Liu Miao wrote in Laughter and Humor: "Studying the principle of jokes, it is not difficult to find that humor is often related to injury. In other words, a joke is a kind of legal injury. In most jokes, there is always a poor person who is insulted or hurt. "
How to unfortunately become the object of ridicule and insult, how to deal with this malicious world and crack down on those who laugh at you. Spring and Autumn Big V teaches you a few tricks.
The first trick: hit the dog with a headache, leaving no room.
This trick is quite laxative to use. I forgot all about "taking a step back and broadening the horizon" and "doing more is better than doing less". If others hurt my dignity, they will use dog stick's method to beat me head-on.
Chen Zhengshu's mother is a legendary beauty. In history, she became queen three times and married others seven times. Nine men died because of her. The so-called "killing three husbands, one gentleman and one son, killing two ministers in one country".
After the death of The Last Month Of Summer's husband and Xia Zhengshu's father, The Last Month Of Summer had a relationship with Chen Linggong, the monarch of Chen Guo, and Kong Ning, the minister and father of clothing industry. The monarch and his two ministers enjoy beauty and are not jealous of each other. They also openly took out The Last Month Of Summer's underwear to play in court, which was shameless to the extreme.
On one occasion, the three men were drinking at The Last Month Of Summer's house, and Chen Linggong played a classic joke on the two courtiers in front of Xia Zhengshu. "I think Zheng Shuchang looks like you two!"
The two blind people also said, "It's obviously like you!"
Today, Lao Guo, who loves joking, made fun of Yu Qian and Sha Yi on the stage. People are so angry that they can't oppose him. I am afraid of being said by him, "I am talking about cross talk, how can I take it seriously!" "
Xia Zhengshu, a young man, was humiliated face to face, but he didn't have the profound concentration. After drinking, he drew an arrow and shot the shameless Chen Linggong, scaring Kong Ning and his father to flee to Chu.
The consequences of joking around are very serious, which can lead to a bloody case and a war.
There was a minister named Ke in the State of Jin. He had a strong business ability, but he had a shortcoming, that is, he was hunchbacked.
When Duke Jing of Jin was in the State of Jin, he went to the State of Qi. At that time, Ji's father and grandson were also sent to Qi. Ji's father is lame and Sun is a cyclops.
Seeing such a disabled ambassador group, Qi Qinggong was overjoyed, and let Ke, the lame man's father Ji, and Sun, the one-eyed man, receive him.
JiQingGong didn't say happy, also let mother xiao and uncle looked across the curtain, for fun.
The scholar-officials of a great country were teased by women, and Jike was so angry with this unreliable mother and son that he swore: "If you don't report it, Hebo will watch!"
A few years later, the opportunity came. In 589 BC, Duke Qing of Qi led an army to crusade against Lu and Wei, allies of the State of Jin. After receiving the letters of help from the two countries, he immediately led half the troops of Jin State and took 800 chariots to crusade against Qi State.
The two sides fought a decisive battle in the saddle. Xi Ke took an arrow and remained on the battlefield. He led the army to attack Qi and fled.
Qi sent someone to make peace, and Jike finally said proudly, "Uncle Xiao must be sent as a hostage."
Xiao Tong's uncle is Qi's mother, so no one takes her as a hostage. Of course, Qi won't do it. However, Xi Ke won the battle, and his mouth was intolerant, venting his resentment.
It's really fun to beat up people who are joking! But there are several preconditions for using this trick.
First, our own strength should be excellent. Only by mastering the military power can we be able to fight against Qi and avenge ourselves.
The second is to bear the consequences. Xia Zhengshu killed Chen Linggong in a fit of pique. Later, cut Chen, car crack Xia Zhengshu. When you take revenge, you should weigh your own strength more.
Sometimes, you don't have to fight to the death to export evil spirit. You can also defeat the enemy with gentle moves. Look at the second step.
The second trick: the stars arch the moon-deal with a man as he deals with you.
It is not Mr. Murong of Gusu who can use this trick best, but Qi.
According to historical records, Yanzi's height is "less than six feet long", which is about one meter four. It is not surprising that he was bullied in other countries as a diplomat.
When Yan Zi was sent to the State of Chu, the Chu people deliberately opened a small hole next to the gate to let Yan Zi pass through it.
If Dick comes, he will be so angry that he won't even enter the door, swearing at Chu, "I won't be a man if I don't avenge this", and then returning to China to train and prepare to fight Chu.
But Yan Zi just said flatly: "Those countries that engage in dogs enter through the dog door. I am an envoy of Chu, so I can't enter this door. "
The meaning is clear. You are a dog country, so I entered through the dog door. If you are Chu, I must go in through the gate.
The Truman had no choice but to let him strut through the gate.
The king of Chu was unwilling to make things difficult for Yan Zi. He said to him, "There is no one in Qi, is there? Send a hobbit like you to us? "
Yan Zi was not angry and said generously, "There are many people in Qi, and there are many capable people. Talented people have gone to good countries, and I have no choice but to come to Chu. "
Choke a king of Chu and couldn't eat any more. Call around and do something big.
When drinking, people tied the thieves of Qi to the temple and deliberately said to Yan Zi, "People in Qi are easy to steal."
Yan Zi said a word, which became a famous saying of later generations. "oranges are born in Huainan and oranges are born in Huaibei." It is obvious that the soil and water in Chu is not good, which leads Qi people astray.
In the face of three positive provocations from Chu, Yan Zi did not move a trace of anger, and bounced Chu's ridicule on him to Chu himself. "Deal with a man as he deals with you" is also used to the extreme.
Chu can only smile and say, "I am in bring disgrace to oneself!" The fight turned into a joke.
Fo Yin, a monk, is the best one who used this skill in later generations.
Su Dongpo and Fo Yin are good friends. One day, Su Dongpo said to Fo Yin, "What am I in the eyes of a master?" Fo Yin said: "In the eyes of the poor monk, the donor is the golden body of my Buddha."
Su Dongpo was naturally happy to hear his friend say that he was a Buddha. I couldn't help but want to play a joke on Fo Yin and say with a smile, "But in my opinion, the master is a pile of cow dung."
I thought you were a golden Buddha, but you laughed at me for being a cow shit. People who are not cultivated enough can't help cursing, "You are cow shit, and your whole family is cow shit!" "
Fo Yin was not angry. He just said, "The Buddha is born from the heart, and there is a Buddha in the heart. Everything you see is a Buddha; My heart is cow shit, and everything I see turns into cow shit. "
What a "deal with a man as he deals with you", even a great talent like Su Dongpo, also missed a trick, which is indisputable.
The third measure: Gankun's big removal-thick accumulation and thin hair, Gankun reversed.
In the face of people who laugh at you, insult you and hurt you, revenge is of course a pleasure at that time. But under special circumstances, the strength is not enough, and the time has not yet arrived. It is wise to bear the anger for a while and keep a low profile.
Gou Jian, the King of Yue, worked for ten years and finally got revenge and destroyed the State of Wu. Wu Zixu was charged with killing his father and brother, serving Wu with all his heart, and finally whipping King Chu Ping for revenge. Han Xin, the marquis of Huaiyin, was humiliated by his crotch, so he was able to bend and stretch, and later became a god of war.
As long as people are alive, there is no chance to turn over.
Let those who looked down on you in the past see with their own eyes that you have reached a height that they can't reach by their own efforts. Isn't this a quick blow?