Summarized a few interesting jokes about football. Just take a look and don’t take it too seriously. A few years later, Torres held his daughter in his arms and said to him: There was once a time. A Spanish player, he only scored a few goals in the club and was not a main player in the national team. He only came on the field at the last moment of the final, but scored one goal. However, he ended up lifting both the Big Ears Cup and the Laudenay Cup! Give those who laughed at him a hard slap! My daughter said: Who has such good luck? Torres replied: ....it's your Uncle Mata! Torres then told his daughter: Once upon a time, there was a player who left Iberia alone to pursue a career in the Premier League. He put on a red jersey and lived in the middle of the pack, but he never achieved anything. But at the lowest moment, he still followed the Matador to win championships on the bench, defeating all doubts, and perfectly uniting soy sauce and greatness. Daughter: Dad is so great. Torres: Shut up! This is your Uncle Reina! ! There are many more dialogues between Torres and his daughter, so I won’t list them all. The origin of the nicknames of the four great talents in North London is Robin van Persie (Fan Ambition). The origin of this nickname is because when Van Persie left Arsenal, he said that it was not because of money but because he had the ambition to compete for the championship, so fans Jokingly called Fan Zhizhi. The second is Cesc Fabregas (loyalty and righteousness). The reason for loyalty is that Fabregas is extremely loyal to professor Wenger. He is known as "fabregas with loyalty, righteousness and courage". Later, Fabregas joined Barcelona because of He does not hesitate to pay the transfer fee himself, which is called the "back transfer method" by fans. The third Nasri (Nasri), Nasri performed well after Xiaofa left Arsenal and became the core of the team's midfield. Later, Nasri left Arsenal and joined Manchester City in pursuit of high salary, which made the fans dissatisfied. , so Nasri is called "self-interested". The fourth Alexander Song (Song Gongming), Song who performed well at Arsenal that year wanted to get a higher honor, so he left the Gunners to join Barcelona, ??so he was nicknamed "Song Gongming". Pique's Nickname Barcelona's central defender Pique has many nicknames, such as "Piqué": Before a certain national derby, Pique said that he could see all the fake moves and attempts of Ronaldo, but when he got to the stadium Pique was always deceived by Ronaldo to complete the shot, so fans called it "Picture Seeing Through". Pickenbauer: Pique played as a world-class central defender in Barcelona and the national team. He became famous at a young age and had great talent. He was considered to be the successor of King Bei, so he was nicknamed "Pickenbauer". Pi Qixi: When Barcelona encountered Bayern in the Champions League, they were defeated 7-0. Because Pique was the leader of Barcelona's defense, he was nicknamed Pi Qixi. Piqiola: Pique's wife is Shakira, and then... The origin of Drogba's African Andy Lau. Drogba's nickname is World of Warcraft, which fans all know. There is also another nickname called African Andy Lau, who is Because Drogba always makes his hair sleek and smooth in every game, and because of his slippery knees, he is nicknamed "Slippery". In addition, he is very influential in C?te d'Ivoire. , and handsome, with the same fame and appeal as Andy Lau, so Drogba was named "African Andy Lau". The National Football Team’s jokes. The National Football Team’s Top 12 God’s Predictions: It’s an honor to lose in the first game, a draw at home in the second game, fall short in the third game, a life-and-death battle in the fourth game, theoretically qualify in the fifth game, a pity to be eliminated in the sixth game, Seven battles of honor, the eighth game will determine the overall situation, the ninth game will be training for the next year, and the tenth game will see hope... The investment theory of the national football team: If you spend 1,000 yuan from 1990, every time the national football team If you bet on losing in the game, you will now have about 4.59 million yuan. Stocks, bank financing? Don't be ridiculous, what else is more stable than the national football team? ! Not every milk is called Deluxe, and not every team is called Deluxe. The Chinese football team has been losing professionally for 30 years. It has been imitated and never surpassed. We don’t score goals, we’re just football porters. National football financial management! Worth having! Jokes about the national football team saving people: Don’t criticize the national football team, the national football team is the savior of a buddy of mine. Last year, he had a car accident and became a vegetative state. He has been lying in the hospital and could not wake up no matter how hard he screamed. The doctor said there was no hope. . .

Until last month, the nurse turned on the TV one day and it happened to be a national football match. He just got up and turned off the TV... 1. When Yao Ming first debuted, he went to watch a friend's match. The home team was lagging behind, but the players had no fighting spirit and no desire to fight. Yao Ming couldn't stand it in the stands. He pumped his fist and shouted to the court: We were only five points behind and there were still 10 minutes left. Why did you give up so quickly? ! Yesterday we came back chasing eight points in 5 minutes! come on! "Go away!!" Fan Zhiyi shouted on the court.

2. Torres said to his daughter: "Once upon a time, there was a player who left Iberia alone to enter the Premier League. He put on a red jersey and wandered in the middle. He never achieved anything. But he still followed the Bullfighting team at the lowest point. Winning the championship on the bench, he defeated all doubts and perfectly unified soy sauce and greatness." Torres: "Shut up! This is your uncle Reina!"

3. Shandong Luneng Taishan player Yang Xu lost to Jiangsu Sainty 1:2 in a match.

After the game, he said: "Jiangsu's use of centers and defenders with foreign aid is not conducive to the long-term development of Chinese football."

People gave him the nickname-Yang Changyuan.

4. Balotelli, formerly known as Balotelli, is a wonder in world football. People call him the incarnation of an angel and an idiot. When he first arrived in the UK, Bashen was speeding in a luxury car and was stopped by the traffic police for inspection. He found bundles of cash in the car. The traffic police asked: "Why did you put so much cash in the car?" Bashen thought about it. I thought, and said in broken English: "Because, I can."

5. The main players of a certain team are: Mingsong, Third Prince, Taijun, Five Brothers, Mobile Phone, Juan, Vida, Prophet, Facial Paralysis, Pants Horse, Kova, Braided Handsome, Second Brother, Maracas King, Bo Airplane, Bo Shen... Then the current chairman of the team, Brother Monkey, and the former chairman, Dad, the two most successful coaches are Wizard and Magic bird. Nicknames are part of football culture, just like the above if you are not familiar with them, you will have no idea what I am talking about.

6. Busquets: It’s raining. Messi: Fart, where did it go? Busquets: Why did I lie to you? Messi: Oh, I really did it.

7. 1. Torres said that he will win the title of Premier League goalscorer again. 2. Diaby said he is coming back. 3. Van Persie said he is only loyal to red. 4. Ozil said that he will definitely score the next single goal. 5. Valdez said the food he hates most is butter. 6. Adriano said I had stopped drinking. It's too cold above. Come and stay for a while. Guoan is the champion.

8. Kaka: "I belong to God." Van Persie: "If there is one person who is loyal to Arsenal, it must be me. I will never leave Arsenal." Mourinho: " The best team loses the game.", "My team will always beat eleven." Ferguson: "I will not sell a virus to Real Madrid.", "If you want to buy Ronaldo, start with my body. Step over." Bayern: "We will never poach our competitors." Zhu Jun: "Shenhua either doesn't do it, or if it wants to do it, it will do it."

9. 28-year-old Totti vs. 21-year-old De Rossi said: De Rossi, the city of Rome will be yours after I retreat. When Totti was 32 years old: De Rossi, the city of Rome will be yours after I retire. When Totti was 37 years old: De Rossi, the city of Rome will be yours after I retire. At Totti's 50th birthday party, De Rossi: Captain, I'm leaving now, I don't want the city of Rome anymore!

10. Husky: Coach, I have an idea that can strengthen the team...

McAlish: The transfer application must be written according to the format, otherwise it will be ignored. But don’t approve.

11. Some people don’t know much about the odds in gambling. Let me give you some popular science here. For example, Arsenal's odds of winning the championship are 4.3. If you spend $1,000 to buy Arsenal at the beginning of the season, then at the end of the season, the $1,000 will be gone.

Tell a joke about the Premier League. Who is the trashiest player in Premier League history? This question may seem offensive, but it actually has a standard answer: Ali Dia. In fact, in my opinion, it should be called "the most ridiculous player in the history of the Premier League". "442" called him the worst player in the history of the Premier League, and "The Sun" ranked him first among the "Top Ten Rubbish in Football". Many people will wonder, how bad is this person's skills? Isn’t it like the old man playing shuttlecock downstairs in our house? That's not to say, this Ali Dia is at least an amateur player, and he is just so-so in a low-level league. The reason why he is ridiculed by so many people is because he joined Southampton in the Premier League through fraud. This is so ridiculous. Ali Dia is a Senegalese, but he lied that he was the cousin of World Footballer and Liberian star George Weah, and found his classmate (some said he was an agent, but it is unlikely that a player of his level would have Agent) pretended to be George Weah, called major clubs, and "recommended through face recognition" (pretending to be the future President of Liberia to make connections, which is a big face), saying that Ali Dia once played for Paris Saint-Germain, and also Represented the Senegal national team 13 times. They first deceived Bournemouth and Coventry, but neither succeeded. When he arrived at Southampton, boss Souness believed him and signed a one-month short contract with him, and sent him on as a substitute in the game against Leeds United shortly afterwards. However, this time, he was exposed and ran blindly on the court for 52 minutes. Some people thought that he was even running away from the ball, but he was replaced again. In the following months, he disappeared without a trace. It was later discovered that he had joined amateur side Gateshead and retired the following year to study business at Northumbria University in Newcastle. It seems that this is his ultimate goal. . . "442" joked: He lives in London now. If you find an old man wandering aimlessly wearing an old Southampton jersey at the weekend, please call Souness. It can be said that it is very funny. Let me answer.

A joke in the football world must not be told about the 2002 Korea-Japan World Cup. South Korea passed the test and reached the semi-finals. With its super strength and unparalleled foot skills, it conquered the Apennine Iron Bucket Team and stepped into the finals. Defeated the Spanish matador. Finally stood at the top of Asia.

Looking at today’s football world, the biggest joke is: China cannot find the best 11 players! Take a look at other sports in the sports world (not to mention women's football, which is unfair to men's football, because women's football is too strong). Which one is like men's football and is not only severely trampled by outsiders, but even makes us want to help outsiders make up for it? One hammer! 1. Bailey the Crow’s Mouth. Pele is known as the King of Football. I am skeptical about this. First, I really haven’t watched much of his games. Second, Maradona is indeed very powerful! Third, compared with the football skills and tactics of Maradona's time, I feel that the football skills and tactics at that time were much inferior. In terms of goalkeeping skills alone, I feel that I can travel back to that era to be a goalkeeper. After retiring, Pele was really a crow's mouth. He was optimistic about which team would win the World Cup and which team would either not appear in the group or be eliminated by a weak team. He was so accurate that every strong team was afraid of his mouth. When ball protector Henry Li Yi was still playing football, he was quite outstanding, with outstanding physical fitness. He also won the league championship in Shenzhen and was quite popular at that time. During another game interview, he made an astonishing statement, "I have to protect the ball like Henry," which made countless people laugh out loud. Li Yi's words later reached Henry's own ears. In 2017, the two had an entertaining confrontation. This also satisfied the wishes of most fans to see who was more similar. As a weirdo, Li Yi invented the word diaosi in Li Yi’s Tieba. He is also considered an awesome person. When the first phase of the Galaxy Battleship visited Beijing, the Chinese player representative was World Football Miss Sun Wen.

At this time, Zidane looked confused and asked Beckham next to him, why is a woman coming up? Is there no men playing football in China? Beckham shrugged and said, of course there are men playing football in China, but they all play like women. As a die-hard fan for more than 20 years, he has many magical nicknames, such as Mei Laowu, Qi Xuanzong, and Gao Jiji. ..Let’s take a look. In the 2018 season, Messi*** led the five major European leagues in five statistics. He ranked first in goals, assists, key passes, free kicks, and long-range shots from outside the penalty area. That season, he ranked first overall. He scored 51 goals and contributed 21 assists. Although he is over 30, he is still surpassing himself in previous years. But in the World Cup year, Messi was unable to produce outstanding results for the national team. Argentina was eliminated by France early in the World Cup that year, and there was still no gain at the national team level. In that year's Ballon d'Or selection, Messi unexpectedly failed to make the top three, and ended up only in fifth place. He was nicknamed "Mei Lao Wu". However, this nickname is not a satire on Messi's incompetence, but a self-deprecation by Messi fans to fight back against unfair selection. When Zidane coached Real Madrid for the first time, Benzema was not in good form, but he started every game, while Bale was kept on the bench, which was incomprehensible; the Real Madrid he coached did not have the style and style of a wealthy family at all. Momentum, even when facing second- and third-rate bottom teams, it is difficult to distinguish, but it often kills the opponent, which is very life-threatening; it also often comes back from the dead in the Champions League competition, and even won three Champions League championships in a row, breaking the reform. There is no magic spell for the team to defend the title. Based on the above three reasons, Zidane was nicknamed "Qi Xuanzong"! For domestic players, Gao Lin is a good forward, with excellent ball protection and breakthrough capabilities, and excellent assists. However, his shooting ability is really not flattering. He often shoots some anti-aircraft guns and misses opportunities, so he is nicknamed "Gao plane". But as Gao Lin gets older, we suddenly find that there is now less "Gao Linsmann" who misses opportunities in front of the goal, but there is also less "Gao Linsmann" who creates opportunities. It’s better to ridicule Gao Lin less and cherish his remaining football time. In the 11th round of the 2015 Chinese Super League, during the match between Chongqing and Liaoning, Chongqing goalkeeper Sui Weijie was standing next to the goalpost drinking water when his opponent got a free kick in the frontcourt, but was quickly served by Liaoning team Qin Sheng's free kick, by Ding Haifeng. Pushing the empty goal to complete the goal, Sui Weijie didn't react at all during the whole process. This conceding goal was widely reported by the media at the time and even became popular abroad, shocking the world of football. Since then, Sui Weijie has been dubbed the "Water Drinking Brother". Afterwards, Sui Weijie was fined 50,000 yuan by the club for conceding a goal. He really lost both his reputation and his fortune. In the 2001 match between Shenzhen and the South Korean Suwon Samsung team, the Shenzhen team performed well and successfully won the game, gaining the right to qualify for the AFC Champions League group. In the game, Li Yi, who served as the starting forward, greatly restrained the opponent's defender. During the routine interview after the game, he made great contributions to the team's advancement. Li Yi excitedly said a well-known saying, "I protect the ball like Henry." At that time, Henry had a nickname called Henry the Great, so people also gave the title "The Great" to Li Yi. There are many villains in world football, and the most famous among them is Pepe. He once faced Messi who was lying on the ground, looked at the sky, and nonchalantly predicted the position of Messi's hand, and stepped on it, causing Messi to roll on the ground; he also once swung his opponent after he fell to the ground. The long leg kicked the opponent's back viciously, as if he was going to kill him, and he was suspended for 10 games. As of March 2020, Pepe has received 13 red cards in one game. He is a villain on the court who scares forwards. There used to be a legend of "Pepe to the south, De Jong to the north". The "monk" is not Pepe. None other than. When Chinese fans first came into contact with Serie A, it was at its peak and was known as the "Little World Cup". At that time, Juventus followed the 1-0 doctrine and often exchanged 3 points in the game at the minimum cost. And after every lead. Juventus players began to kick in the backcourt. Unable to hold on, the commentator ridiculed them as a group of old women who did not want to attack. In addition, the head coach Lippi has white hair, which further confirms the title of "old woman". In the Premier League game of the 2014/2015 season, Ashley Young had a magical scene. Manchester United player Ashley Young, who was directing his teammates to position, was hit by a piece of falling bird droppings, which happened to fall into his mouth, and This scene happened to be captured by the camera. Since then, Ashley Young has changed his name to Ashley Xiang.

Although Professor Yang was a little unlucky in this game, this piece of bird droppings seemed to have opened up his second line of Ren and Governor. In the subsequent games, Professor Yang fought more and more fiercely, not only changing the fate of being purged, but also firmly entrenching Di Maria. Pressure on the bench. This mouthful of bird droppings has also become a good story! In fact, there are many interesting nicknames not only in football, but also in basketball. Let me share three. Westbrook is affectionately called the Turtle for two reasons: First, his extremely excellent physical fitness. He has experienced at least three knee injuries, but every time he comes back from injury, he not only comes back with full blood, but also is even more amazing. Each time he comes back with more firepower than before the injury. This abnormal physical fitness is very similar to those four in the sewer. Maybe Westbrook really comes from the sewer. Secondly, his appearance really looks like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, especially after wearing glasses, he is almost carved out of the same mold. Migrant worker Du is people's ridicule of Durant. He is a millionaire, but he always shows the characteristics of a migrant worker. No wonder others say that Durant's temperament is really unique. In 2018, Durant, who was with the Warriors at the time, went to inspect the Chase Center, the team's new home. Dressed as a contractor, Durant actually fulfilled the role of contractor perfectly. People who didn't know him would probably think of him as a contractor. Really a contractor. Rubio, who was born in 1990, shined in 2006. With his super quadruple-double of 19 points, 10 rebounds, 13 assists and 11 steals in the European Championship semifinals and 51 points, 24 rebounds, 12 assists and 7 steals in the final, he was known as the Golden Player. child. However, he did not show complete adaptation when he came to the NBA. He made 1 extra shot in many games and scored only single digits. He was ridiculed as "Lu Yizhong". Now in his thirties, the old golden boy is still contributing his last strength to the country and deserves respect. Regardless of football or basketball, there are many interesting nicknames, and these nicknames represent our youth. Whenever I see these nicknames, I can't help but ask "Where did our youth go?"! Some jokes about the national football team and the world's football jokes. Arsenal dominates eight matches and the Chinese team occupies the other two matches.

One day, Brazilian fans, Japanese fans and Chinese fans saw God. God said they could ask him a question and he would give them the answer.

Brazilian fans asked: "Oh God, God, when will Brazil win the World Cup?" God replied: "10 years." The fan said: "Thank God, I can see it in my life."

Japanese fans asked: "Oh God, God, when will Japan win the World Cup again?" God replied: "50 years." The fan said: "Thank God, I should be able to see it in my lifetime." "

Chinese fans asked: "Oh God, when will China win the World Cup?" God pondered for a long time and said: "I'm afraid I won't be able to see it in my life." —— ——Japanese football learned from Brazil and invited Brazilian coaches. As a result, Japan successfully reached the World Cup finals. Chinese football learned from Italy and invited Italian coach Lippi. As a result, China successfully pulled Italy out of the World Cup (in the 2018 World Cup, Italy did not enter the finals) ———— Question: Why does Mongolia still retain its navy? Answer: Tsk, doesn’t China still retain its men’s national football team? ———— The Chinese team only needs 5 steps to enter the World Cup: Step 1. Through operation, let FIFA allocate a spot to Antarctica; Step 2. The Chinese men’s football team is assigned to the Antarctica division; Step 3. The Chinese men’s football team competes with the Penguins. Right to qualify; Step 4. Draw with the Penguins in the away game; Step 5. The home game is arranged in Sanya, and the Penguins will qualify directly after beating the Penguins. According to current reality, the only difficulty in this five-step plan is 4. ————Only the Chinese team and the Brazilian team can print five stars on their jerseys. ———— There are only two sports in China that are awesome, one is table tennis and the other is football. No one can beat one, and no one can beat the other. ————