We are heartbroken for our children and our mouths are worn out. The children wouldn't listen, but they were angry with us.

Children are less and less motivated to learn, and everyone looks anxious. It costs a lot of money to enroll him in a cram school, but it has no effect.

Children have less and less words to tell us, and they close the door and go back to their rooms after dinner every day. I don't know what he is thinking more and more.

During this period, the children have been complaining about headaches and stomachaches, and often take time off from class. Now he has completely stopped going to school.

Children's mood is getting worse and worse, they are often unhappy and often cry secretly. He went to the hospital and was diagnosed with mild depression and moderate anxiety. ...

We will be particularly anxious: what happened to our child? We gave our hearts to him. Why is this happening?

Maybe in normal times, we will have such a view. I only talk about him when it's right. I criticized him because I was good for him. I am a responsible parent, so I care about him. Then why is he so ungrateful?

Perhaps we have forgotten a very important point: relationship is greater than way, and way is greater than content. It doesn't matter what you say, what matters is how you say it, how you may say it, and what kind of parent-child relationship Guan Jian has.

Parents' education for their children lies not in the right or wrong content, but in whether the educational method is correct and the educational behavior is effective. Some parents educate their children to be seamless and logical, and children just don't buy it; Then some parents mean nothing to their children, even nothing at all, but children just trust them.

1, so when children have various situations and problems, they must first reflect on what their parent-child relationship is like.

2. Many seemingly children's problems actually reflect the overall situation of a family. It is possible that we think that the relationship between husband and wife is not harmonious, but it is actually only a matter between husband and wife, which actually has a great influence on children. Because he is in this family system, the sensitivity and sensibility of children are very strong, so he will become the spokesperson of the whole family situation.

3, whether we can allow children to grow up in mistakes and allow children to make mistakes that may be made at every age. And the result of making such mistakes is often good. Because he will have more understanding, more thinking and more adjustment in his mistakes. Then grow up slowly in the process of continuous improvement. If we don't allow children to make mistakes, we are afraid that they will make mistakes, so when they make mistakes, they will be severely criticized and accused. Then, in the long run, children may become timid, dare not try anything, and lose the courage and experience of innovation and exploration, which is not good for their growth.

The problem is not a problem, but an improper solution.

4. Don't label children easily. If the child doesn't do well in the exam, we shouldn't criticize him as soon as we come back He was depressed because he didn't do well in the exam. If we label him more at this time: you just don't work hard, you just play mobile phone every day and so on. Then in his mind, he will think he is a bad boy, he can't do anything, and he will lose the motivation and confidence to move on.

5. Don't overemphasize right and wrong. Maybe you remember a video. When a mother was lecturing her daughter, her daughter raised her voice again and again and said, "What if I am wrong?" ? Didn't I admit my mistake? I want to be quiet! "However, my mother said that she had a bad attitude and repeatedly stressed that she was wrong. And the children's emotions are getting more and more, raising their voices over and over again to emphasize "let me be quiet." "

What we have to reflect on is, do we want the problem to hit the children, or do we want to fight the problems with the children?

Relationship is greater than education, and good parent-child relationship is the foundation of everything.