Kong Qiu (55 BC/KLOC-0 BC/~ 479 BC) was born in Zhongni, Han nationality, and was born in Lu in the Spring and Autumn Period. Confucius was a great thinker and educator in ancient China, the founder of Confucianism and one of the most famous cultural celebrities in the world. China's first chronological history book Spring and Autumn Annals was compiled. Confucius' thoughts on words and deeds are mainly contained in the collection of essays "The Analects of Confucius" and "Family History of Confucius" preserved in the pre-Qin and Qin and Han dynasties. When Chen Wenxin, a professor at Wuhan University, gave a lecture in the "National Studies Class" of Wuhan University, he speculated that there were two reasons why Confucius lamented that "only women are difficult to raise": First, Confucius may have suffered setbacks in love; The second is that Confucius' married family life is not good. Although there is no theoretical basis, most people may still agree with Professor Chen's second inference.
We don't know whether Confucius suffered setbacks in the process of love. If there is, it may be related to the appearance of Confucius. Because Gao anxia's article "Look at Confucius" mentioned the appearance of Confucius: Confucius "has many white eyes and few black and white eyes." Nose everted, big teeth. The shape of the head is not good, it is high around and low in the middle, like an upside-down spittoon, and its head is not high. Such a description is not as elegant and graceful as the "standard Confucius statue" of later generations. It is really hard for a person to grow up like this. Besides, his family is poor. If he hadn't been brilliant and knowledgeable, he would probably not have found a wife! Therefore, it is not surprising that women refuse or make fun when they are in love, leaving a psychological shadow. Of course, this is all handed down by unofficial history, and there is no written record. And this is always a guess. But Confucius' married life is not very happy, but it is true. It is well documented that Confucius was a divorced man. But at that time, it was not called divorce, it was called "becoming a wife", which was the same as divorce later. There are seven provisions in the ancient Book of Rites: 1, no children; 2. fornication; 3. It doesn't matter to parents; 4, talk a lot; 5. theft; 6. jealousy; 7. Bad disease. However, it is not known why Confucius divorced his original wife. However, it is recorded in the Book of Rites: "The master asked the philosophers:' Did the former sons and sages lose their mothers?' Zisi is the grandson of Confucius. Here, a master asked Zisi, "Did your father dress his divorced mother in mourning?" Zhu, a scholar in the Song Dynasty, also commented on this: "The mother of Bo fish died when she came out." Apollo is the son of Confucius, and this historical record proves that Confucius was indeed divorced. But there is no evidence to prove why Confucius "became a wife". Probably because Confucius devoted himself to his career. In order to spread his knowledge, he travels abroad all the year round, just like a lost dog, and has no time and energy to take care of his wife and children. However, as a wife, she has to take care of the elderly and raise children. Coupled with not seeing her husband all the year round, it is inevitable that there will be resentment. At this time, Confucius was in high spirits, but he was never reused by the emperor, so he had to teach his students, so that someone could inherit his knowledge and naturally there would be no place to vent his grievances. In this way, the contradiction between husband and wife has arisen. Maybe after a long time, Confucius will probably get tired of his wife's nagging and their marriage, so he finally found a reason to divorce his wife and sweep the floor. There is such a sigh that "only women are difficult to raise". This situation is the same as that of couples quarreling and finally parting ways. Men who have been hurt by feelings and marriage will say, "Women don't have a good thing", while women say "Men don't have a good thing". But the difference is that Confucius' exclamation was recorded by his disciples and became evidence that Confucius discriminated against women. Confucianism pays attention to "self-cultivation, keeping the family in order, governing the country and calming the world", but building a harmonious and happy family is an important content to keep the family orderly. But Confucius didn't get his family together properly. It turns out that saints may not be able to handle housework well! Now is a society that advocates equality between men and women. We don't have to blame Confucius' prejudice that "only women are difficult to raise" After all, there are flaws. We should learn another sentence taught by Confucius, "choose good and follow it, change evil and follow it."