I don't think I'm a chicken blood mother. It took Dawa two years to tell me, and I promised her to learn piano. I really don't think I have to learn the piano, just like I don't have to learn the Olympics. I thought two years of persistent study should be true love. Then study, and I won't force her to take the exam, as long as I can treat it as love and fun.
However, I still think too much! What's going on? Hang in there? ! We agreed not to be afraid of hardship or fatigue, and we must practice the piano well. ! Tens of thousands of big guys say they don't love, so they don't love? ! I am not chicken blood, I am not a tiger mother, but I still can't accept it! I tried my best to get Dawa to try again and play again. Take her to a concert, tell her stories about musicians, set an example, and learn piano with her. Yes, ........................................................................................................................................................! Study! Steel! Jane.
Ten thousand grass mud horses galloped past in my heart! Never play the piano again? ! Did you have a good time? ! ! ! Do you know how much money, time and energy I spent learning piano for you? ! ! ! Full of anger, give me three days and three nights to spray! However, I still held back, who let me consciously and voluntarily carry the idol burden of positive discipline lecturers? I have to catch my own people!
Come, take a deep breath, face-to-face discipline, heuristic questions instead of imperative sentences:
Me: Can you tell me why I don't want to learn piano anymore?
Dawa: I just don't want to learn!
Me: You wanted to learn piano so much before. Why don't you want to learn now?
Dawa: I just don't want to learn!
Me: Before paying the teaching fee, you said you should study hard before we signed up. If we don't finish our study now, we should keep our promise.
Dawa: I broke my word!
Me: Then we make a promise. If you say you're going back on your word, you will. I can't accept it. Let's think of one that I can accept and you can be satisfied with.
Dawa: No!
We can't talk anymore! ! ! ! ! Recall that the uncooperative children in our class are angels, so it will be done in a few words! It's ten thousand times harder to have a baby in reality!
If you can't inspire, give advice and offer choices:
Me: Look, you can't think of a good way for the time being. Then mom gives you three suggestions, and you choose.
1. Keep your promise and finish this semester. We will discuss whether to continue next semester.
2. If you don't practice at home, discuss with the teacher, take the class to practice in winter vacation, and go to the teacher's house to practice. If you don't understand, ask the teacher immediately to see if you like it. If you don't like to play like this, it is estimated that all classes will be over in one winter vacation, and you can get rid of it in advance;
If we don't play now, the class fee will be wasted. After all, it's not money falling from the sky. Mom and dad's hard-earned money can't be wasted like this, or you can try to earn it back for me.
Dawa: No!
Stalemate again! But afterwards, I was even more afraid that she would choose 3, and the Chinese New Year would be celebrated in a few days, and then she would throw me the lucky money and stop learning! Not more against my original intention! Deep weakness, really want to give up. .....
Hurry up and ask the sisters in the study group of the lecturer class for help! They always give me guidance and help, and this time is no exception. My sisters suggested that I put down the piano first, spend more time with my eldest child, and let her feel love first. It is more useful for friends to exchange their feelings about playing the piano than for adults to preach ... Too many good suggestions have made me see some hope, at least there are so many positive ways to try. I also picked up the "wrong destination list", and my feeling is helplessness, powerlessness and hopelessness! The purpose of corresponding children is: give up on yourself! I can feel that she has the false belief that "I am helpless and incompetent, and it is useless to work hard because I can't do it well." I think I can "based on children's interests", "simplify tasks and know that children can experience success", "encourage any positive efforts" and "express my trust in children's abilities" ......
I decided not to mention the piano for the time being until I thought of a better way. However, the world is so wonderful. Two days later, Dawa's good friend came to play at home and played some songs. Dawa told me that she wanted to learn the songs played by her friends well. I quickly encouraged her to try them. I am also looking forward to her playing for me. Naturally, it didn't go well at first. After only playing the first two bars, I said it was too difficult and I didn't want to continue. This lasted for several days. After I recited the whole song countless times, I expressed to her how much I wanted to hear her play the whole song. The first two summaries are so beautiful and fluent (only those two sections are played every day, so it is difficult to be fluent ~). It may be a little difficult to try again, but with the efforts of the first two bars, I should be able to play so beautifully. She tried most of the pages in one breath and finally lived up to many of my words. I also communicated with my teacher about her situation. The teacher changed the course very understandingly and taught this song. The teacher also gave feedback, and the quality of putting her favorite songs back into the classroom was higher. Every day after that, the first thing Dawa did after breakfast was to play the piano. Even one day, she said to me, mom, why do I have more fun? How touched I am when I hear this sentence, the more I play, the happier I am. Isn't that what I'm looking forward to most? ! !
I know that Dawa's story will never be so dull, and there will be repetitions afterwards, and I am ready to fight harder. She didn't flip into a piano bullfrog, but she is still learning at her own pace. But when she said, "Why do I get happier when I talk more?" Suddenly, I feel that it is even more powerful to deal with ~ fight! Hold on!