? Gentle, a complimentary word, the Chinese dictionary explains that it is a person who is very cultivated, well-mannered, polite and elegant, and knows how to respect others. To put it simply, it means a cultured person, a cultivated person.
? This is a seemingly simple yet puzzling description. I say simple because everyone can understand its literal meaning; I say difficult because there are very few people who truly understand the connotation of this passage.
?I have discovered a phenomenon in my life. Whenever I see people wearing suits and ties at banquets or in the workplace, some people around me can’t help but make some compliments: Very polite. , appearance is dignified. This is the thinking of most people, and it is also the most puzzling to me. At this time, I asked myself a question: Can a person's elegance really be reflected by his clothing and manners alone? Recalling the plots in some movies and TV series, it seems that this is not the case.
?When I was a child, I did some very innocent and cute things: when I put on a police uniform, I felt like I was full of justice; when I put on an adult’s suit, I felt like It's full of elegance; when I put on the camouflage uniform, I feel like a soldier. Gradually, I understood a truth. Temperament is exuded from the inside out and is a person's cultivation, while clothing is a person's external modification (as the saying goes: a person depends on his clothes and a horse relies on his saddle). This is "gentleness" appearance and essence.
? To discuss "the appearance and essence of politeness", first give a simple definition of it. We call the "appearance of politeness" "fake politeness", or "fake politeness" for short, and the "essence of politeness" we call "true politeness", or "true politeness" for short.
Elegance in behavior, manners, conversation, and appropriate dress can be described as a "gentle appearance." This appearance is the external beauty of a person. "Hibiscus is not as beautiful as the makeup, and the breeze from the water palace is full of pearls and green fragrance"; "Pretty as a peach in three springs, pure as a chrysanthemum in nine autumns"; "Zong's handsome and handsome young man, holding up his wine glass and looking at the sky", throughout the ages, there are many beautiful words to describe handsome men and beautiful women. Its number. It can be seen that external gentleness is the most intuitive first impression on people. So, there is a question: Can external gentleness really mean that this person has a gentle temperament? The five colors are blinding, the five tones are deafening, and the five flavors are refreshing. When a person truly has a gentle temperament, he does not stick to the external appearance, but constantly strengthens inner cultivation to promote external gentleness. This is the process of a person shaping himself from the inside out.
To put it simply, "the essence of elegance" is divided into two categories. One refers to literati, that is, scholars who can write articles, people who can read and write; the second refers to cultivated people, who are cultivated. That is, the comprehensive quality of human beings and the cultivation of character in Taoism.
? The first category: literati. In an education system dominated by exam-oriented education, students are like semi-finished products, and schools are like production workshops. A large number of semi-finished products are placed on the assembly line for processing. The production method of this workshop is mass production. Therefore, although this category is classified under "gentle essence", in fact, in this production workshop, it is between appearance and essence, so we will not elaborate on it in detail.
? The second category: cultivated people. When a person improves his comprehensive quality, it is the true embodiment of his intrinsic gentleness, and only then can he show his gentle temperament (that is, give birth to external gentleness). People's comprehensive qualities can be divided into six categories: moral character, values, personality, interests, intelligence and ability, and physical fitness. A correct outlook on life and ideals of life, good moral character and sentiment, rich knowledge and cultivation, strong bones and body, constitute a person's inner elegance and are also compulsory courses for a person's life. In other words, only by constantly cultivating comprehensive qualities can we realize a deeper state of "nurture". The body protects the spirit, and each has its own rules and regulations, which is called nature.
The body and spirit maintain each other and operate naturally according to their respective laws, which is "nurturing the nature". This includes "nurturing the body" and "nurturing the spirit". Isn't it consistent with "the comprehensive quality of human beings"?
? There are different levels of elegance, and there is a relatively constant logical relationship between the appearance and essence of elegance. That is, it is difficult for external elegance to produce internal elegance. This is a difference in talent; while internal elegance does not. External elegance can be derived, which is a natural change from the inside out. When a person has both inner gentleness and external gentleness, this is a mysterious and indescribable state, which can be called a "model of self-control."