus It had started. So I chased and shouted: "Master, wait

I, master, wait for me!..."

This is a passenger from the car He stuck his head out of the window and said to me: "Wukong, please stop chasing me."

3. Self-defeating

In the bar, George was drinking beer alone. He suddenly felt that he was going to the bathroom. He was afraid that someone would drink his beer secretly after he left, so he wrote a note on the table: "I spit in the cup." When he came back, he found that another note had been added to the paper. One sentence: "I also spit out a mouthful.". . .

4. The voice is too loud

Zhuge Liang is a man who is proficient in eight kinds of skills, one of which is ventriloquism. But on this day, Zhuge Liang was discussing things with Liu Bei in the tent. Zhuge Liang suddenly wanted to fart, but he was afraid that Liu Bei would hear him, so he was embarrassed. He had an idea and said: "My lord, in order to adjust the atmosphere, how about I imitate the woodpecker call and call it to you?" Liu Bei nodded. Zhuge Liang imitated the sound of a woodpecker and took the opportunity to fart. Then he asked: "How is it, my lord? Do I learn the same thing?" Liu Bei said: "You can learn it again. You farted too loudly just now, and I didn't see it."

5. One day The ugly girl could never get married and hoped to be abducted. One day, her dream finally came true. She was kidnapped. The kidnappers thought she was ugly and sent her back to her place of origin. The girl refused to get out of the car. The kidnapper gritted his teeth and stamped his feet and said, "Let's go!" I don’t want the car anymore!

6. The train was very crowded during the Spring Festival travel rush. A certain person took advantage of the stop and stuck his butt out of the window to defecate.

The inspector under the car noticed and yelled: Fat man holding a cigar, put your head back

7. I was on the side of the road and saw a penny. I was about to bend down to pick it up. It turned out to be phlegm. I *, damn mother, who vomited so roundly?

8. One night, a naked man hailed a taxi. The female driver stared at him intently. The naked man was furious and shouted: You have never seen a fucking naked man! The female driver was also furious: Let me see where you got the money from!

9. When the nurse saw a patient drinking in the ward, she walked over and whispered to him: "Be careful!" The patient smiled and said: "Baby."

10 An old man lost his car. When he put the newly bought car downstairs, he locked three locks and put a piece of paper: Let you steal it! The car was not lost the next day, and there were two more locks and a piece of paper that said: Let you ride!

11. In a junior high school mathematics class, the teacher was talking about equation transformations. He rolled up his sleeves on the podium and shouted: Attention, students! I'm going to transform! ... 12. Professor v asked: What do rotten radishes and pregnant women have in common? One student’s clever answer: It’s all the bugs’ fault. Only scored 60 points. Another student actually got full marks, and his answer was: It was all because he took the exam late. Haha