Does anyone know of examples of "self-improvement"?

Children should strive for self-improvement

During the Kangxi period, Liu Yinshu, the governor of Guizhou, told his old man to return to his hometown and wanted to use his life savings to build a bridge for his hometown. But his children objected to him: "You have been a high-ranking official all your life, but we have not received any glory. It is so easy to look forward to your return home, but you ignore us." Liu Yinshu was very sad. He felt that although he was innocent, he had neglected education for children. So, he spent all his savings and spent five years building the bridge and named it "Yuxiu Bridge". After the bridge was repaired, he said to his children: "The reason why I used all my savings to build the bridge is to tell you with facts that you can walk your own path and create your own life. It is better to rely on yourself than relying on heaven and earth." In order to To completely eliminate the children's dependence on their parents, he sold the bridge to the government for fifteen taels of silver.

What Liu Yinshu did deeply moved his children. His children would later become pillars of the country.

It should be said that Liu Yinshu's focus on cultivating children's self-improvement spirit is far-sighted, and he uses his life savings to educate his children, which can be said to be well-intentioned. This was true for the ancients, but how should today's parents view the cultivation of children's self-improvement spirit, and what role should parents play in it? Let’s look at two stories first.

Case 1 I have a pair of wings that have weathered the storm

My parents are both ordinary workers. Like other parents, they understand the importance of knowledge. Therefore, I became their hope, and I was determined to go to college.

However, suffering lies on the road to my dream. When I was six years old, my father was working the night shift when iron filings fell into his eyes and he became blind in his left eye. When I was eleven years old, my father had his left kidney removed due to hemorrhage surgery, and he could no longer perform physical labor. My mother was laid off when I was in the first grade of junior high school, and the family's livelihood was only supported by my father's monthly work-related injury subsidy of 200 yuan. The air seemed to be oppressive during those days. Such a family needs a son to take the lead. That day, I made a resolute decision: I would work and support myself in school.

I borrowed fifty yuan from my classmates and went to the wholesale market to buy some small decorative paintings and small handicrafts, preparing to be like the vendors at the school gate. I didn't expect that things that were commonplace would become so difficult when it was my turn. At noon that day, I didn't even take the goods out of the bag. But if the goods can't be sold, I won't even be able to repay the fifty yuan I borrowed. At noon the next day, I went to the entrance of a relatively far school and laid out the goods. No matter how much I encouraged myself, I didn’t dare to shout. After a long time, a little classmate came over and asked me: "Is this for sale?" I nodded hurriedly. I made a dime that day, the first dime I ever earned. At that moment, I deeply realized the hardship of making money, and understood how much sweat and hard work went into the money my father usually gave me.

A month later, I earned 80 yuan. I spent 23 yuan to buy the long-awaited "Ti Dian". Walking out of the bookstore, I suddenly felt that the sky was so blue. When I got home, my father asked me in surprise where the money came from, and I told him. He said nothing. But I saw the corners of his mouth trembling, and I knew he was trying to control his emotions. More than a week later, at noon, when everyone was having dinner, my father suddenly asked me: "Where did you get the food from?" I was very surprised, but he didn't even look at me, he just stretched out his chopsticks to pick up the food. Soon, my father, like me, started to set up a street stall in front of a primary school to sell goods... I am very grateful to my father, his behavior is a silent encouragement to me. And I truly felt that the fire of destiny was actually in my own hands...

Once, I squatted in a corner of the night market and shouted. An eight or nine-year-old boy was attracted by my handicrafts, but his mother refused to buy them. When she pulled him five or six meters away, I suddenly heard her scolding: "Did you see it? If you don't do well, If you study, you will only be able to set up a street stall in the future.”

Although I have long been accustomed to being scrutinized, I also feel the pride of being self-reliant. But at that moment, I was deeply hurt. I think of my mother who cleans the corridors, and my father who works despite being sick. They are also engaged in jobs at the bottom of society, but they are the most loving parents in my heart, the most perfect parents. I think that I will win the respect of others with my own labor and let my parents live a happy life.

The easiest time every year is during the winter and summer vacations, because there is plenty of time and the goods are not limited to selling to primary school students.

During the winter vacation that year, I wholesaled a few bags of sticky bean buns from the morning market, and during the afternoon rush hour, I went to the nearby roadside to sell them. In less than two hours, all the bean bags were sold out. I earned 36 yuan, which was the most I earned in a day. I was very happy. The next day, I wholesaled a few more bags, and they were all sold out. On the third day, I went to the familiar place to sell it, but few people bought it. After thinking about it, I realized that people eating bean buns are a kind of early adopter and nostalgic mentality. However, the floating staff in a place is fixed, and those who want to try something new have already bought it, and the business will naturally slow down. So I kept changing places, and my dad also came to help. In the past twenty days, we walked all over the nearby roads and earned more than 600 yuan. That Spring Festival was the happiest holiday I have ever had. My parents were very happy, I think because they saw their daughter growing up day by day...

In this way, I completed my studies by relying on my own efforts, and I scored full marks in the college entrance examination essay, with a total score of 600. Admitted to Harbin Engineering University.

Excerpted from the oral narrative of the first issue of "China Youth": Cao Shuyuan

The picture shows a girl selling goods on the street

A little girl selling goods

< p> It should be said that Cao Shuyuan is unfortunate. She has experienced so many hardships since she was a child; but Cao Shuyuan is also lucky. It was those unfortunate encounters that made him understand life. I think every reader will have a respect for Cao Shuyuan. However, the following case may make people feel a little sad.

Case 2 Mother’s “Old Son”

——A Speech by a Juvenile Delinquent

My name is Dai Yu, a girl in her prime, who should live her life now In a world full of sunshine and color. However, I was imprisoned in a detention center for fraud.

From the day I can remember, my parents have called me "old son". They loved me as their old son, regarded me as the apple of their eye, and were never willing to hit or scold me. I feel like my childhood was golden. However, it is this kind of life of "stretching out my hands when I come to eat, and opening my mouth when I come to eat" that makes me lazy to eat. My sister does all the work at home, and I don’t even think about it. My greatest pleasure is eating delicious food and wearing beautiful clothes.

My parents also dreamed that I could go to college, but I felt that studying was very hard. I had to write, calculate, and memorize every day. If I failed, I would have to ask the teacher to approve it, so I could never mention it. I have no interest in learning, but my grades are certainly not ideal. In order to avoid criticism from parents and teachers, I always write cheat sheets during exams. As a result, I was often caught by teachers and parents were invited to the school many times. My parents saw that I was not good at studying, so they just let me go as I pleased. My sister sometimes tried to persuade me, but I wouldn't even listen. As time went by, she stopped caring. Without the pressure of studying or the supervision of others, I feel extremely free. I can watch TV as I like, from "Animation City" to "Midnight Theater".

As I grow older, I am no longer satisfied with being bored at home all day long. The world outside is very exciting, and I want to go out and see it myself. As a result, some classmates who spent money lavishly became my friends. We always hang out on the streets on Saturdays and Sundays. At first, my parents never interfered. It wasn’t until I was mixed up with unemployed young people that they became anxious. They asked me to sever ties with those people, but I, being willful since I was young, didn’t listen at all. If they don't like the friends I make, I'll quarrel with them. Later, I left home in anger, stopped going to school, and hung out in society with my friends. I met more and more bad people, and the path I took became more and more evil...

Once I I felt wronged from outside and suddenly thought that I had not been home for several months. I picked up the phone and it was my mother who answered. My mother cried when she heard my voice. She said: "Old son, where are you? Come back. As long as you come back, no matter what mistakes you make, you can be forgiven. Remember: there are only cruel children, not cruel fathers." Mom." After listening to my mother's words, I realized how cruel and heartless I was... I went home, and my father specially made a lot of my favorite things that day. I'm very happy, I haven't felt so happy in a long time. I stayed away from home for a while, and the warmth of the sun crept into my family again.

The good times did not last long, and the days of doing nothing made me feel bored. I'm too lazy to read, and I won't be allowed to do housework. I want to find a class, but my parents said I should wait until I'm two years younger. I can't eat and sleep all day long, and eat after sleeping. Soon I started calling those friends again. They agreed to take me out to play, and I was very happy. But my parents didn't agree. I quarreled with my parents again and left home cruelly.

We ate in restaurants, went to saunas, played the best disco bars in the city every day, and went to barbecue at night. To be honest, I know my parents love me very much. However, I am no longer a little girl clamoring for sweets and flowers. I can't bear to leave my friends. I am willing to talk with them and like to see their expressions when they listen to me tell new things. From them, I feel the value of my existence. Sometimes I don't know why, but the more they oppose it, the closer I get to know those friends. In this way, my home became a hotel, and my relationship with my parents became weaker and weaker. It wasn't until I walked into the detention center that I felt like I was waking up from a nightmare.

Friends, we live in a vast world. The vast world contains countless happiness and beauty. But behind beauty there is always the shadow of ugliness, and the gap between beauty and kindness is often filled with greed, selfishness, and laziness. I hope people will remember these evil lessons and never let the tragedy happen again.

The Cry of the Bird

It is really heartbreaking for a flower of life to be severely damaged when it is about to bloom. Let’s learn from this painful experience, what is the reason that makes Cao Shuyuan and Dai Yu’s performances so different? With this question in mind, I visited several parents and experts. Here are the views of several parents.

Parent A: I think there is such a big difference between the two children, which is directly related to himself. Compared with Dai Yu, Cao Shuyuan's childhood was gray. However, Cao Shuyuan was so motivated and her family's financial situation was difficult. Not only did she support herself in studying, she even shouldered the burden of the family. She is so sensible, she understands the hardships of life and the difficulty of her parents, and she uses her own labor to earn the smiles of her parents. She also likes to use her brain so much that she can quickly judge people's mentality when buying bean bags. I think Cao Shuyuan will definitely have a good life in the future. I really wish I had a daughter like this.

Compared with Cao Shuyuan, Dai Yu is too ignorant. The family created excellent conditions for her, but it became an excuse for her to be lazy and lazy. She doesn't like to study, and she will take advantage of opportunities when encountering difficulties. It was her indolence and lack of advancement that made her hang out with the homeless and unable to extricate herself. Sometimes when parents encounter a child, they always say that there is nothing to worry about.

Parent B: I think the different performances of the two children are related to the environment. Cao Shuyuan is unfortunate, but she still wants to survive in the face of misfortune. What should she do? Just work hard. I think this is what "the children of the poor will become parents early". On the contrary, Dai Yu has had superior conditions since he was a child. However, she is like a bird in a cage. After being fed well by humans, even if she breaks out of the cage, she will no longer be able to forage. At the same time, her rapid fall has a lot to do with the environment in which she interacts. "Since ancient times, great talents have suffered many hardships, while dandies have rarely been great men." The ancient saying tells us that difficult environments can sharpen people's will and inspire them to forge ahead.

Parent C: I agree with the two parents. However, I think family education is crucial in the growth of children. Dai Yu's entry into the detention center was directly related to his parents. They were so obedient to Dai Yu that they "were afraid it would melt if they were held in their mouths, and afraid of falling off if they were put in their hands." It is this kind of doting that makes Dai Yu become indolent, willful and unreasonable. Once a bad habit is formed, it is difficult to change it. Not only that, the child no longer wants to go to school for fear of hardship, and has no ambition. Still, they do not pay attention to her, and they still just let her do whatever she wants.

Everyone should note that after Dai Yu returned home for the first time, he also wanted to find some work. It should be said that this is a reflection of her progress, but her parents did not provide conditions. So she remembered those friends when she was bored. It is indeed regrettable that Dai Yu's parents did not notice the psychological changes of their children and just loved blindly.

On the contrary, in Cao Shuyuan's growth, her father's role at critical moments produced very good results. Just imagine, if Cao Shuyuan, who made money for the first time, received an angry shout: "Child, why don't you learn to do this?" Well, the result may be different. Cao Shuyuan's father was not good at talking, but he supported his children with actions. He should be said to be an ordinary but great father.

The parents expressed their own opinions and made people think deeply. However, education believes that education, environment, and heredity are all factors that affect a child’s growth. They complement each other and cannot be separated. If the three are combined, our educational results will be much better. Next, let's take a look at how experts recognize the different behaviors of the two children.

The different performances of Cao Shuyuan and Dai Yu are related to the strength of their own sense of self-improvement. Their different results exactly reflect the importance of self-improvement in children's growth.

The so-called spirit of self-improvement refers to the spirit of struggle that focuses on exerting subjective initiative to overcome all difficulties, independence and perseverance. It is the ability to discover and solve problems independently.

The spirit of self-improvement is an excellent tradition of the Chinese nation. From Kuang Heng, who cut through walls to steal money, to Sima Qian, who endured humiliation and wrote books; from Lu Xun, who gave up medicine and turned to literature to save the people, to Zhang Haidi, who was disabled and determined to challenge himself, the spirit of self-improvement of many people with lofty ideals has inspired generations after generations. youth. Now, the report of the 16th National Congress of the Communist Party of China puts forward the call to continue to carry forward the traditional virtues of China in the new era. This fully shows that cultivating children's self-improvement spirit has distinct contemporary significance. The spirit of self-improvement is the foundation of success. Only with the spirit of self-improvement can children have the motivation to move forward and proactively solve problems. Only with the spirit of self-improvement can children show perseverance and tenacity in the face of setbacks. It was the spirit of self-improvement that allowed Cao Shuyuan to get out of trouble and withstand all kinds of pressure; it was the spirit of self-improvement that allowed her to complete her studies and win respect.

On the contrary, in real life, many children seriously lack the spirit of self-improvement. They pursue enjoyment and are weak-willed. Even if you have certain ideals, it is for the various honors and enjoyment after realizing your ideals. But in the face of reality, there is no countermeasure, not much thinking, not much doing, and unwilling to make efforts. So I just envy other people's successful results. If there is no harvest, they will be dejected, even disheartened, and unable to recover. Some even broke the law and went to jail.

I think every parent hopes that their children will be like Cao Shuyuan, but they always think that their children cannot do it. In fact, self-reliance is the inevitable result of children's physical and mental development. This is because as middle school students grow older, their bodies grow taller and their physiques strengthen, and they can easily do things that were previously beyond their capabilities.

Physiological changes also affect their psychological changes. As a result, the sense of independence and adulthood begins to grow. They long for self-care and self-reliance and want others to recognize their adult status. Begin to transition from "obedience ethics" to "equality ethics". If this psychology is not satisfied, they will form a strong dependence due to "over-protection" and become timid and cowardly. On the other hand, they will eventually find a path that satisfies this mentality. If this mentality cannot be satisfied for a long time, they will behave in extreme ways. This is the reason why Dai Yu is with bad youths. Therefore, parents must fully understand the role of self-improvement in their children and be good at protecting their children's self-improvement.

Parents’ exchanges and experts’ comments explain the importance of self-improvement from different perspectives. But in daily life, many parents have some confusion about self-improvement. In order to let everyone get more information and solve the problems in daily life, we ask experts to answer questions and solve problems.

Parents: How should parents view their children’s dependence? How to help children overcome dependence?

Expert: Dependence is an emotional need. Everyone has different degrees of dependence. Children have little experience and are often at a loss when encountering problems. Therefore, it is normal to have a certain degree of dependence. of.

But the mentality of over-dependence is harmful. Children who are overly dependent often show no independent opinions and often feel helpless. They know that others are wrong but they go along with it because they are afraid of being abandoned. It is difficult for them to complete their own plans or do their own things independently. Sometimes people are willing to do things they don't want to do to please others, and are easily hurt by criticism or lack of approval. In the long run, it may have an impact on normal life and work.

Why do some children become overly dependent on their parents? This is often related to overprotective parents. Therefore, the first step to get rid of children's dependence is to change their parents. Parents should not allow their children to receive special treatment; do not pay too much attention to their children's performance, and avoid bragging about their children in public; do not easily meet their children's requirements for material enjoyment; do not panic when their children are slightly unwell; do not do everything, Face to face protection and so on.

Parents should try their best to create opportunities for their children to exercise. You can start with trivial matters in daily life and let your children do what they can. For example: requiring children to get up on time, go to bed, put away their own clothes, and take care of themselves; requiring children to tidy up their own desks, bring study supplies, and take care of themselves in learning, etc. You can listen to your children's opinions on non-principled issues. For example: when buying clothes for a child, within a certain price, the style and color can be decided by the child.

Parents should encourage their children to find opportunities for independent exercise. Encourage them to actively participate in activities organized by the school and actively participate in social practice activities. Take on more tasks during activities so that you have the opportunity to face problems independently and encourage yourself to make decisions and find solutions. Encourage them to take the first step bravely. When they complete something independently, encourage them in time to enhance their self-confidence. When children encounter setbacks, give them more help and understanding, analyze the reasons for failure with them, and study solutions to the problems.

Parents should also encourage their children to read more good books. Arm children's minds with examples of people with lofty ideals at home and abroad who strive for self-improvement in ancient and modern times, and inspire them to set up lofty ideals. At the same time, parents should encourage their children to have more contact with self-motivated children and learn from them. Because the role of peers in adolescence is sometimes greater than the influence of parents, the role models of peers can also play a very good role.

In short, there are many ways to overcome children's over-dependence. Parents can choose appropriate methods based on the characteristics of their children and the actual situation. After a long period of exercise, children's over-dependence will weaken. .

In order to test whether you have paid attention to cultivating your children's self-improvement spirit, we have provided you with a specific psychological test. You can choose one of the three alternative answers according to the actual situation and fill in the brackets.

1. Do you encourage your children to go out alone?