There is a famous saying in the temple of Delphi in Greece that "know yourself", while Socrates said that "a life without introspection is not worth mentioning." It is estimated that Princess Tiefan has never seriously reflected on who she is and what she really wants, so she chose to marry Niu Wangmo in a muddle.

Who is Niu Wangmo? He's not a man, he's a demon. Cows are demons in the underworld, and they have infinite power, so they are called "Niu Dali". Princess iron fan, good people don't marry, immortals don't marry, they have to marry demons.

The devil is evil, how can darkness come? Hong Haier's birth led to the weakest link, because after Princess Iron Fan had Hong Haier, it was easier for cows to cheat. Sex is one thing, but more importantly, from a man's point of view, the cow will feel excluded, and he can't squeeze into this intimate mother-child relationship.

It is natural for Princess Tiefan to attach importance to Hon Hai 'er. If Niu Wang wants to keep close relationship with Princess Tiefan, he should take care of Hong Haier together. But he is a demon, and he is not expected to do so.

It is reasonable that he is busy with a jade-faced fox princess, but it is undoubtedly a fatal blow to Princess Iron Fan and Hong Haier.

In feudal society, in the cruel power struggle between the master room and the concubine room, everyone wanted to protect themselves first. The essence of the struggle is that women find themselves excluded from the social power system and the family power system, and they must embed themselves into a man in order to embed themselves into the social power system, especially the family power system. Power struggle and insecurity, combined, may be the line of the circular chain of feudal families in China.

Psychologist Wu Zhihong once said, "The essence of power is control, and the opposite of power and control is love and freedom. If we run through the line of family reincarnation mechanism, the taste of love and freedom will become more and more, and the external reincarnation mechanism will also change. "

If no matter how the external conditions change, Princess Tiefan can deeply understand and accept Hong Haier and let Hong Haier enjoy full love and freedom, the ending will be rewritten.

Under the secret contest with Princess Yumian, Princess Tiefan is competitive, insecure and psychologically resentful. This kind of anxiety and panic will make her put more love on Hong Haier, which will affect Hong Haier's upbringing, and the result is excessive preference. Hong Haier, who is spoiled and pampered, is most likely to give her life a wrong meaning and end up as a problem child.

We usually say that the ideal family structure can be summarized as the relationship between husband and wife is the anchor of the sea. That is, in a family and clan, the relationship between husband and wife is the first, and the relationship between parents and children is the second. There should be deep feelings between husband and wife as a link.

But none of these, Princess Iron Fan, has the similar family structure as most problem families now: an anxious mother, an absent father and a problem child. The root of the problem is that Princess Tiefan didn't choose the right person from the beginning, and she was not strong enough, so she was at the mercy of Guanyin.

Intimacy is very important in interpersonal relationships. Boundaries are equally important. Unfortunately, Princess Iron Fan doesn't understand. Love is ok, but keep boundaries. You can like the devil, but when he runs amok, you should firmly and forcefully protect your borders. You can spoil Hong Haier, but as long as he is arrogant, tell him firmly that you can't, because the bottom line is here.

Princess Iron Fan is pitiful, even sadder, and doomed to lose Hong Haier. There are some reasons I don't understand, and I will be disabled for life.

Wechat official account: thoughts on Cissy parenting