There are a thousand reasons for you to leave early, and only one reason for you to stay. This reason is better than that one thousand reasons. It's the article I gave you from the secretary's writing network. -Zhou

When I think back to reading Niu Niu-A Father's Notes two years ago, I still burst into tears. This is not a book, but a grave built by a father with emotional bricks!

Zhou is not only a philosopher, but also a father. A child's article comes from the secretarial writing network. This article comes from the secretary writing network, which is better than all the fathers of philosophy. Even as long as his children live on the secretarial writing network, any philosophy will die.

But god has always been like this. He is jealous of happy people. He always destroys everything perfect and tells you, look! This is life! Fate began to covet Niu Niu (Zhou's child, this article comes from the secretarial writing network) before she was born, and was closely connected with her, pushing her children's articles from the secretarial writing network to the abyss step by step. First, Yuer's cousin (his wife Zhou, this article is from the secretary writing network) infected her with the flu for five months; Then a girl named untimely Sichuan decided to smash the floor in anger with sensitive Yuer, and her fever got worse. Then I met an arrogant and numb female doctor in the emergency department, which delayed the treatment; The worst thing was the doctor of medicine, who took Rain is falling all to have an X-ray, and twice! In this series of accidents, even if any link is broken, the child may not suffer from congenital fundus tumor, which is a terminal disease. I don't know what Zhou was feeling at that time. He took these stings out of his memory and wrote them down, so delicately. Fish and birds have eyes, but Niu Niu doesn't. The poor boy's article comes from the secretary writing network. She, born this way, yearns for and stubbornly pursues the light. When she sees a group of orange lights, she will laugh for a long time. On Niuniu's only birthday, her mother told the guests whether Niuniu's eyes looked like Persian cats, and her father told her that Persian cats were the most beautiful cats in the world. Niu Niu cried over and over again: "Knock, knock, knock …" She didn't understand why the world kept knocking on her. On those nights when Niu Niu was about to leave this world, she lay beside her father and whispered "Dad", and his father responded softly, just like whispering and gossiping. What could be more fascinating than this? Where are you going in this boundless world? ...

After Niu Niu's death, Zhou said, "I didn't hug enough when you were here, and I felt that there was too little time." When you left, my arms were empty, and I suddenly found that time was useless. I don't know what to do with so much time. Maybe time has only one purpose. It will help me-it will help me get closer to you every day. " Others say that Niu Niu is relieved, but this is actually ridiculous. Why do other children from the secretarial writing network chase in the sun, but Niu Niu must relax? As parents, the second half of their generation will eventually live in this absurdity. They look for any possible unusual opportunity, and unconsciously assume that if Niu Niu is not dead, she can wear a red scarf like other children, read the letters from the boys in the next class shyly like other children, or like other children.

In fact, we are never afraid of not getting anything, even if we really want it. What we are afraid of is losing what we once had. Why is lovelorn so painful? Many people may think it is the pain of being abandoned. In fact, the most important thing is not here, but the fact that we can't accept. The feelings that once touched each other, quietly passed away. Any emotion is like this, it is poured in and paid. This article comes from the secretary writing network, asking for nothing in return, just trying to hold it with the weak power of life. But there is always some power in the world we live in. In front of it, this article comes from the secretarial writing network, tears, looks weak and helpless!

Other people's children come from the secretarial writing network, and will be lovers, wives and mothers in the future ... and Niu Niu, she is just a daughter-a daughter forever!

Not "tears", but "tears"

-read Zhou's "Niu Niu"

Zhou Xinhuan

I read an article on the Internet that Zhou's Niu Niu is not a book that makes people cry after reading it, but a book that makes people cry. During the "Eleventh" period, I went to Xinhua Bookstore to buy books. I stood and turned over a page or two of Niu Niu: A Father's Notes, and tears welled up in my eyes. To some extent, tears are extravagant, because tears can wash away many impurities in people's hearts; Perhaps the love of parents is an instinct, and so is the awe and cherish of life. Once this feeling is awakened, every word in the book will make people feel distressed. In the later reading from beginning to end, I was really hurt by this love.

Niu Niu told such a story: Niu Niu's father is a philosopher and her mother is an innocent little woman. Although their marriage has problems, their feelings are fresh and unique. To her parents, Niu Niu is undoubtedly an angel, but this angel was recalled by God 18 months after she came into this world. She lingered on the irreversible journey of death, but spread laughter all the way. In this process, philosophers have been thinking about the important issues of life and death, and little women have gradually grown into real mothers. Three people depend on each other, warm each other, and get deeper and deeper. ...

If death is a proposition that human beings must face, then Niu Niu faced it long ago. She is both ignorant and spiritual. Her short bubble-like life seems to be designed to bear the pain, and the prelude to her life also means the end. But she has always been a "ya ya" in learning English, walking and seeing the world, and she is full of enthusiasm. She never cares about every inch of her life, but embraces every inch with childlike innocence. Philosophers represent paternalism and young women represent motherhood. They look at the world from different angles and ways, and their posture is totally different. After Niu Niu's death, philosophers and young women chose to break up, but Niu Niu was always a pain in their lives and remained in each other's memories forever.

Every life is accidental, but this does not prevent every life from being noble; Some lives are short, but they are all unique. Niu Niu's book has no such great sadness and pain. It tells the story in a simple way, without exaggeration or flattery. Its bitterness and laughter are direct, and its respect and love for life are awe-inspiring. This is not only a book in which an unfortunate father mourns the premature death of his daughter, but also a book in which he celebrates, commemorates and reflects on his life. Scholars' habits are easily contaminated, because they are heavy on the basis of philosophy; The injury and promiscuity that are easy to appear are deeply moved by the sincere and restrained narrative style.

In those days when I was immersed in reading, I would look into my eyes seriously when I washed my face and looked in the mirror every day. I began to forgive its myopia, its single eyelid, its unlit and unclear, and I especially thanked my parents for giving me a pair of intact pupils, because nothing is more terrible than hindering my free visual contact with the world. I imagine that Niu Niu's yellow "cat's eye" has an ugly and terrible tumor, which is gradually growing out of her eyes, devouring the light and then devouring Niu Niu's lovely and beautiful petite life. ...

Eighteen months, witnessed a life from birth to death, experienced every scene of tragedy, every detail, experienced great sadness and joy. Even if that "happiness" is a humble and intermittent gift from fate, it is particularly precious. The tragedy of "tearing up beautiful women for people to see" is presented to readers in a perfect and heartbreaking way from beginning to end: the characters in the play, whether they are Niu Niu, the father (author) who is a philosopher, the mother of a young woman (it rains all over) or even Jane, a supporting role, are deeply involved in it and will never slack off any of them, even if they are as small as mustard beans. Although people can't help crying and laughing, they all go all out. ...

Once upon a time, reading Lu Youqing's "Diary of Death" and Tao Jin's wife's "Memories of Gone Years" was far from such a shock. Compared with Niu Niu, the first two are more or less artificial-although they are blasphemies against the dead, please forgive my unintentional disrespect.

Niu Niu's Alternative Reading —— Please choose to read it yourself.

After watching Niu Niu, I really can't get rid of some words. I don't know why, but the tone is very poisonous. I'm sorry if I hurt everyone's eyes and hearts.

■ It seems that doctors will always be strong in books. But doctors are strong in front of patients and weak in front of diseases, just like others. In short, doctors never know which direction the disease will develop next. He can only ponder and guess. He's shaking. He is very careful.

Patients always want an answer of 100%, but doctors can only say one possibility.

Please don't be too demanding.

■ In Zhou's Causality Chain, compared with others, why should we describe that perspective in such a colorful way? Is it really just that doctors have no depth? Until recently, the practice of screening tuberculosis by fluoroscopy was completely denied; What qualifications do you have to demand the understanding of medicine and the difficult problems of health economics fifteen years ago? Compared with the torrent of the times, the so-called personal destiny refers to this.

To put it bluntly, do you have any proof? Should it really be more relevant than the quarrel between husband and wife that makes Niu Niu's mother catch a cold and cause pneumonia?

■ The story about Niu Niu is a case in the medical ethics textbook. I think if Zhou knows the specific situation, I'm afraid I won't be happy:

A newborn was found to have a malignant tumor-retinoblastoma. His parents are faced with the choice of removing their children's eyeballs or taking conservative treatment. After the parents chose the latter, their condition deteriorated sharply. At this time, should the child's parents be euthanized?

That's it. It stripped Niu Niu's memory into vivid life, and only extracted those elements and put them into the four-grid method, which became a tool for science to defend itself.

I think Zhou, as a poet, can't tolerate this.

■ About the "TMD" in the book: Do you know how dazzling these words suddenly appear when they are sensational? I really don't know if Zhou scolded the street for grandstanding or for grandstanding!

The power of language depends more on form than on content. The intermittent yearning, sadness, hesitation and loneliness in the book are enough to make readers feel mixed; Then why use the three-character national curse to enhance the so-called expressive force?

■ Niu Niu, she once came to this world, enjoying joy and suffering; Then, there is nothing to regret. Life is these two things.

Besides, Niu Niu is so happy. At least she has parents who don't dislike her, a good family environment and experts invited through various relationships;

She will not fall into the embarrassing situation of being discriminated against because of her gender, unsustainable because of poverty, and insignificant because of being ordinary.

She can use expensive demerol, which was almost harsh in the use of narcotic drugs in the early 1990 s;

She won't be protested by her neighbors because she cried all night ...

■ I met a young mother who had her eyeball removed because of olfactory neuroblastoma. Her child was still in its infancy. After the operation, radiotherapy leads to eye erosion and infection, so it is necessary to go to the hospital regularly to clean up the fungal mass inside.

Without anesthetic, she shouted "Yo! It hurts! " , while laughing wryly; Finally, the doctor made an appointment with her for the next treatment. She said: I will go to radiotherapy this afternoon, and I will go to the prosthetic factory to order artificial eyes tomorrow; Come back next week. My schedule is so full that I can hardly keep my hands full. I have to get better quickly. The children at home are always looking for their mothers. ...

I admire such courage.

■ I also sigh or cry for Niu Niu, but I can't stand Zhou's petty complaints and bitterness. After all, I am only a mortal. Philosophers and poets are really unreliable. ...

The scene of a father guarding his doomed child is unusual, but heartbreaking. Niu Niu, an unfortunate and happy daughter, left quietly after 562 days in this strange world with her attachment and yearning for the world and her parents' double love, in her father's repeated desperate prayers. Multiple retinoblastoma is a terminal disease with an incidence of only one in ten thousand, but this one in ten thousand misfortune happened to fall on the lovely Niu Niu, which became 100% of this unfortunate family. Whether we like it or not, there is such a thing as despair in the world! Niu Niu was diagnosed with terminal illness shortly after her birth, and spent a short time with this terminal illness for one and a half years. In this book, Zhou wrote down the loveliness and pity of his daughter Niu Niu, the mixed feelings of love and hate when his wife raised her daughter in the shadow of death, and their thoughts beside the cradle and grave. For the author and his wife, Niu Niu's story is the most beautiful and tragic story in their lives. One-and-a-half-year-old Niu Niu shook her little hand, sighed lightly, stopped breathing and left this world. The most affectionate Zhou, with his pen, kept the mood of caring for his daughter in the shadow of death after spending 562 days and nights with Niu Niu. Velco's three-dimensional and imaginary line drawing illustrations make people feel that Niu Niu is at your fingertips.