Humorous quotations 1 1. The heart is full of love, and all the beautiful women in the world are lovers.
2. As long as Taiwan Province Province is not recovered, I will fail to pass the grade one day!
I have a good temper. Even if I step on an ant, I will recite the scriptures and Buddha. Chuangjian died, and he built a grave for him. I was even more afraid of being single and lonely after his death, so I stepped on dozens of ants to accompany him. It can be said that I have tried my best.
Live well, because we will die for a long time ...
If you see a shadow in front of you, don't be afraid, it's because there is sunshine behind you.
6. Carnival is the loneliness of a group of people …
7. The old ladies on Naihe Bridge have sold Pepsi. How can I forget you?
8. Maybe one day, when you put on your wedding dress, I will have put on my cassock.
9. Every tiger dies in Pingyang, when I make a comeback.
10. Adolescence love is spiritual opium. Whether you smoke or not, there are always countless Lin Zexu standing behind you.
1 1. Let the house price rise more violently!
12. Who can be as loyal to double feelings as RMB?
13. Take other people's road and leave others with no choice.
14. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am in front of you!
15. I have been in love several times because of loneliness. Who knows that it is easy to be kicked after repeated battles and defeats!
16. If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.
The worst way to miss someone is to be seated by her side and know you'll never have her.
18. I just wanted to turn gracefully, but I accidentally ran into a wall.
19. How far is forever? Get out, boy.
20. After you have a heart and a face.
2 1. When I was a child, I lacked calcium, but when I grew up, I lacked love.
22. Even if you want to cry again, smile and say, damn it!
23. be a person who wanders between cow a and cow C.
24. The word "life" made my brain twitch and my spinal cord twitch for more than twenty years. Never got to the point.
25. I shine in this beautiful moment with the attitude of God. Please don't disturb mortals …
26. Counting sheep is done by foreigners, because the homonym of sheep sleeping and sleeping should be counting jiaozi …
27. People will play many roles in their life. If you are not happy, you can throw away the script. But remember, there is a script that really belongs to you. Don't lose it.
28. If my relationship fails, it must be the other person lying on the ground.
29. As the saying goes, leaders are not afraid of being like donkeys, but subordinates are afraid of being like pigs.
30. Slip on the banana peel until it is rotten.
3 1. Relax! Master, big brother will come to save us!
32. Not everyone can live a low-key life. The basis of keeping a low-key is to keep a high profile at any time.
33. I thought "invisibility" would make others unable to find me. It's no use. People like me, like fireflies in the dark, are bright enough and outstanding enough.
34. Diamonds last forever, and one goes bankrupt!
35. Let the future come and the past pass.
36. If you fall, stand up and cry.
37. The killer of marriage is sometimes not an affair, but time.
38. Never mention it, not because I forget it, but because I remember it.
39. Go into the hall, go out of the kitchen, kill Trojans, climb fences, drive cars, afford houses, fight for mistresses and beat hooligans.
40. We are two aspiring young people standing in the street who are about to fly their ideals.
4 1. When I become emperor, I will make you a prince.
42. This play is really good, especially your screenwriter, who is really talented. He graduated from a school with mental retardation. The plot he wrote is worse than that of the sheep. Even amoeba can't live without the keyboard. The biggest difference between him and a pig is that a pig can't become a human casually, but will become a pig every once in a while. I guess he wrote the script with pig's trotters. I suggested that he take some hemorrhoid medicine to treat his foot-and-mouth disease.
43. Honey, my eyelashes are drowning.
44. Whose children are not optimistic? Is there a place to jump rubber bands on the road?
45. freeze for three feet, and you can't thaw it unless you are in a microwave oven.
46. People are born to live, and the rest are just floating clouds.
47. Now all the performers are singing, those who can't sing are writing books, those who can't write books are acting, and those who can't play are singing. Showbiz is a circle.
48. I'm not a locust, I'm not a centipede, I only love my cheap brother and perfect love.
49. This is not a turning point in life, but a breaking point.
50. Chop the wire with a kitchen knife, sparking and lightning all the way.
5 1. Does this look like me?
52. You don't know what dependence is until you drop your belt.
53. The iron cock will leave some rust. You are a stainless steel cock!
54. I was pulled out before I could flirt.
55. Everyone is born primitive. Sadly, many people have gradually become pirates!
56. Don't say that others are mentally ill. The premise of encephalopathy is that they must have brains.
57. Lie down where you fell.
58. There are no windtight walls and no hanging beams.
59. When there is a bright moon, look up by yourself.
60. Is it necessary to be big? Dinosaurs didn't go extinct as usual!
6 1. The grievances that can be said are not grievances; A lover who can be taken away is not a lover.
62. If cigarettes are not obedient, we will "smoke".
63. It is better to be beautiful than to live beautifully!
64. Besides love, there are radishes in other people's fields.
65. Marriage is to wear cotton-padded clothes freely. It's inconvenient to move, but it will be warm.
66. When you can't figure it out, think about yourself in China, and everything will suddenly become clear.
67. Heroes don't ask for a way out, hooligans don't look at their age.
68. Put up two fingers and say to the students, "Students, the key to learning math well is three words! ! Do more exercises.
69. If you make trouble without reason, you have a plan!
70. I didn't mean to be different, so I can't have outstanding taste.
7 1. If the road is rough, just shout and go on.
72. If you get together for a long time, you will get together for a long time; Drinking will drive you crazy. You will drink every glass of wine.
73. What are you unhappy about? Say it to make everyone happy.
74. Women are made of water, men are made of mud, and Li Junji and Chris Lee are made of cement.
75. Men who go to bars are looking for excitement, while women are mostly looking for excitement.
76. If you look like a steamed stuffed bun, don't blame the dog for following.
77. Life is sometimes like a computer. If it collapses, it collapses. It's not negotiable.
78. The sea is wide and the fish jumps, and the broken drum can be beaten.
79. Only you can hurt me.
80. Nongfu Spring is a bit sweet, but men's words are a bit awkward.
8 1. above people, treat people as people; Under people, treat yourself as a person.
82. I hope someone will spoil me to lawlessness.
83. The hero is very sad about Beauty Pass. I'm not a hero, but the beauty let me through.
84. I am like a fly lying on the glass. I have a bright future, but I can't find a way out
85. The congestion in Beijing has brought trouble to the capital. ...
When we were young, we often made faces in the mirror. In old age, mirrors are flat.
87. My wife and I haven't spoken for 18 months, so I haven't had a chance to interrupt her.
88. Don't talk to me about feelings. Talking about feelings hurts money.
89. Guangu: Longlong, you are a poor year, forever and ever.
90. Don't trust women. A gentle woman often hides a violent heart.
9 1. The word love is amazing. Taken from the abnormal change above and the abnormal state below.
92. This is the road to success, but it is still under construction. Remember to wear a helmet.
93. Don't give the right to speak to your opponent, it's stolen.
94. Your explanation is cover-up, cover-up is fact, and fact is the beginning of evil.
95. If you don't play by common sense, Conan will be angry with Richard Moore if he is still alive.
96. You are sheep tone. You went astray at first, and you can't run back, can you?
97. I am a stream that keeps flowing forward, and the stream never stops.
98. Love without the purpose of marriage is hooliganism.
99. When you fall down with only one drop of blood, call Brother Zeng three times to come back to life.
100. Listen to other people's stories and shed your own tears.
Humorous quotations 2 1. Life is like a shower, the direction is wrong, hot water.
Before fighting, you need to conquer your fear.
3, time will heal almost all wounds, if your wound has not healed, please give time!
4, once the sea was difficult for water, fish-flavored chicken legs and shredded pork.
The price increase of pork is for our weight loss, the price increase of vegetables is for our low-carbon life, the price increase of cemetery is for our good life, and the salary does not rise for our hard work.
6. Change the world with your smile. Don't let the world change your smile.
7. The difference between man and other animals is that animals have always been animals, but people are not necessarily.
8. There is a difference between love and liking. Pick a flower if you like it, and water it if you love it.
9. Life is a game. If you don't plan your life, life will plan you.
10, everything in the world can be answered with "none of your business" and "none of my business", and no one has cracked it. Until one day, God replied: I fell in love with your daughter-in-law.
1 1, a person can fail many times, but as long as he doesn't start blaming others, he is not a failure.
12, heroes don't ask for a way out, hooligans don't look at their age.
13, the person who is willing to stay and argue with you at ordinary times is the one who really loves you!
14, there is no rehearsal in life, live broadcast every day; Not only the ratings are low, but also the salary is not high.
15, a little more fun and happiness every day is the best reward for yourself.
16, from being penniless at the beginning of the year to being penniless at the end of the year, I am me, fireworks of different colors, and I am angry with myself.
17, obviously not a stranger, but pretending to be stranger than a stranger.
18, women must be better to themselves. Once you are exhausted, other women will spend your money, live in your room, sleep with your husband and beat your baby!
19, if you don't give up, you will have a chance of success.
I swear, I won't stay up late today. If I stay up late again, I will swear again.
2 1, when you feel that you have nothing, you have nothing to be cute about. Look in the mirror, honey, you still have meat!
22. It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.
23. When the girl who has a crush on her professes to her, she should simply push it against the wall and say, "I will support you in the future." Say that finish, kiss her, and don't give her a chance to refuse and think. That's what I did. My face is swollen!
24. Great regret in life: I won't choose; Do not force choice; Keep choosing.
25, life is breathing, breathing is to take a breath, sucking is to fight for a breath.
26. I have a dream since I was a child: to wear sunglasses, drive a Lamborghini sports car and go home in clothes. Now I have realized half my dream and have sunglasses.
27. I am jealous when I see others making money, but I have no ability, so I have to change my direction and close my eyes.
28. God spread wisdom all over the world, so you brought an umbrella!
29, the surface is heart-to-heart, and everyone is playing with their brains behind them.
30. To believe is to believe, and not to believe is not to believe. What does WeChat mean?