1: "Excuse me, sir, how to get to the United States?" "Who knows...ask the village chief!" 2: It doesn't cost electricity if you speak louder! 3: Don’t leave until the show is over, go have a meal - whoever goes will pay. 4: The cross talk is great! Criticize the ugliness, Huoxiang Zhengqi (promote righteousness). 5: The old man left behind more than a thousand pieces of traditional cross talk. After our actors’ continuous efforts over the years, there are still more than 400 pieces left. There are still 300 paragraphs that are not allowed to be mentioned, and there are 100 paragraphs that conflict with the construction of a harmonious society. 6: Listening to cross talk more shows that you are patriotic. There is a child in our neighborhood who can speak seven or eight foreign languages, including English, Japanese, Korean, South Slavic, North Slavic, West Slavic... Anyway, he can't be the same when sitting with the Eight-Power Allied Forces and yelling at each other! Tell him to go listen to cross talk. "Don't go! I don't understand!" I would have beaten him to death if the law didn't matter! He can't understand cross talk in seven or eight foreign languages! 7: The house we live in is riddled with holes, and if it rains, we will be killed. It rains moderately in the house when it rains lightly outside, and it rains heavily in the house when it rains heavily outside. Sometimes the rain is really too heavy, and the whole family goes to the courtyard to take shelter from the rain. 8: We decided to be like winged birds in heaven and broccoli on earth. 9: Everyone is willing to listen, willing to listen, still willing to listen, I will never force it. 10: This guy robbed the bank and drove up the North Third Ring Road. It’s half past five in the afternoon! When the police arrived, the road was blocked. 11: Your shameless look is very much like my charm back then. 12: Huh? You don't know me? I am an artist! I've been an artist for over a week. 13: Guo Degang: Brother Di, I hope that the world will be peaceful, that the people of the world will live and work in peace and contentment, that the country will be peaceful and the people will be safe, and that there will be no war. Is that okay, eh? God thought for a while, this is difficult, let’s tell the truth, I’m not that great, really, brother, I’m not refuting your face, and I won’t tell you anything else, can you do something else? Let's discuss something else. I brought a photo of Yu Qian with me. Brother Di, look at this. This is my senior brother. His name is Yu Qian (Li Jing). He is quite cold-looking and cannot find a partner. You can make him beautiful. Just a little bit. God: (Thinking about it) Let’s talk about world peace (tearing up the photo) Guo Degang: Hey, why did you tear up the photo? You disagree or disagree, why did you tear it up? I still keep it to ward off evil spirits! 14: The family is rich and drives a Cadillac with an opening of 13. As soon as you hear the sound, you can tell that it is a good machine, imported from Germany, with a "chugging, chugging" sound. Oh, Sanbengzi. As soon as you start driving, half of Beijing will be filled with black smoke, and the traffic police will shout directly at you: "Elder Sun, please take away your magical powers." 15: From now on, I will never eat lobster without cake. 16: If the grenades cost one dollar and six, I would have thrown you a hundred dollars first. If the law had not been ignored, I would have beaten you to death! 17: This young man looks like an actor with his face covered... 18: Okay! This plane is just like Daihatsu, and it also has a swing glass! ... Dafa and Xiali don't give me any reimbursement... There is no Dafa in Tianjin, so they all went to the United States... I flew to the United States for half a year and refueled with more than 40,000 yuan in gas. . 19: Guo: What should I do? I'm too rich. I don’t know how I spent it. Why? ! Yu Qian, how about I support you? Yu: Guarantee me? ! Guo: Ah... no... no matter how rich we are, we still have to choose our looks! 20: The birthday boy: Jade Emperor!~Something happened. The Jade Emperor: What’s wrong, birthday boy? The birthday girl: Do you have a hammer and nails? Lend me some help. My sika deer chewed up the railing. The Jade Emperor: The birthday boy, let me What can I say to you? It doesn’t matter if you ride the deer, you have to feed it!~ 21: Guo Degang: I got a good job as soon as I came in, building a chimney of more than 70 meters! Yu Qian: It’s really good! Guo Degang: We work early in the morning and finish the work late at night, and then they come to check and accept it, but they don’t give us any wages! Yu Qian: The quality is not good? Guo Degang: I took down the drawings and asked them to dig a well! 22: Guo: Hey~~~! There was once an opportunity to make money in front of me, but I didn't take it seriously. The opportunity has passed, and I regret it deeply. The most painful thing in the world is this. If God gives me another chance, I hope to tell the village chief: I am willing to go. If I had to add a limit in front of that salary, I hope it would be: 400 yuan.

23: It’s cold, so I sent you a coat. The post office said it was too heavy, so I took off the buttons and put them in my pocket. You can sew them yourself. 24: Paris... Did you know there is a zoo in Paris... Across from the zoo... Hey... There is a clothes seller across from the zoo... You can't say you buy clothes... You have to say you want goods... 25:──Wenshun, what did you get? ──I didn’t tell you that I brought boiled eggs. ──Give it to me.

Crosstalk (17 photos)──No... Guess how many there are. ──I guess you give me one. ──...If you guess it, I'll give you these two.──...I thought about it for a long time, five of them, right? 26:──It’s a denture──Throw it away quickly. ──Don’t throw it away, what a pity. ──What's the matter? ──Tie a small stick on it and use it to scratch the itch. 27: "The story I told today is not that far away from now. If you have elderly people at home, you can go back and ask - it was during the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period..." 28: Flight 9014, bound for Daxinghuang Village from Daxizhimen, fare is 5 yuan , please board the plane. You said this is so...so interesting. The flight attendant stood there and shouted, "Come on, get on, get on, there's a big seat, there's a big seat." Guarantee you a big seat! 29: When so-and-so was born, his father fell ill. After returning home, his mother had the most difficult time. Here is the husband, here is the child, both have to be taken care of. Feed this child with milk, feed that child with medicine, feed him with milk, and give him medicine. Give me medicine, give me milk. His father is very strong, and the child took the wrong medicine. 30: Withered vines and old trees, dim crows, small bridges and flowing water. The horse is thin in the west wind on the ancient road, the sun sets in the west, and the man with a broken heart... is in the hospital... but he still doesn't go to the hospital even if his intestines are broken! ...I am the number one master in tampering with Tang poetry and Song lyrics. 31: Those who abide by the law are melancholy in court, those with strong beams sing joyfully every night, those who benefit themselves at the expense of others ride on their mules, those who are upright and fair suffer hunger. Repairing bridges and repairing roads is blind, and there are many murders and arson. I went to the West and asked my Buddha, and the Buddha said: I can't do anything either! 32: "There is a bright moonlight in front of the bed. I suspect it is frost on the ground. I look up at the bright moon. (Pop! Knock on the wood) My name is Guo Degang. There are many people here. I am very happy. Thank you all for coming. We will leave later. Don’t leave, go eat. It’s 20,000 to listen to the cross talk. 33: “Why do we fall in love with the cross talk? It’s easy to tell!” Applause. As soon as I came on stage, 'today', wow - (thundering applause), 'we two', wow - applause everywhere, 'for everyone', wow - a round of applause, 'tell me a story', wow -, "Sound", wow--, (praising: every word is a clap!) "It's not good", wow--. You see how good it is today, not a single person applauds." . 34: Yu Qian: One tooth is still stuffed. Guo Degang: He ate lotus root and got a hole in his eye! 35: "I am a rich man. I was the only one who drove here backstage today, and they all came on foot. Those old gentlemen in Tianjin left on Tuesday. But my car has been having some problems recently. The speed was a bit slow. At first, I thought the carburetor was broken, but after checking, I found out that the pedals had fallen off..." 36: "So and so, so and so, everyone looks like a pancake all the time. It's okay. I just eat pancakes and steamed buns with rice. They are made of porcelain and are easy to carry. Sometimes I come backstage and bring pancakes and fruits to prepare for the banquet..." "I am the first person in ancient times to drink so much in the banquet. ” 37: Where did my gun go? Lend me the clothes of a security guard, I will wear them and beat him. "You are the only one who can be shot for five minutes. If you are caught like this, you will collapse first and ask questions later." 38: A gangster knows martial arts and no one can stop him! Scientists know martial arts and can't even stop gangsters! 39: I’m going to risk my life! 40: How would I describe his appearance to you? Have you ever seen roasted sweet potatoes? They were freshly roasted. They were too hot to hold in your hands. I accidentally lost my grip and dropped them on the ground. Over there, a kid ran up wearing spiked shoes and stepped on the sweet potatoes. . . His face looks like a piece of sweet potato. (Praise: His appearance can tell a story) 41: I want to go against the three customs. 42: You are very vulgar - but I like it.

43: (Henan dialect) "Why are you here? What have you been doing, you son of a bitch!" "I'm going to slap you!" 44: I came to the train station with Bias that day, and all the tickets were sold. No more prejudice. I went to a policeman and asked, "Do you know where the ticket seller is?" The policeman was delighted: "I'm still looking for him!" 45: I want to commit suicide and plan to jump off a building. I have researched this jumping off building, 2nd floor It’s different from the 20th floor. The 2nd floor is “Ah! Ah~~”, while the 20th floor is “Ah~~~~Pah!” 46: When I heard the news of your father’s death, the neighbors burst into tears: “Such a good person. , it’s too late to die!” 47: At around 12 o’clock in the middle of the night, the two gentlemen went out on the street naked, and Li Jing was the only one wearing glasses - if she wore a mask, it would be considered a three-point style. 48: The two nurses who came down are so beautiful: they are 1.7 meters tall, with sideburns and beards, and a wide palm to protect their heart hair. 49: Yu Qian’s father-Mr. Wang. 50: Li Jing has a cousin who can tiptoe under Xia Li in high heels. She is so shabby. Her photo is posted on the door to ward off evil spirits and on the bed for contraception. 51: Have you ever seen any gangster with a tattoo of Crayon Shin-chan? 52: I don’t know you yet! If you touch wine, you will get drunk; if you see the world, you will be confused; if you encounter money, you will become obsessed with it; if you pick up the pen, you will forget to write. One advantage you have is that your eyes turn digital as soon as you see a big girl. 53: "Single Sword Club" Everyone knows that Liu Guan and Zhang Taoyuan were sworn brothers. The three brothers knelt on the ground like brothers, and then the three brothers protected Monk Tang and went to Xitian to obtain Buddhist scriptures. There is this story in "A Dream of Red Mansions". 54: The mainstream cross talk community is not troubled by failure, but troubled by the lack of excuses for failure. 55: We all drove back to Beijing. Teacher Yu had a higher status than us. He saw us driving and looked down on us, so he rode his bicycle back.