Ninety percent of parents are worried about their children’s concentration but are doing destructive actions

Ninety percent of parents are worried about their children’s concentration but are doing destructive things. When doing destructive things, good concentration is not innate, it needs to be cultivated. When a child's attention is constantly disrupted, his attention will gradually become distracted. Ninety percent of parents are worried about their children's concentration but are doing things that undermine it. Ninety percent of parents are worried about their children's concentration but are doing destructive actions 1

The child can concentrate on eating

A child over 2 years old, he is alone Sitting there, playing with a bucket of blocks. He first poured the blocks out of the bucket, and then patiently put them back one by one. After playing it, pour it out, and play it again... His movements are still very childish and slow, just like slow motion in a movie. He couldn't hold a block firmly and rolled to the side or into a small corner. He retrieved the blocks with difficulty and continued his project.

There was no trace of impatience on his face. He seemed to have completely forgotten the existence of the world around him and was completely immersed in this seemingly boring process for adults. However, if you can squat down and look, you will see the light of concentration in the child.

The child can concentrate on the game

A child over 4 years old. His mother took him to play in the community. He was about to squat down and grab the sand with his hands. His mother immediately stopped him: "You're dirty, go play on the slide!" The child hesitated for a moment, but looked at his mother's serious face and walked away. I just went on the slide and played a few times. The mother said, "Come on, baby, take off your clothes and stop sweating!" The child stopped, took off his clothes, and seemed to have lost interest in the slide.

Looking for someone to play with again, I walked to a bush of wild flowers. There happened to be a butterfly flying down there. The butterfly was frightened and flew away, so the child chased it. However, before running far, the mother followed up, holding a water glass in her hand, stopped the child, and said, "Don't run so fast! Come on, you are thirsty, drink some water!" The child was a little impatient and sullen. Watching the butterfly fly away.

Children can focus on exploring

The descriptions in the above two paragraphs are the situations of children’s games that I have observed in real life. What most parents don't know is that play is their child's job. A child over 2 years old can play with a simple object for half a day. As for a 4-year-old child, he is probably already playing with building blocks and becomes impatient easily.

Because every healthy child has the ability to focus from the beginning of life. Later, when parents continue to insert themselves into their children's games, they are actually cutting off their children's attention. After children enter elementary school, parents will press and hold "focus" more and more. But concentration problems never appear only in elementary school. The foreshadowing of the problem has already been laid as early as preschool.

After communicating with each other, we found that most of the parents who asked about this issue have impatient tempers, push their children too much, and control and talk too much on weekdays. An overly noisy upbringing environment not only makes it difficult for children to develop good patience, but also makes it difficult for parents themselves to truly calm down, get a chance to breathe, and carefully reflect on themselves and their life situations. Therefore, parents who are troubled by their children’s concentration problems might as well start by adjusting themselves.

What parents need to do is to let go and not disturb.

There is a very wise saying in China called "quietness can bring wisdom." Every parent who is tired of life needs to learn the ability to get along with himself and make himself quiet. If parents continue to be upset and unable to find the backbone of their lives, not only will they be unable to settle down, but their children will also become anxious and uneasy, lacking spiritual support and stability.

With such a mental state, let alone focusing on learning and doing things.

Of course, in addition to parental interruption, there is another situation that causes children to lose concentration.

A 9-year-old girl was raised by her parents in the care of an elderly person since she was a child. When she got older, she was sent to a boarding school. Her state was that she was completely unable to cope with herself. As long as someone is willing to play with her, even if it is a bad playmate and makes her uncomfortable, she is willing. While doing homework, any noise would attract her attention. She is always creating one topic after another, hoping to build links with others.

One day, she told me that in boarding school, she often had such a dream: there was a person chasing her in the dream. She never looked back to see who that person was. Anyway, she knew someone was chasing her, so she ran ahead in fear.

This is the whole plot of the dream. After listening to it, the only feeling I felt was distress. This child created a "companion" for himself in the dream to relieve his inner loneliness. What's the scariest thing in the world? It wasn't that there were bad people with ulterior motives around me, nor was it that I encountered any monsters or ghosts, it was just that there was no one around. The whole world is empty except for you.

A child who has been separated from his parents since he was a child, a child who is fostered in a home without companionship, and then transferred to a boarding school, is very afraid of loneliness and abandonment deep down in his heart. Therefore, she will always remain in a state where she can be involved and related to anything, in order to avoid the loneliness and pain deep in her heart.

Therefore, if you want a child to have the ability to be alone and concentrate on something, parents must first give them enough love. A loved child actually has a good parent living in his heart. In this way, they can feel at ease, feel safe and comfortable, and have the psychological energy to devote themselves to something. Of course, every family and every child will have their own unique circumstances. So, if you are also troubled by your child's concentration, then the following benefits are prepared for you.

After all, since a child’s concentration can be artificially “cultivated” to be short, of course it can also be “cultivated” to be long. It just depends on whether you are willing to try it. Ninety percent of parents are worried about their children's concentration but are doing destructive actions 2

1. Parents' excessive concern interferes with their children

For example, children lie down and read books , the parents will correct it directly, which will affect the child's behavior and so on. Over time, the child's concentration will be affected and worsened.

2. Parents are arbitrary and rudely interrupt what their children are doing

Some parents have a more egoistic personality and always interrupt what their children are doing, affecting their concentration and destroying their ability. The affection between parents and children.

3. Parents "induce" their children from the side

For example, parents play games and watch TV or yell, which diverts the children's attention. This affects the maintenance of children's concentration. Then, children's poor concentration is also related to their own interests. For example, children like playing games but don't like doing homework, so their concentration on homework is easily destroyed. So whether children can concentrate depends on their interests.

Montessori has a famous saying: Never disturb a child unless you are invited by the child. Children are often very involved in doing things that adults think are boring. This is precisely their excellence. It is difficult for us adults to concentrate on doing boring things.

If we do not participate or disturb, children’s various plays in daily life are a good time for high concentration and development of attention. Cultivating children's concentration is actually about how parents can control themselves and not destroy their children's concentration. Children's concentration is not cultivated, but protected.