Smart parents will think that their children are unique and don't need to compare with others. When children feel that they are not as good as others, parents will guide them in the right way to make them realize their uniqueness. Unlike others, everyone has his own specialty. This kind of guidance will make children more confident and more motivated to do anything.
We always say that a child is a blank sheet of paper, and what you draw will make a child. Then, in the face of children's poor work and poor grades, why not have a little more positive influence? There is no such thing as "who is stupid and who is smart". The difference lies in fast and slow, fast and slow is only a matter of time. Therefore, giving children more positive influences is far more effective than your intense verbal stimulation.
Having dinner with friends at the weekend, I heard a stern criticism from the next table: "How can you be so stupid?" What's the use of eating a bad meal? "Judging from this, it should be the mother of the child.
Then the lady who ate at the same table said, "The child is still young, don't say that. Who hasn't made a mistake yet? " "You don't know, the child can't let a person worry. Mao Mao is always impatient and makes me angry! "
"You said that his father and I are highly educated. Why is this child so stupid? " Hearing friends loudly defending their children, mothers talked more and more about their shortcomings.
The child looks 6 or 7 years old, with his head down and secretly wiping his tears. Seeing this, my mother added angrily, "You know you're crying when you cry."
At that moment, I really wanted to take my child away and leave this angry and depressed mother. In such an environment, how can children become smart? He is afraid of what he does every day, because he will be called "stupid" by his mother if he doesn't do it well. For parents, this sentence may have become accustomed to it and become a way to criticize children. But for children, this sentence will always remind him that he is a "stupid child" like a ruler.
Don't hurt children with a "language knife"
Some time ago, I specially drew it again and looked up. I really am Marek's father Hao Wen. During his seven years in prison, he missed the growth of his children. As soon as he got out of prison, he rushed to see the children, but he met with the fact that the children were expelled from school. The school announced the expulsion directly in front of the whole school students on the grounds that Ma Fei violated the rules and his academic performance was not good.
Ma Haowen didn't beg the headmaster to keep the child like his mother's stepfather, but made a bet. Ma Fei can not only be admitted to the top ten in his grade, but also be the best child in the school when he graduates.
Finally, Ma Fei became a pilot. As it turns out, dad did it, and so did Ma Fei. Thinking of his father's gambling on the principal, Ma Fei was particularly depressed and said, "I am so stupid that you will cry." Dad said, "I don't care about the top ten. What dad cares about is whether your brain is sleeping or spinning."
Ma Fei's self-denial comes from his mother's educational style and the verbal stimulation of people around him. But dad helped Ma Fei regain his confidence and become a useful person through infiltration guidance.
Parents are the most dependent people in children's hearts. When parents say "stupid", children will feel really stupid. This will not inspire children, but will only become a fetter on their growth path.
Negative hints will make children more and more stupid.
Just like the experiment of "talking to rice" in "Water knows the answer", if you say something bad, rice will soon go bad; If you say yes, rice can be preserved for a long time.
The hints of parents' words play an important role in children's growth. When you say that children are stupid, their subconscious will think that they are stupid, and they will use this reason as an excuse not to think about it when they encounter problems. Often calling children stupid is an output of negative energy to children. Negative language will make children feel depressed and frustrated, and children who have not been affirmed for a long time will gradually lose their sense of value.
Smart parents will do this:
Don't think children are "stupid". Children encounter problems and know how to encourage them in an appropriate way. Being silently with the child is the pillar of the child; Tell your child that you are not stupid at all, you just need time. Given more time, you will certainly do better. Positive language can make children feel affirmed and accepted, and gain a sense of accomplishment and value.
Regardless of the occasion, it hurts children's self-esteem.
Just like the above article, the restaurant criticized the mother of the child, regardless of the occasion, regardless of the child's face, just blindly expressing their dissatisfaction. Doing so has seriously hurt the child's self-esteem. If he shows up in this restaurant again, or meets his mother's friends, he will only think of bad memories and lift his head. This is not an alarmist, but a phenomenon described by many adults when reviewing their childhood experiences.
Smart parents do this: the mother of writer Hu Shi never educates her children to others, but she is very strict with him in private. The principle that his mother has always adhered to is to be kind to children, not to be seen by others, and not to be ridiculed by others.
Inferiority accompanies children all their lives.
Anyway, I am stupid and can't do anything. Children who are often scolded by their parents for being stupid will feel inferior in their bones. He will feel that he can't do anything well, and he will become less confident over time. This inferiority complex will affect a child's life, not only in his work, but also in his feelings and life. What's more, he will not only have a bad life, but also affect the child's life.
In the early morning, my mother came to talk: a second-born mother who started writing in the early morning, I wrote my heart by hand, and everything was my parenting experience with my children. I hope my parenting experience can bring you some help.
The picture is from the network, delete it.