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On Friday, you need funny sketches or cross talks, lines and speed. Don't post them on the website.
A: Hello everyone! This is crosstalk actor xxx.

B: Well, hello, everyone!

Look at you. It's been years.

Yes, it is.

Have you ... taken a shower?

B: Take a shower, who hasn't!

No, I mean how do you take a shower?

B: soak in a big pool, soak in a small pool, and sometimes steam. Very comfortable!

Well, a shower. Have you washed it?

B: Of course. I wash at home every day.

How high is the faucet in your shower?

B: it's so high, more than 2 meters.

Have you ever taken a 20-meter-high shower?

20 meters? No. You washed it?

A: Stop it. I really washed it once.

B: Where is it?

One day, I was walking on the sidewalk. Wow, a basin of water fell from the sky and washed me thoroughly.

There is dirty water upstairs.

This water is not dirty. It has a lot of content.

B: Huh?

Answer: tomato skin (behind the head), old pumpkin seeds (on the head), alas! This family must eat seafood today!

What do you mean?

A: (on the tongue) Here are two fish scales!

B: Bah (reading puo), it's not dirty!

What do you suggest I do?

B: Go upstairs and find him!

A: I have looked for it. As soon as I knocked at the door, a man who couldn't speak human words jumped out: "Wang! Wang Wang Wang! " I had to: "Woof! Wang Wang Wang! "

B: OK! They talk to each other! You have to find the dog owner!

Looking for what? That's easy for you to say. There are more than 20 upstairs. Who should I go to? Even if he finds it, what if he refuses to admit it?

B: That's right. what about you ...

A: Me? (singing-above the moon) I left that big festival and took a bath for free! Thank you, comrade!

B: Keep singing!

Oh coconut, oh coconut, oh coconut ... (cold action)

Look, everyone has a cold! (Facing the audience, pointing to A) He's finished! What about this time?

A: This time? I spoiled him!

B: spoil him?

A: Yes, I met him when he poured vegetable water today, and you met him when he poured bath water tomorrow. It's best that he poured a pot of boiling water that day and an asshole touched him, shaking his head, tinnitus, snub nose and flat tongue!

He is still doing the same thing!

A: Because of this, my colleagues call me "enema"

B: enema?

A: Yes, because I have always been used to him, always used to him, always used to him, so I was called enema.

B: this enema.

A: Yes.

B: Do you have any other examples?

Yes, when you were crossing the street, you were suddenly hit by a bike running a red light. You fly far away, bang!

A collapsed apartment. Have you ever had one?

B: No.

What would you do if you were hit?

What's the matter with you? Huh? No eyes! Didn't you see the red light when you rode your bike? Fuck you!

A: It's really uncultured!

B: Even if I don't scold him, I will teach him to obey the traffic rules. ...

A: It's even more boring!

Well, if you get hit, ...

A: why if? I've hit it!

Did you fly?

A: Yes.

Did you fall?

A: It's flat!

What did you say?/Sorry?

Oh, yo, yo, yo ... You ... your car didn't crash, did it? Excuse me! pity ...

B: Hey!

A: Seeing me like this, the man ran over and said, "You can't go far ... Aaron ... Aaron ..." "Brother, I don't have eyes!"

B: Look at this trouble!

A: "You're amazing ... ah, too much ... ah, too much ..."

Hold on!

A: "(waving) duo ... Addo ..."

How dangerous is it?

A: (waving) More (slapping yourself) ... Be talkative!

B: Cough! What are you doing?

I spoil him too much!

B: are you used to it?

A: Yes, I told him to run a red light. He is used to running every day. Not to mention, that guy said I was comfortable. I jumped out when I got on my bike, turned the corner, and bang! Call again!

Who did you hit?

I hit a car. Don't tell me, this car is really better than me. It hit me and I flew. There is nothing wrong with the crashed car. He flies alone. He flew farther than me, and he fell flat than me!

What happened?

A: (rolling his eyes) Oh, yo, yo, yo, yo ...

B: It was a bad fall.

A: I walked over as soon as I saw it.

B: Go to comfort others.

A: "Brother, that car is really amazing." Gaoxiang a look at him, just the juryman, now turned into a broth (giggle) hee hee hee. ...

B: Everyone, I don't think this enema is good!

A: What's the matter?

B: When you see a person making a mistake, you should educate him and don't let him develop this revolutionary spirit of not being afraid of death. It's not good for anyone if this goes on.

A: It's very kind of you to say so. Go ahead.

B: You ............... (angry) What do you want to spoil me?

A: No, I just think the way you talk about me is similar to that of my daughter-in-law.

B: What did your daughter-in-law say about you?

A: "Enema, come here and let me have a word with you. You said you would spoil anyone you met. Are you still like a man? " Bah!

B: What's the matter?

He spat at me!

B: it's time to spit!

I can't take it anymore! After all, I am an upright person, and I can't let her scold me any more. Suddenly my blood gas rose and I picked up a kitchen knife. Click!

B: Come on!

Answer: "Eat a watermelon first and then scold me."

B: Cough! It hasn't changed! What are you doing?

A and B: I spoil him!

You said you had nothing to spoil!

I'm used to her. Whenever she scolds me, I give him an old man to see if he can stand it!

An old man?

Sooner or later, she will leave me!

B: You know!