Romantic social interaction between men and women in ancient China

In feudal society, the abolition of an establishment was full of dangers. Once it failed, it would be a "treason", The crime of "committing rebellion" would mean that his head would be moved. Therefore, although Huo Guang was very prestigious in the court at the time, he felt that it was difficult to do the job by himself and he had to find a few helpers.

Who should these helpers look for? After thinking about it, Huo Guang thought of a person. This person's surname was Yang and his given name was Chang. He was the prime minister at the time and was awarded the title of Marquis of Anping. However, Huo Guang was a high-ranking official below one person and above ten thousand people, and it was not convenient for him to discuss the abolition of the establishment with Yang Chang in person. Therefore, he secretly sent his right-hand assistant, Tian Yannian, who was the chief minister of agriculture at the time, to the Yang Mansion. Lobbying.

After arriving at the Yang Mansion, Tian Yannian told Huo Guang that he was going to abolish and establish the throne. When Yang Chang heard this, he felt very nervous and "feared that he didn't know what he was talking about." As soon as Tian Yannian saw that things were going to be tense, he stood up and changed his clothes. Yang Chang's wife was a woman who knew current affairs. She saw that her husband had heard about the important matter of abolishing the establishment of the Legislative Council, and now his attitude was ambiguous. She was afraid that a disaster would come soon, and she was very panicked. , so she immediately persuaded Yang Chang, she said: "Abolition is a major national event. Now the general Huo Guang has sent the chief minister to tell you that this has a profound meaning. If my husband does not share the same heart and mind with the general, you will hesitate. If we decide, you will be the first to suffer!" Yang Chang, who once served as the general and shogunate commander for Huo Guang, knew Huo Guang's temper well and felt that what his wife said made sense, but he did not want to express his position prematurely. Yang Chang's wife had no choice but to come forward herself. "Yan Nian returned from changing clothes, Mrs. Chang and Yan Nian talked together and made a promise, please follow the order of the general" ("Han Shu·Yang Chang Biography") - He and Tian Yannian discussed the way out and found a solution to the problem. method.

At this time, we were still in the Spring and Autumn Period when "rituals collapsed and music collapsed", and the etiquette system was not very sound. Therefore, some people think that this historical data is not enough evidence. Then, we might as well quote a few more from the Han Dynasty. example.

We know that in the Han Dynasty, after Shusun Tong ruled that etiquette was violated, all kinds of etiquette were available. However, at this time, instances of men and women meeting each other were often seen in history books.

The "Book of Han" records such a period of history. Liu He, the eighth emperor of the Western Han Dynasty, King of Changyi, because he did not abide by the ancestral system and was uninhibited, during the mourning period for his predecessor emperor, he fought cocks, played dogs and had sex with women. Therefore, He was despised by Huo Guang and others who were then the Grand Sima, the Grand General, and the official title of Bo Luhou. In order to prevent the foundation created by Liu Bang, the emperor of the Han Dynasty, from being destroyed in the hands of an incompetent playboy, Huo Guang decided to petition the Empress Dowager to depose Liu He and establish a new master.

Coincidentally, Ban Gu also mentioned some other stories in the "Book of Han" about non-marital and non-relative men and women in the upper class who did not avoid suspicion.

The "Book of Han·Biography of Zhou Chang" writes: "Zhou Chang is a Pei man. Chang is a strong man and dares to speak out. He has been humbled by Xiao, Cao and others. Chang tastes the performance, and Gao Di will do it. After supporting Qi Ji, Chang returned. Emperor Gao asked him, "How can I be the master?" Chang Yang said, "I am the master of Jie and Zhou!" When Qi Jizi was appointed as the crown prince, the ministers fought hard and couldn't get it. The superiors used Liu Hou's policy to stop it, but the conflict in Changting was strong. When the superiors asked him, Chang was eaten by others, and he said angrily: "I can't say anything, but." I always knew that I couldn't do it! Your Majesty wanted to depose the prince, but I didn't follow the imperial edict!" The emperor smiled happily and then stopped. When she saw Chang Wei, she said: "Weijun, how can the prince be deposed?" '"

Zhou Chang in the story is a fellow countryman of Liu Bang. He is known for his outspokenness and courage to admonish. He is a straightforward minister who does not recognize others. When he entered the palace to perform an event, he encountered the emperor flirting with his beloved concubine. This shows that the monarchs and ministers at that time were not just talking in a purely male world. The people under his command knew that the emperor was flirting with his concubine, and yet they dared to let Zhou Chang enter the palace. This shows that people at that time did not value the defense between men and women. When Zhou Chang saw the emperor and Qi Ji together, he pulled away not because he was afraid of seeing women, but because the emperor was obsessed with women. Therefore, when Liu Bang asked him what kind of emperor he was, Zhou Chang replied, " He is also the lord of Jie and Zhou."

The most proud thing in Zhou Chang's political career was to prevent Liu Bang from deposing the crown prince. Liu Bang was a lustful person. Empress Lu was originally his wife, but he loved his concubine Qi Ji deeply. He loved the house and was very fond of Liu Ruyi, the daughter of Qi Ji, so he wanted to marry Liu Bang. The prince Liu Ying, born to Empress Lu, was deposed and replaced by Ruyi. It is unreasonable to abolish the elders and establish the young. However, because Liu Bang insisted on it, most of the opponents had no choice but to "retreat in the face of difficulties." But Zhou Chang didn't look at his face and accepted death. He always had a stuttering problem. When he was anxious, he came up with the eternal famous saying "I think it's impossible every time" which made Liu Bang amused. So the issue of deposing the crown prince was put on hold for the time being. He has been thinking about his son's future. Worried about her fate, Empress Lu, who hid behind the scenes and eavesdropped, was elated. She met Zhou Chang when he retired from the court and thanked him repeatedly.

The most shocking thing (of course, shocking the world and the customs of future generations) is another thing mentioned in Sima Qian's "Historical Records".

During the reign of Emperor Jing of the Han Dynasty, Zhidu was a minister. Emperor Jing once visited Shanglin Garden - Shanglin Garden is located at the junction of the west of Xi'an City in Shaanxi Province and Zhouzhihu County, covering an area of ??more than 200 miles. Animals were kept inside for the emperor to shoot and hunt, and there were dozens of palaces, temples, and pavilions. The great writer Sima Xiangru once recorded his extravagance in "Ode to Shanglin". Fortunately, there were not many people accompanying the emperor on this trip. Only Zhidu followed behind the emperor.

Zhi was a native of Dayang, Hedong (now Pingludong, Shanxi) in the Western Han Dynasty. During the reign of Emperor Jing, he served as the prefect of Jinan. He killed local powerful men and was promoted to lieutenant (official title) for his merits. Considered a "goshawk".

While he was playing, Emperor Jing suddenly ordered Zhidu to summon his beloved concubine Jiaji on his behalf - Jiaji was in the toilet at the time, and Zhidu of course thought it was "convenient" to call Jiaji at this time. , it was really inconvenient, but Emperor Jing of the Han Dynasty was very unhappy. Later generations commented: "The emperor is in a dirty place, and it is not rude to have people come and see her in person?" But Emperor Jing was at that time. But I did have such thoughts.

Emperor Jing’s father, Emperor Liu Heng of Han Dynasty, once visited Linyuan during a trip, and Yuan Ang was accompanying him. Yuan Ang was Yuan Ang, who had served successively as Prime Minister of Wu and Prime Minister of Qi. He was a famous knight-errant at that time, and he also regarded himself as chivalrous. On this day, the family members of the inner palace accompanying Emperor Wen, besides the Queen, there was also Mrs. Jin. Mrs. Jin was favored by the Emperor at that time, so at the height of the sun, she ignored the etiquette and sat side by side with the Queen, and she did not feel uneasy at all; Yuan Ang suddenly became so heroic that he stepped forward, picked up Mrs. Jin and pushed her behind the queen.

During the Western Han Dynasty, there was little defense between men and women, but what about the Eastern Han Dynasty?

When it comes to the Eastern Han Dynasty, people often think of Dong Xuan, the "Strength Order". Dong Xuan once served as the order of Luoyang. The slave of Princess Huyang, the sister of Emperor Guangwu, deliberately killed people. When other officials heard that he was from the princess's palace, Anyone who did it would stay away, but Dong Xuan took advantage of the princess's driving to kill the evil slave. This act of beating the dog without looking at its owner angered the princess, and she complained to Emperor Guangwu Liu Xiu. Liu Xiu wanted to be a peacemaker, so he ordered Dong Xuan to meet with the princess, hoping that Dong would apologize to the princess and kowtow. , but Dong never kowtowed, thus earning a reputation as a "strong command".

In this historical fact, Dong Xuan met the princess.

At the end of the Eastern Han Dynasty, there was a very famous female writer and poet named Cai Yan (commonly known as Cai Wenji). This woman is erudite, eloquent, and proficient in music. She first married Wei Zhongdao in Hedong Province. Wei died and returned to her mother. During the chaos at the end of the Han Dynasty, Cai Wenji was captured by Dong Zhuo's generals, and later lived in the "Fan Kingdom" and married the Xiongnu King Zuoxian. Cao Cao, who loved and cherished talents, remembered his old friend and redeemed Cai Yan with a golden jade so that she could remarry Dong Si. Later, when Dong Si broke the law, Cai Wenji, barefooted and with her hair disheveled, went to the place where Cao Cao was gathering with a large room of men to intercede for her husband and saved her husband's life from death. When Cao Cao heard that Cai Wenji was coming, he said to the guests in the room: "My old friend's daughter is out here, and I want you to see her now" - he was willing to introduce Cai Wenji to everyone, and he did not avoid suspicion.

In the Three Kingdoms era, Xu Yun, the general of Zhenbei of Wei State, was arrested by Sima Yi because he was implicated by Xia Houxuan, Li Feng and others. After Xu Yun was arrested, his disciples hurriedly ran to tell Xu Yun's wife. After hearing the news, Xu Yun's wife sat beside the loom, her expression unchanged, and said, "I knew this would happen a long time ago!"

During the Eastern Jin Dynasty, Gengyou was arrested for something. His wife ran barefoot to the palace of the general who had the power of life and death to intercede for her husband. The guard refused to let him in, and she even argued with the guard.

Princess Pingyang, the daughter of Emperor Gaozu Li Yuan of the Tang Dynasty, was the famous commander-in-chief of the "Women's Army". At the end of the Sui Dynasty, when Li Yuan launched an army, the princess lived in Chang'an. The princess's husband, Chai Shao, abandoned his home and followed his father-in-law eastward. Only the princess and some domestic slaves were left in the family. The dangerous situation inspired Princess Pingyang's lofty ideals, and she fled to In Hu County, Sanjiaizi recruited hundreds of young men and formed a women's army based on this. It should be noted that the "Women's Army" as the ancients called it is not exactly the same as the "Women's Army" we have today. At that time, the vast majority of the Women's Army were men.

The "Old Book of the Tang Dynasty" says: "Anlu Mountain has meritorious service, the emperor favors him, and Zhao and all his aunts become brothers, and Lushan's mother is a concubine. When she comes to court, she will have a banquet and a happy marriage." "——An Lushan is a famous Hu general. "Aunts" refers to Yang Yuhuan's sisters, "fei" refers to Yang Yuhuan himself, and "emperor" refers to Emperor Xuanzong of the Tang Dynasty. Emperor Xuanzong allowed An Lushan to associate with the sisters of the imperial concubine just because of his military exploits, and even had a "feast and get-together" with the imperial concubine. This shows that the defense between men and women in the Tang Dynasty was not very high.

After the Song Dynasty, especially after the Southern Song Dynasty, due to the prevalence of Cheng-Zhu Neo-Confucianism, the defense between men and women began to become tighter.

The Hu family died without medicine and the Chen family came back to life

Beginning in the Ming Dynasty, some unprecedented content was added to the official history book "The Legend of Martyrs".

The "History of the Ming Dynasty·The Biography of Lienu" records: "The Hu family was from Kuaiji, with the courtesy name Tongli Shen. She was about to get married, but it was difficult for her to marry her father... She helped her father return home from the funeral, so she got married. In the sixth month of the year of Hu's death, Hu kept crying. Not seen. He contracted the disease late in life, and his family went to the doctor and told his father: "How can the widow's hand be ignored and she died without medicine?"

This person was listed as " In "The Legend of the Martyr Woman", Mrs. Hu was obsessive about observing the rites of her late husband and refraining from intimacy between men and women. As a fifty-one-year-old woman, she refused to ask a doctor for treatment when she was seriously ill. The reason was because the doctor was a man, and At that time, doctors had to touch the patient's hand (to take the pulse) when diagnosing a disease, so he died without treatment.

This kind of fierce woman was not seen before the Tang Dynasty.

Look at another example from "History of the Ming Dynasty".

The "History of the Ming Dynasty: Biography of the Martyr Woman" records: "Chen Jiefu was from Anlu. She was named Li and was widowed early. She was alone. She returned to her father's house and sat down in the small building with her ambition. She was thirty years old and could not go downstairs. Year.

On his deathbed, he said to his maid: "Be careful not to pick on me as a man before I die!" ’ The family members suddenly said this and ordered the man to go up the stairs and lift it up. When he was out of breath, he stood up and said, ‘What did I say in the first place to bring this person to this place? ’ The family members fell down in horror. ”

This wife, Chen Jie, guarded the safety of men and women to an almost crazy level. Not only did she not meet any men during her lifetime, but she also did not allow men to go upstairs to carry her body after her death. This kind of Behaviors are not found in the history books before the Tang Dynasty.

Although Cheng-Zhu Neo-Confucianism was produced in the Song Dynasty, the heroic women recorded in "Song History: The Story of Martyrs" did not achieve the level of protection between men and women. It was almost crazy after the Ming Dynasty.

Here is an example that readers may wish to compare with what is recorded in "History of the Ming Dynasty":

"History of the Song Dynasty: Biography of Martyrs": " The daughter of the Han family, named Ximeng. People from Baling, or descendants of Prime Minister Qi. Young ### knows how to read. In the first year of Kaiqing's reign, the Yuan soldiers arrived in Yueyang. Eighteen out of ten women were plundered by the soldiers and sacrificed to their generals. The female knowledge was inevitable and she went to the water to die. After three days, his body was found. Yu Lianqun has a poem that says: "I pledge this Hulian, and the ancestral temple offers Pingfan." Once the baby was in trouble, he lost his life in the army. It is better to die with a bloody sword than to die in quilt. There is Wang Meng in the Han Dynasty, but there is no Xie An in the south of the Yangtze River. The trombone goes to the torrent, violently destroying the heart and liver! '"

Han's death by throwing herself into the river was not mainly because she fell into the hands of a man, but because she was trapped among the "Hu soldiers". Therefore, she had "Wang Meng in Han Dynasty, Jiangnan" "There is no Xie An" sigh.

Look at another example in "The History of the Ming Dynasty".

The "History of the Ming Dynasty: Biography of the Martyrs" contains a woman named Chai. She was the wife of Sun Zhen of Xia County. In the winter of the fourth year of Chongzhen, a group of bandits approached Xia County. Chai and her husband took refuge in the mountains. Unfortunately, Chai and her husband were caught when the bandits were searching the mountains. She was so beautiful that she couldn't help but feel lustful. A man stepped forward and squeezed her hand. Chai, who was known as "strong", immediately bit off the flesh that the unknown man had pinched with her teeth and threw it away. Another soldier pinched her hand again. Chai's arm, Chai followed the same method and bit off a piece of flesh from the arm. As a result, he was hacked to death by the thieves with a knife.

This cruel move was to strictly protect men and women. It is rare in the history books of the previous dynasties.

We might as well compare it with the "History of the North" in the Southern and Northern Dynasties.

According to the "History of the North: Biography of Lienu": Julu Wei Pu's wife. The Fang family was the daughter of Changshan Fangzhan, the prefect of Murongchui Township. She was a child of Liecao. When she was sixteen years old, Pu fell ill and died. Gu said: "It is not regrettable to die, but it hurts that my mother is poor and her child is sick." , resenting Huang Longer! Fang wept and said to him: "Fortunately, I have inherited the teachings of my ancestors, and you are a gentleman when something goes wrong!" Righteousness lies in growing old together. Failure to follow one's will will ruin one's destiny. Madam is in the hall today, and the weak son is still in his infancy. I wish I could show my respect for you even though I am young! "Oh, Pu died. When Da Lian was about to be killed, Fang cut off his left ear with a knife and threw it into a coffin. He still said: "Ghosts and gods know what they are looking for! "The blood was flowing profusely. Those who helped the mourners were mournful and frightened. Mrs. Liu stopped crying and said, "How did the bride end up like this? He replied: "The bride is a young woman, but she is unfortunately widowed early." I'm really worried that my parents don't understand their true feelings, so I cut off my ears! ”

This “martial girl” in the Later Yan Dynasty also used knife to mutilate her body, but the reason for her mutilation was not because a man touched her ears, but because she wanted to use it to show her parents It's just her determination not to marry again!

From the Han Dynasty to the Tang Dynasty, there were very few "martial girls" who mutilated their bodies (there were only two people in "The Legend of Martyr Women"), and the purpose of their self-mutilation was to show that they were not worthy of marriage. The determination to get married is not like that after the Ming Dynasty, when the opposite sex is regarded as "AIDS". Once touched, "a poisonous snake bites the wrist and a hero breaks his arm."

Based on the above information, it is not difficult for us. It was found that although as early as the Warring States Period, someone (Mencius) had put forward the slogan "men and women should not be intimate", but until the Tang Dynasty, the boundaries between men and women were not as strict as in later generations, and concubines could meet with courtiers (such as Empress Lu With Zhou Chang), the wife of a colleague can talk to other men (such as Yang Chang's wife and Tian Yannian), the emperor can send ministers to the place where his beloved concubine goes to the toilet to urge her, and the minister can also pull the emperor's wife off the throne. Guangwu always said that he was "strict and observant of etiquette", but he allowed his sister to meet with his courtiers. Cao Mengde was always strict, but he was willing to introduce his old friend's daughter to the male guests present. His master's wife discussed matters with his disciples, his wife argued with the guard, and Princess Pingyang was upright. , commanded domestic slaves, recruited rogue bandits, and became the marshal who commanded the three armies. As for An Lushan and Yang Guifei's frequent contacts and ambiguous relationship, they have been seen in dramas. There are many such examples.

It was only after the Song Dynasty that men and women became "participants" in heaven and could not meet each other.

It needs to be explained that the ancient sages proposed that "men and women should not be intimate" in order to correct men and women. People are not required to strictly abide by the exchanges between each other. Therefore, Master Meng has a saying that "if your sister-in-law drowns, give her a helping hand" - when your sister-in-law falls into the water, you must reach out to save her. This is why Master Confucius said. For the sake of the realization of the political ideal of "junior, minister, father, son," he deigned to meet Nanzi, the wife of Duke Linggong of Wei.

But it was in the hands of future generations. To rectify the declining social customs, we have gone too far and read a good "Sutra" incorrectly.

Today we clarify the fact that the ancients did not always "give and receive without intimacy", and the purpose is not to benefit men and women. We need to find the theoretical basis for "existence in ancient times" when communicating with each other over etiquette, but to let everyone understand: any etiquette system has a process of formation. We can neither favor the past over the present, nor should we regard the present as the present. Proof of antiquity.

(The article is excerpted from "Subverting History" Author: Zhang Zhijun Publisher: Communication University of China Press)

We hope to adopt it