I am most sorry for my first love, irmgard, a German girl. They fell in love in Germany for a long time, but they couldn't help falling in love, but they were separated from her because of family responsibilities.
He has great respect for his wife Peng Dehua. They supported each other for more than 60 years and raised their children together. They are all good wives and mothers in their hearts. And he also tried his best to maintain this arranged marriage with his wife, and did not abandon his wife like other contemporary masters of the Republic of China, or openly derailed to seek so-called true love. At this point, it can be said that it is a good idea.
Ji Xianlin, who studied abroad in her early years, is proficient in many languages, especially Romanian. He is one of the few scholars in the world who are proficient in this language. Later generations evaluated him? Brahma, Buddhism and Tam were studied at the same time, while China's literature, comparative literature and literary theory were studied in Qi Fei? , known as? Master of Chinese studies? . But he is most famous for his widely circulated Tsinghua campus diary, which is not written by a generation of Chinese scholars, but the daily thoughts like hooligans and cynics.
Among them, words are not shy. When his manuscript was not published, he wrote. My manuscript hasn't been published, damn it? ; He threw up when he was writing in class all morning? Does sitting hurt? ; Swearing when he has no time to play because of intensive exams? Damn, these bastards professors, not only don't know that they are discouraged, but also take exams all day. It's either you or me. What the fuck?
There is also an undisguised teenage boy's mind stimulated by hormones: I only wish I could have more women. In this diary, we can feel that Ji Xianlin is just an ordinary person. He also has his own joys and sorrows. He will curse when he is upset, and he also has the most primitive impulse, which is the same as most men's ideals. This undoubtedly shows us a more real Ji Xianlin, who, like many boys in their late teens, is full of hormones and longing for love.
The famous poem of Hungarian poet Petofi? Life is precious, but love is more expensive. If you are free, you can throw both. ? But this is how literati admire the courage to pursue true love and spiritual freedom? True love is invincible? In conclusion, when facing the choice of marriage and love, Ji Xianlin still didn't cross the bottom line of Ji Xianlin's heart and break his loyalty to marriage.
Ji Xianlin's hometown Qingping has the custom of early marriage. As early as 18 years old, Ji Xianlin and Peng Dehua got married at the instigation of his uncle and parents and under the rhetoric of the media. Actually, when his uncle proposed, Ji Xianlin resisted, but he had to accept it? A gift from my uncle? .
Peng Dehua has only a primary school education, and can probably understand the word 1800, so he is semi-illiterate. She is four years older than Ji Xianlin, and her family is not rich. She can only say that she is suitable for Kyrgyzstan. After marriage, they had a daughter named Wan Ru for the first time. Later, he had a son named Yanzong.
This arranged marriage has nothing to do with the love that Ji Xianlin dreamed of when he was young. However, in Ji Xianlin's eyes, Peng Dehua is a filial daughter-in-law, a good wife and a good mother, who is highly respected. For her in-laws, she really did her filial piety; For the sake of children, she really did everything a loving mother should do; She is absolutely loyal, obedient and full of love for her husband. ?
Peng Dehua and his children.
She is a rare filial daughter-in-law, a good wife and a good mother. ? Although his wife's educational background is not high, she doesn't know much about Ji Xianlin's academic practice. But she took good care of Ji Xianlin and did everything a loving mother should do for her children. Together with her aunt, she kept the house in good order, so that Ji Xianlin had no worries and could devote herself to her work and research.
Ji Xianlin once described such a scene to illustrate the happy life of his family. He wrote:? Sometimes family and friends get together. Before the abbot eats, the table is full of cups and plates. Cooking is done by Lao zu (aunt) and chef Dehua. When the food is served, everyone wolfs it down, but the two of them often sit there and watch us eat with a smile, with a happy expression on their faces. ?
1in the spring of 994, Peng Dehua died at the age of 88. It has been 65 years since they got married on 1929. Ji Xianlin's grief is unbearable, and she often looks at his wife's photos with tears in her eyes. In an inch of grass? My wife, he wrote: What if China wants to fix it in the future? Twenty? What's in it? Woman biography? Or? Biography of women? If so, she should be on the list. ? It is enough to show his respect and nostalgia for his wife.
Ji Xianlin spent ten years in Germany during World War II. During the hard years of studying in G? ttingen, Ji Xianlin met his first love, which made him feel extremely excited.
Mr. and Mrs. Meyer, the landlords in Ji Xianlin, are very kind and have two daughters. The oldest lady is Umgard, unmarried. Ji Xianlin is only in his thirties, young and handsome, talented and polite. The Meyer family soon fell in love with this young man from China and often invited Ji Xianlin to their home.
Ji Xianlin was writing a doctoral thesis at that time. He wrote a manuscript in German, and he had to type it out before giving it to the professor. However, Ji Xianlin doesn't have a typewriter and can't type. And then miss umgard said? My father's factory has just eliminated a typewriter. I can help you. ?
As a result, Ji Xianlin went to her house almost every night for a long time. Ji Xianlin's paper is very professional, and the revision is messy. To Miss irmgard, it's just like a gobbledygook. So when Miss irmgard is typing, Ji Xianlin will sit by for consultation, and often work late into the night every day before Ji Xianlin comes home in the dark. Slowly, the two people developed feelings. Irmgard is gentle, considerate and sensible, which makes Ji Xianlin feel sad.
Similarly, irmgard also showed a good impression on Ji Xianlin. Therefore, Umgard often visits Ji Xianlin at school and cares about his daily life. They have a lot of * * * topics to talk about. They are often bored together all day. They often go for a walk, go to the movies, go shopping and travel all over the streets of Gottingen. It can be said that this period is the happiest period in Ji Xianlin's life.
However, whenever the dead of night, Ji Xianlin's heart is full of contradictions and pain. He thought he still had his wife and children in China, and they were all waiting for him to go home. Although it is an arranged marriage without love, since he is married, he will assume the responsibility as a husband and father. If he indulges himself to love irmgard and pursue his own love, it not only means betraying and abandoning his wife and children, but also means pushing the people he loves to the abyss of pain.
This goes against his education and his principle of being a man. And he will return to the motherland one day. It is better to have a long pain than a short one. After the deadline for writing a paper, he finally decided to break up this love. He said to irmgard:? I want to go back, back to my motherland, it needs me. ? However, when the girl pear flower asks him with rain? Stay, okay? I need you too. At that time, his heart was still full of pain and struggle, but in the end, his love for the motherland and his responsibility for his wife and children made him determined. Four days later, Ji Xianlin ran away from home and never heard from him again.
199 1 year, 80-year-old Ji Xianlin first revealed her little-known love experience 50 years ago when writing a long memoir, Studying in Germany 10. Ji Xianlin wrote:? It is in this mood that I left the Meyer family and irmgard. I wrote to her several times when I arrived in Switzerland. I lost touch with her after I returned to China. It's not true that I don't miss her. 1983, back in gottingen, I inquired about her, but she was as embarrassed as a yellow crane. ?
After the publication of "Ten Years of Studying in Germany", someone made a special trip to G? ttingen to find the whereabouts of Miss Umgard. Miss Umgard is an old man with silver hair, but she is still hale and hearty. She has never been married or single, but the old typewriter still sits quietly on the table. It's a pity that this stubborn old man missed his first love all his life.
In today's fast-paced lifestyle, people are more and more fond of the new and tired of the old, and few people will calm down to maintain a relationship. Change it if it doesn't fit? Attitudes towards marriage, marriage and divorce are becoming more and more serious, and it is not uncommon to get married today and divorce tomorrow. And Ji Xianlin, the master of Chinese studies, out of his responsibility for his family, resolutely bid farewell to the woman who made him heartbroken, gave up love, stuck to his heart and remained loyal to his marriage, which is worth learning from many of us.